Stickman Readers' Submissions January 22nd, 2013

My First Thailand Bargirl Experience (Good)

My name is Jay and I live in Australia. I have been living in Australia for 28 years and am of Vietnamese background. I had never been outside the country ever in my life for travelling and was out with a Thai friend of mine (for the sake of the story his name is Pak) out late drinking in the nightclubs one night when randomly he asked me “Jay, what are you doing in May? Want to come with me to Thailand?” Without a passport or any idea of what to expect from the Thailand I knew of, he had been there over 10 times and I trusted him to take care of me in a foreign land. Not knowing what to expect from my holiday I woke up the next day, went to work and started immediately on my passport application. Passport arrived, leave approved, and May could not have taken longer to come. I was excited for my first trip ever outside of my western country and ready to indulge in the nightlife of Bangla Road. (At this point I had no idea about girls, barfines, girlfriend experience.)

It was about an hour from my home to the airport. I picked up Pak and we both headed to the airport where we had three hours to kill so we decided to grab a feed, ate, we waited, it was boring as hell yet I was still excited. Pak was very helpful and knew exactly what to do. He then started to explain what to expect in terms of the girls and the bars. Everything from finding a girl, buying drinks, and payment prices. I was shocked to hear that I could literally have a great night out, have guaranteed female company by the end at merely a cost of 2 packs of smokes back home. Even so I didn’t take much interest in this as I was quite keen on hitting beaches, eating, and partying at night.

mens clinic bangkok

We landed in Phuket and grabbed a bottle of Grey Goose from duty free and left the airport. Pak had arranged to have some friends from Patong come pick us up from the airport. I was introduced and off we went to Patong.

We got to our hotel and dropped off our bags to the bell boys who took them to our rooms and I still had no idea about the currency so I gave him a 200 baht tip. (This actually turns out in my favour down the track.)

It was now 7 PM and I wasn’t even hungry. I just wanted to hit the town and see what Thailand had to offer. I opened the bottle of Grey Goose in Pak’s room and we drank whilst he unpacked. (He packs heavy).

By the time we finished the bottle it was 8 PM and we decided to have a shower, get changed and hit the town. By now with a combination of the heat, jet lag, and Vodka I was totally tanked but still good enough to go out. I showered in cold water and got changed. We went downstairs of the Amata Hotel and said hello to our tattoo artist friend and the bell boy. The bell boy yelled “howzit goin mate?” We waved hello and off we walked down the road towards Bangla Road.

The heat, the smells, the lights, the stores, the ladies screaming, massage palors, it was overwhelming and Pak was walking with a fast pace as he knew where he was headed. I on the other hand was busy taking in the sights and fending off massage girls. One massage girl grabbed me by the arm with an iron grip and did not let go whilst saying something in Thai. I replied “I’m sorry not Thai”. She then turned to her entourage of massage ladies as to say “Does he not look Thai?”

Still with her iron grip she turned to me and said in English “Come I give you special massage”. I laughed and pulled away, I gave her a wai and ran after Pak who hadn’t even noticed that I had fallen behind.

We reached Bangla Road and I could not even remember to this day which bars we hit. I remember the first bar we went to for I had seen one of the cutest Thai girls I had ever seen. I smiled at her and she giggled shyly and turned to her friend. I kept on walking and stopped at the bar where Pak was and we had our drinks and left. The second place we went to was a place called White Room where we met a pair of girls, one from England and her friend who was Thai but also from England. Pak noticed a tattoo just above her stomach and asked her what it meant. She replied “It’s my name, so when you f#$* me you know exactly who I am!” I nearly spat my drink in the other girl's face in shock.

I then needed to use the bathroom so I went outside. When I came back I was pretty drunk and Pak looked pretty bored so we decided to leave. At some point between here and to the time I woke up in my hotel I had gotten lost and separated from Pak and do not remember a thing. I woke up in my room with vomit on the floor and a slight headache. I mesaged Pak and told him I was going downstairs to have breakfast and he said he would get dressed and meet me. I went down first to the hotel restaurant and saw the bell boy who had brought our bags up and he laughed at me and asked me “How you feel?” I looked at him with a puzzled look “You pass out at the front of hotel, I carry you to room and cannot find your key”. He said “so that’s how I got in my room!” I replied. “Mao mak mak” he said and laughed. I gave him another hundred baht, wai and said thank you. Pak came down and we both went in and had our breakfast.

wonderland clinic

We stayed in Phuket for 7 days and each day I did not take any ladies back to my hotel, even with the countless offers at each bar we drank at. In the day time we would go shopping, drink, beach, drink, get a tattoo, drink, and the odd tourist stuff like quad biking, travelling to neighbouring towns to see how the locals lived. And at night we would hit up the Thai nightclubs and karaoke bars. This was where I had the most fun. We would take some of Pak’s female friends along, drink, eat and dance in these clubs without a care in the world. Everyone was drunk and happy and the attention I got from the ladies in these clubs was nothing like I have ever experienced. They would all come up say hello and offer to buy me drinks. Pak was also very popular but he could communicate with the Thai girls, they would have a chat, a giggle and off they went. The girls would come to me talk some Thai to which I would always reply “Sorry, not Thai”. Pak’s females friends were always very protective of me for some reason I have no idea why, none were “my ladies” nor was I trying to take them home. Some girls were massage girls and some just friends of his. However, when other girls approached me they would get chased away with merely 3 or 4 Thai words from Pak’s friends. I didn’t care though as I was having the time of my life.

This routine was pretty much set on repeat for the time we stayed in Phuket. Pak then asked me if I wanted to go Bangkok, but he warned me that this was the city and I would probably handle 2 days max so if I wanted to go we would stay for a short time only. I was keen to try and do anything on offer, so we got our flights and headed to Bangkok.

We hopped off the plane and caught a taxi to our hotel called Le Fenix which was right across the road from Q Bar. We shared a hotel as we were not going to stay long, dropped our bags, had a shower and got changed. We went straight across the road to the Q Bar. I wasn’t feeling the best at this time and was trying to down all my drinks to get drunk. I couldn’t get drunk and so I said I was going back to the hotel to check my Facebook and not sure if I would be back. Pak was always ok at handling himself as he could speak the language and when I listened to him talk Thai to the females he was very good at it, so I was comfortable in leaving him on his own.

I went across the road back to the hotel and noticed they had a bar with a cute girl. I decided to have a drink there and talk to her. She could speak ok English and we had a good chat and would you know it, I got drunk. I went back to my room and I swear black and blue to this day that what I experienced in that room gives me chills to this day. That room was haunted or there was something there with me when I was on my laptop. I had seen shadows on the floor and thought maybe it was the TV. I turned off the TV off the air conditioner, turned off the laptop, closed the doors and curtains, and sat on my bed staring at these shadows which kept on running through the floors. I obviously freaked out and grabbed my key, my money and my shirt and left the room. I think it was about 1 AM and I was thinking where could I possibly go at this time in my shorts and a shirt? I saw a small massage parlour not too far away so I asked the lady if it was ok if I have a 3 hour massage. She said 400 baht per hour, and during the massage I talked to her and found out quite a lot about her life and her child. It was incredible how easy they tell you their story. I obviously explained to her about the hotel room and why I wanted 3 hours. I told her that I didn’t want to go back and she said I could stay there with her. I walked outside and there was a group of girls and about 2 Thai guys sitting around in a circle drinking. They pulled me to the floor and poured me a shot of whiskey and said something in Thai. The girl that gave me the massage said something in Thai and everyone looked at me in shock, “You not Thai?!” The boss lady said, “No, but swadee krap”, I replied with a wai. They all gave me a wai and asked me to stay and drink. I didn’t want to go to the hotel so I accepted and we all drank till the sun came up. I then pulled out some money from my pants for the alcohol before I left and they all yelled at me and said no. I then said ok here is money for the massage and the massage lady said no. What had just happened? Why am I not paying? I said I would come back and visit if I was ever in the area again and went on my way. (More on this in my second trip.)

I went back to the hotel, woke Pak, told him all about it and being a Thai Buddhist himself he believed every word. We then decided to go to Pattaya so once again we packed our things and asked the hotel reception for a taxi.

The taxi ride to Pattayya was extremely long, I think a bit over 2 hours, during which time I needed to go to the bathroom so bad. Pak was fast asleep and the taxi driver did not understand a word of English. Not to mention we were on some endless road without any toilet or petrol station signs in sight. In the taxi I started asking Pak about this barfine business, how it works and so on. He basically said if you like a girl then call her over, buy her a drink, get to know her a negotiate your price. I asked him how much is the going rate and he replied anywhere between 700 baht to 1500 baht should be the going rate. I said ok and I was keen to see how this barfine thing works.

We got to our hotel and unpacked, showered, changed and headed down to Walking Street. Pak took me for a walk all the way down Walking Street for the tour first and showed me around. We then decided to walk all the way back up and start our night of drinking. We went to a complex which was split into at least 20 bars which housed perhaps 15 girls each bar. We chose a bar sat down and ordered a drink, we had girls coming up straight away but not the girl I was interested in. I then asked one of the girls if she could call the girl I wanted over, she called her over and I offered to buy her a drink. I bought her a drink and tried to talk to her, but her English was not so good so I asked her if she wanted to come party with Pak and I tonight. She said she was barfined she could not go. I had a sad look on my face and turned to my left where sat a Filipino man who turned to me and said “Sorry, brother”. I laughed and said have a good night.

I then noticed another girl sitting in the corner on her phone the whole time, so I asked one of the girls to call her over (for the story we will call her B). I bought her a drink and talked to her for awhile and then asked her to leave to go disco with me (never negotiated price).

She came and we went to Lucifer and drank and drank and then went back to her bar before the night was out and drank some more. I was then pretty drunk and tired so I said to her “ok bye I go now”, to which she said with a sad look on her face “no, I want to come with you”. I shrugged and said ok. We then left and went to my hotel, I was quiet happy to shower and pass out, but she of course had other plans. We laid there and she said “you want boom boom?” I cracked up laughing, one thing lead to another and then she fell asleep in my arms. She woke up several times during the night to go bathroom as she was sick, poor thing must have drunk too much. When I asked her if she was ok she would always reply “yessssss, ok!!” and then nuzzle her nose into my neck and then pass out. I still have no idea what that was.

The next morning she pretty much slept the whole morning. I woke up early and went to talk to Pak in his room. We talked for a bit and he told me what he done that night, which turns out he took one of the girls from the same bar back, one of B’s friends. I went back to my room and woke B up and told her that her friend was next door. She got up and ran next door to see her friend, and they spoke in Thai whilst Pak and I stood there talking. All of a sudden B gets up, jumps on me and starts hitting, she punched me on the arm several times and then nuzzled her nose in my neck again. “Why you not tell me, I kill you!!!” she said, “Tell you what?” I replied. She started going off in Thai. Meanwhile my friend Pak was cracking up laughing hunched over holding his stomach laughing at me. I was confused as f$#% and looking at Pak asking for help. “What did she say Pak?” I said, he was still laughing his ass off to speak. B then turns around and says “Your friend! He is Thai! And you Thai too, why you not tell me?” “What?! I am Vietnam” I replied “Say something in Vietnam then” B said, “Pho Dac Biet” I replied (this is basically a beef noodle traditional Viet soup dish). Pak knew this and burst out laughing again. Now both girls notice this and now are both are hitting me. “Wait, wait I show you my passport ok? Born in Vietnam but am from Australia.” I showed them my passport and they both agreed that I am not Thai.

You see it turns out that Pak likes to pretend he cannot speak a word of Thai to see if the girls talk badly behind his / our back or not, as he was from Isaan he understands the Isaan dialect too. I went back to my room with B and took out 2000 baht and gave it to B and said is this ok? She said once again “yesssss, ok!!!!” and nuzzled. I said “Pak and I have stuff to do today but I might come to your bar again tonight”. She said yes and both her and her friend went and jumped on a bike and went home.

That night came and Pak and I went to eat and then went to drink in Soi 6 till 7 PM. I then said I am going to that bar to go have a chat to B. Pak said he was going to just hang out and have a drink at some bars. I went down to the bar and did not see B anywhere. I asked the other girls where she was and they all replied “She go with you last night I don’t know”. About 10 minutes later B came into the bar not even dressed up like the other girls. I asked her “what time you start?”, “5”, she replies “then why are you here at 7 and not dressed for work” I asked. She laughs and says “because I know you come and barfine me”. Cheeky thing I started laughing and said “nah not tonight I am busy sorry”. She hit me and went and got us both a drink. She took out that dice game and we played. The mamassan came over and she played with me too. She wanted to play for money though. She said “If I beat you, you give me 100 baht, if you beat me I give you 100 baht”. We played and I won, and she gave me 100 baht and by now the other girls have taken wind of this and all wanted in on my money. The mamassan put the 100 baht into my cup thing and smiled. I asked her if she wanted a drink and bought her one. I now had a crowd of the bargirls ignoring the other punters and wanting to play for 100 baht. I played another 2 girls and won both games. I now had 300 baht in the cup. B turns to me and says “Now I play, I win you pay barfine take me, if you win I buy you 2 drinks”. By now I was buying the girls drinks and they were all buying me drinks so I was drunk so I said I didn’t care. We played and I won, she got 2 Jager bombs and brought them over to me. I gave her one and we drank them both. I then gave her the 300 baht in the cup and said here I want to pay your barfine. She laughed, hit me and said ok. I took her to Candy Shop where Pak was drinking, we had some drinks and left back to the hotel.

The next morning was our last day. I woke B up and handed her all the notes I had left from the previous night which was about 3200 baht (I set my nights budget and don’t care what is spent so I gave her the rest). She gave me her mobile and Facebook and I added her. We said goodbye and left.

On the plane ride home I asked Pak what they said behind our backs, Pak said “all the girls in the bar thought we were good looking and wanted to take us”. I laughed and said I had lots of fun and thanks for the invite to Thailand. He said he was sad to leave again and he was not ready to leave.

When we got home I messaged B. This trip was made in May 2012 and today is Jan 2013. She has been messaging me almost every day now religiously, and we exchange messages for at least 2 hours, whilst she is at work she would message and whilst I am at work we message. Our time zones work out that when I am sleeping she is working (in the bar) and when she sleeps I am working. Yet she still sends me messages at 5 AM and we still exchange messages after she finishes work at her time, 4 AM, for at least 3 hours some days. There was one occasion she sent me the sick sister message and asked for money, but I really don’t believe in sending money off unless it were a direct family member or friend. Paying for services and tipping where services has excelled I believe highly in, however sending money to someone you have met for 2 days I cannot see myself doing. It was the one and only time she has asked for money and I have never sent her money. I don’t even know how if I tried. Only thing I am confused about is why is she still interested in messaging me when all I do is tease her (playfully). We never talk lovie dovie or talk of relationships. She called me teeruk early after when I got back home, but I told her I cannot love her and she has not said it since. If I ever message her and she is with a customer she will say “Sorry, Jay, now with customer, I talk to you later”.

This was my first Thailand experience and all in all I had a blast. We were not scammed, and everything worked out. I suppose if you don’t plan your trip then your plans cannot be ruined.

I am not in love with B and I am not falling in love. She knows this and she knows that I would never pursue her or a relationship where I would send her money to “get her out of the bar” although being Vietnamese with my mother constantly would send money back to her family in Vietnam. I can understand why B and other bargirls send money back home, perhaps not to the extent of building homes for them, but rather sending money back if they need a well for water, or a door for the house, or even a mattress to sleep on.

However I could not send money back in hopes that a girl I see only twice a year would be completely faithful to me as her partner. Heck, if I only saw my girlfriend twice a year I would hardly even consider her a girlfriend.

When I think about the time and effort she has invested into me for me not to send her any money, I cannot see how it is worth her while. It would be much better spent trying to get other sponsors to send her money.

Do playful non-relationship bargirls who are quiet happy just to chat really exist?

Kind regards


Stickman's thoughts:

Your experience as someone ethnically Vietnamese who grew up in the West and was then mistaken for a Thai is almost unique. You could exploit this again and again in Thailand to your advantage! And at the end of the day, most of the women would probably find your more attractive physically than they do Westerners. There are more fun times ahead for you if you choose to avail yourself of them…

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