Is The Dream Over
Sawadee Krupp Gentleman,
What follows bellow is my own story in the “Land of Smiles”.
Throughout you will see who I was when I first visited Thailand and who I became after my 5th or 6th long stay here. You will get to know some of the good and bad girls I've met during these stays and how a very happy man & love story can become sad if we don't strictly follow the advices in regards to attachment with the wrong women and what may happen to you when we break some of these “golden rules”.
I have to admit that I am also using this writing exercise as an aid to try to get joy back in my life, to help me reorganize my mind, spirit and my lifestyle here. Also as a precautionary measure to prevent things to get even worse.
As an introduction I can say that I love Thailand. I love Thai people, Thai food, the weather and the beaches. I am a sea man. So, I don't like only the Thai females! I can speak a little of the language, I have read perhaps all available books about Thailand and its stories from fiction such as “Private Dancer” to very elaborate studies on top of most of the submissions here, of course. In addition I am Buddhist. I have studied the philosophy deeply for a long time and I understand the core Buddhist principles such as detachment, how to deal with pain, loss, etc, and this is perhaps one (if not the main) reason why I so easily understand how the people think and can navigate quite comfortably here with them.
Another important piece of information about my background is that in spite of being originally from Italy, I.e. spent most of my youth in Brazil where very attractive hookers are also easily available. Not in the same way as in Thailand but let's say always available. Also, in spite of having girlfriends, heaps of friends with benefits or any of my three real wives, I have used their services practically throughout my entire life.
I placed this last bit of information to make clear that I know what a prostitute is. I know what they do for living and know how to deal with them. And this “knowledge” has been successfully applied almost on a daily basis, for almost 45 years now.
The first time I came to Thailand back in September 2009 was really by chance. I had been working in Australia for the previous 3 years and because of a very strong winter that I could hardly stand combined with two weeks’ vacation it was suggested by friends for me to come to Thailand.
It was a sort of last minute decision and honestly, I didn't have a clue of what to expect. I landed in Phuket without almost any information whatsoever about the land I was coming in. The tropical warm climate similar to Brazil combined with the smiles of the airport taxi drivers on my arrival however showed me that I was in a good place.
I arrived around 6 PM and was taken straight to my 4-star beachfront hotel. After showering and a meal at the hotel I found out that I was walking distance to the city's nightlife entertainment center, Bangla Road.
Boys, this was THE TIME OF MY LIFE! Even coming from another tropical country with very attractive women such as Brazil I have simply never seen so many beautiful, smiling, available girls together. It was a shock for me and a sensation I simply cannot describe. I was like a bee who had found an unlimited stock of honey! I went to all those beer bars and bought tons of lady drinks, f@#$ed them all one by one and also all of them together. Then another bar, same thing, and so on, and so on. I was soooooo happy! Hundreds of pictures taken with all these bar girls, joining big parties, mid-size parties, small parties, parties only for two (or three). It was all a party! Everywhere, every day, all the time!
Needless to say, in spite of 3 or 4 aqua based pre-arranged tours I did not get to know anything outside of Bangla Road! And I definitely don't regret a minute or a single baht I spent there.
Well, back to the boring Australia with telephone numbers of some of those amazing Thai girls and I started to make plans for my next trip to The Land of Smiles!
It did not take too long and in March 2010 I was back for another two-week holiday at Bangla Road! By this time I had my favorite girl from my first trip and together with her we organized a trip to Krabi for 2 days and also a stay in Bangkok for another 3 days. She was an excellent companion, spoke good English and really helped me finding my ways throughout this mysterious new land, on top of delivering outstanding sex every night. She told me her name was “Phuen” which I found out, long after we lost contact completely when studying the Thai language it means “friend”.
I knew she was a working girl, I was paying her for her job, but as has happened similarly in Brazil many times before (during naughty trips with groups of hookers) I didn't feel anything bad about it, but the opposite. I was having a sexy and pleasant female guide and companion to be with me in all my new discoveries. Again, I was happy, very happy with her and with my life. We were very good friends and throughout these trips we talked about pretty much everything. We dined in different restaurants, went to shows and for the second time, I had THE TIME OF MY LIFE!
Back to Australia and obviously planning my new trip to Thailand I decided that for this time I would get to know the rest of the country. So I organized a well planned travel itinerary which included Kho Samui, Kho Samet, Kho Chang, Pattaya, Bangkok, Hua Hin, Chang Mai and then back to Phuket and to my beloved old friends. In some of these places I also made the arrangements to meet my greatest friend in Thailand, Phuen. In other parts of the trip I obviously slept with as many smiling girls as I could and they were with no exception friendly, caring, good company on top of being real goddesses in bed. Hooo man! Now I finally fell in love with this country. I had the real sensation that I had found “Paradise”! I was seriously regretting every single year of my life spent somewhere else and as you can see for the third time I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!
After this third trip, my plans were to find a way of working and moving permanently to Thailand, and I decided that Phuket would be my place of choice.
Working in the hotel industry, from Australia I started sending my CVs to hotels in Phuket but without a single answer! Having quite good work experience and knowing that the hospitality industry has a very high turnover rate I realized that something was wrong. The next step was therefore to make an excuse in my current job and ask 60 days off to solve some family problems…and fly to Phuket.
I was looking for long term accommodation and I managed to find a great 2-bedroom Farang-style apartment. It had almost 130 m2 of living area including two A/C rooms, two separate bathrooms with spa, a fully furnished kitchen, a large living room with a nice balcony facing the Bay of Patong. It also had internet 24/7 to send my CV out. I was ready!
Folks, at that place I had the orgies of my life! No kidding, many times throughout the afternoon there were 7 or 8 girls cooking BBQ. completely naked and drinking their heads off while I was in the bedroom f@#$ing them, one by one, with the only allowed pause to take a shower, change the condom and fill up my drink.
I was the stallion MALE and they were the females. Somehow they completely understood this concept, acted naturally and accordingly without any sign of jealousy. The situation is definitely very rare to find, even among the most professional hookers in Brazil!
By this time for some mysterious reasons I cannot remember if I had completely lost contact with my first great friend in Thailand “Phuen”, and to replace her I found Nong.
Nong was a young girl of around her 25 years old but she was “different”. Yes boys, today with my experience with Thai girls I can positively say that Nong was “different” (Ok! same-same but different) to the other bargirls. Besides clocking–in / clocking-out religiously at her “almost death” outside mainstream working bar night after night, she also worked during the day doing detailed gold handcraft stuff and had very serious contracts, commitments and deadlines. She had her business cards and everything else. On top of that, as a second job she used to dance at a gogo bar in Bangla Road after her regular bar shuts but immediately after waking up, this girl used to call me asking me if I wanted to enjoy the beach with her. This girl was the one who took me to the Big Buddha, to Wat Chalong and kindly introduced me to all the religious stuff in Thailand I know now. What most impressed me about her however was her joy of life. This girl was always happy and smiling no matter how hard her life was! She was an orphan, without a mother or father, siblings or any other close relatives. She had only a very distant old aunt in the provinces and she regularly spoke about visiting her with me.
The most notorious case about Nong was the day I was waiting for her at the far northern end of Kamala beach and she took more than two hours to arrive. After a sort of argument between us where she did not want to talk much about it, Thai style, she was even more caring than usual. We went into the sea many times, had some drinks and spent a very pleasant afternoon together as usual. When it was time to leave I asked her where her motorbike was parked. Only then she told me her hard earned motorbike had been stolen the previous night and she had come from Patong to Kamala on foot (and believe me, it is a long way!) That was the real reason why she took so long to arrive. I asked her why she didn't tell me this before, even by phone on the many times I called her! Her answer: Because I have only a few days left and she didn't want to spoil my day.
Another strong memory I have about this girl was the night she was ill. I called her as usual and she said she had a bad flu, could not go to work and if I didn't mind she would like to stay with me that night. Obviously I agreed and I picked her up. She was really unwell, with a high fever and coughing all the time. She wasn't able to sleep throughout the night so I took from my medicine stock a very small sleeping pill and I gave her half. Looking at the small size of the medicine she asked me why it was so small. I told her that it was very strong medicine and just that little bit would be more than enough to make a girl of her weigh sleep for the next 12 hours. She than asked me what would happen if she takes the whole pill and I replied that it would bring the risk of her heart and other organs stopping and she could die. Realizing that I had a few extra pills left she looked right inside my eyes and politely asked me if I could then give her two pills. This was the only the time I ever saw her being serious and not smiling.
Naturally the departure day arrived for me and Nong was the last person I saw in Thailand in that particular stay. When I came back, even though I had her number I did look for her. Why? I don't know.
Anyway. The point here is that as you can see, so far I did not have any emotional attachment and as a result, for the fourth time I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!
To make the working in Thailand story short the biggest barrier I found was that I didn't speak the language and the second one was the low salaries offered. In fact I received one single offer of 22,000 baht / month to work 10 hours per day 6 days a week which I kindly declined once it would not even pay the rent, let alone cover the orgies.
As a consequence of looking through the employment ads I found a very suitable and well paid job on a cruise ship and the most interesting part was that the contracts were for 4 months on followed by 2 months off. I went for my first contract and after 4 months I was back in Phuket for my fifth long stay!
What happened on this fifth long stay is that I got emotionally involved with a mix of good / bad girl and the full story can be read on my past article called Another Good One About Thai Good Girls! published on 13/06/2012.
The main thing about this particular girl I think was the way she liked to sleep with me. Absolutely clutched me, always! And when she missed me during the night she used to came desperately and clutch me again as I was her life buoy and her most valuable asset. And only then, fall asleep again peacefully like the most unconcerned baby on this earth. Note that even though I had three real marriages with western women before, I have never seen anything even close to this. It was so different and such a good sensation that I firmly believe, I will never forget it.
Some of the additional consequences of this emotional attachment however are:
1- It has led me to get aggressive.
2- It has led me to do bad things to women I would never imagine doing before with the imaginable consequent psychological damage to myself and likely for them.
3- It has had a negative impact on my productivity at work and somehow I believe prevented me from developing a new relationship with another regular woman while on board.
4- I admit it has opened a big breach on my emotional protection barriers against these women.
5- It made me feel sad most of the day and even losing the interest of going out to meet other women.
6- It prevents me to fully enjoy my further vacations in Thailand as a happy single “big butterfly” man as I always did.
– And what was the worst: During my sixth long stay I found myself often and “automatically” looking for the same type of love, in that same Bangla Road environment!
As a result it did happen during my first or second week here when I was missing her and feeling lonely in Paradise. The full story about this second emotional attachment with a working woman can be found on another recently published article called “My story with a 10+ Freelancer.
As I said at the beginning, I know exactly what a working girl is and I know I shouldn't got attached to any of them, but what to do now? How to get rid of those memories and sensations that are now in my blood stream as poison and to get back to my old happy days, when a bar girl was simply a bar girl and only an amazing source of endless fun for everyone?
When you're in deep, it's a long way to crawl out…