Readers' Submissions

Keeping Their Options Open





This is the season of goodwill, of course, and I have to say that I am prepared to offer goodwill to most people most of the time. Life just seems better that way.


Sunday 23 December saw me in best ‘bah humbug’ mode in preparation for Xmas (I don’t care who you are, Fatty, get that bloody sledge off my roof!) when the doorbell rang. I saw a flash of red through the glass and thought it was yet another parcel delivery for my neighbours. It was, in fact, ‘my’ Filipina Princess, bearing a box of chocolates, asking me to meet her on Boxing Day (26 December) and declaring undying love. Her not impressive charms were on offer and I have little doubt that at least a quick knee trembler was on offer (let alone cleaning the house and cooking a meal). All was rejected (apart from the chocolates, which were very nice thank you very much). New boyfriend and disabled child (see submissions passim) were, apparently, waiting in the car around the corner.


Later the same day, I saw this story in the Cyprus Mail.


A Filipina housemaid was killed as she swept the pavement at 6:40 AM by a drunk Greek Cypriot driver. Never mind, the police will do their best to get him home for Xmas. I am only surprised that there has not been an interview with the employer pointing out just how inconvenient this is for them – this being the Xmas holiday and all.


I lived in Cyprus from 2005 – 2010 and had friends within the Filipina (and Filipino) community, my TGF, of course, and other friends from the third world. This is a rough generalisation, but most were treated like absolute shit. I don’t think many people would argue with that.


Reading this news story, and recalling just how badly some of my Filipina friends had been treated (and many still are) softened my stance a bit (not towards my Filipina Princess, don’t worry!) and I circulated the story on another, entirely unconnected message board. (I have offered, genuinely, to contribute to a fund – if established – for repatriation of the body and support of her family).


I gave a bit of background (she + knife = me + wound = she + police record = divorce) and mentioned that South-East Asian ladies seem to have a propensity for keeping open as many options as possible so that they can choose the most advantageous at any particular time.


The replies were illuminating, if only of the mental deficiencies of the correspondents. I was accused of being a paedophile (TGF was 29, Filipina Princess was 45), of taking advantage of poor third-world people (my bank records show just who took advantage of who) and so on.


Some respondents were keen to point out, of course, that
South-East Asian ladies were inherently disadvantaged and were perfectly entitled to play the ‘best option’ card. Well, perhaps they know more than me and have done more research than I have (I bet they haven’t read Stick’s site). I can only comment on my experience – and that tends to show that whoever you are, whatever you have to offer, however much have you have a ‘romantic’ commitment, you remain just ‘an option’.


This may, of course, be the same in dealings with western women. I don’t have enough experience (do any of us?) to offer a judgement.


This evening I had a long Skype chat with an old friend in Cyprus. He has lived there many years, just ‘scraping along the bottom’ and has had many contacts with people who may be not quite legal. He was friends, in particular, with a Filipina lady who was doing her best to find a way to bring her (deported) Bangladeshi boyfriend into the EU. She married a Romanian (paid for by a UK guy) in a sham marriage. Divorced him, met a UK guy (an occasional visitor), had a child with him, married him, and is now applying (at his expense) for a UK visa.


I can’t, of course, comment on the romantic involvement here. It may be true love (at last) for her. It may be true lust for him (and I wouldn’t blame him).


But I know for a fact that she is married in the Philippines and if there is one message worth repeating here for the benefit of readers, it’s this: THERE IS NO DIVORCE IN THE PHILIPPINES. Sorry, girls, you’re stuck with it. And guys, if she admits to having a kid – for your own peace of mind go on to the Philippines government website and for $20 get a copy of the birth certificate. It’ll show you all you need to know.


I have no objection to anyone keeping their options open – it’s a good strategy. Just please be aware, guys, that ladies keeping their options open may be seriously closing yours down.


(This submission is written from my own limited experience / knowledge and is subject to revision and / or comment from those who know better).




Stickman's thoughts:

Yep, they sure do keep their options open and are often in contact with others, all of which prevents any real bond from forming, or the bond that was there can be weakened – and then the relationship just slowly falls apart – all because she wanted to keep her options open. Sad.