I'm a man and I wish I'd read this in high school. If I had my life would have been so much more successful than it is now.
1: For five years ex-my wife refused to have sex with me. An ordinary man would have left or cheated the first year but I loved her and stayed.
I tried many times to resolve the matter and she just deflected. To this day I don't know if it was rape, an STD, or if she was punishing me for not getting a big house that she wanted. This was during the height of the housing problem. I told her that it would take two incomes to get a house in California. I didn't know about her student loan debt and when I was in the military she would spend every check that came in. After a 6-month deployment there was less than 400 dollars in the bank. so effectively I was making 800 a year. I asked her what happened to the money that should have been left after the bills and a "reasonable" amount of spending. Her response was "I can't remember what I did with it". No accountability!
2. My mother wanted to get a condo and of course. She had bad credit. We had a long talk about how she would be able to pay the mortgage money to me and she said she could handle it. I got the condo for her. Months later she started slipping on the payments. My income had to supplement the mortgage payments as everything was in my name. 6 years later I had spent over 24k in my money on her condo. She did not keep her promise to pay me back. She did not honor our agreement. I simply walked away from the situation and the condo was foreclosed on.
3. My sister was going to college and needed a car. I bought one at auction, had it fixed and checked out by a mechanic and delivered to her. It didn't cost her one dime. All she did was complain about how she didn't like it with not one word of thanks. She sold it.
4. A female friend of mine of 3 years was having serious financial problems and had been kicked out of her home with her three kids. They were living in a car. She asked me for money and I told her that it wasn't a gift – she would have to pay me back. I told her to set the date for payback and she chose march 2012. I gave her about 10k to get her life straight and had her sign a promissory note. To me this was the greatest level of respect to show a woman; taking her on her word and not taking advantage of the situation and trying to turn it into a sex for money situation. When it came time to pay up she vanished and stopped taking my calls. If she needed more time all she had to do was call me and talk it out. But she ran away from her responsibilities. Months later I learned that she spent the money that was to be used for paying me back; she had spent about 8K in one week! Then she hooked up with a man who would provide her with a place for her and her kids to stay. That man raped her daughter. All the while she was saying bad things about me trying to "cash her out" for sex and how she was a victim. since when do victims get free money? I know I won't get that money back but I've filed a case to take her to court. I just want to call her out and look into her eyes.
5. From time to time I went to a restaurant and had a Sunday dinner. This went on for months. There was a usual woman that served me. Nothing unusual happened between us until one day… She started telling me how attractive she thought I was and how she didn't like to wear underwear, how her husband had gained too much weight and was laid off and didn't take care of the family. This was a drastic change from the woman who served me prior (the same woman). She gave me her phone number and asked me to call her. I toyed with the idea but didn't really jump on the situation. However, when I stopped by for dinner or conversations became more erotic in nature, she showed no offense to that. Or to me giving her a massage and rubbing myself against her during her break time. Then one day I came into the place, at a time when I knew she wouldn't be in there, to have lunch. a manager came to me and told me that I needed to stop making sexual innuendos to the server. I didn't challenge him. I just told him that I would finish my meal, pay and never return to that place. In my hand was my cell phone with a message from her stating "I really wish you were here with me right now. I want to spend some time with you". If I had just showed the manager the text message she sent me there was good chance she could have been fired, but I didn't do it. I just let it go.
It took me so long to understand that a woman's priorities are 1. Her quality of life. 2. Her children. 3. Love. And always in that order.