The Big Return
Hello all! Ciderheadbrit here, back again. Doing what I do best – or worst. Chatting about me and Thailand. Pattaya city. The land of smiles. The land of scams. The place where anything can happen – and usually does.
It's been a while since I was there, been away for more than two years – physically anyway, I don't think I ever really leave. It's always thought about and talked about. No Thai Airways or Eva Air flights for me though. None of those eventful taxi rides. No chilling out in soi 7. No Walking Street adventures. No gogo bars or the madness that comes with it. No crazy bargirls. No welcome handsome man, where you go, I go with you. No Arabs trying to sell me a suit… Wait, that's actually a plus! It's not paradise and it sure ain't perfect, but I couldn't miss it more!!
Some of you may remember a few submissions posted a while ago. I love my time in Thailand and I also have a good life back in England. My problem is I can't have them both.
It get's complicated when I return home. I always think I'm going to save up and head straight back but always end up meeting a new girl, getting attached and putting myself in a difficult position. This has happened after every trip and even though it's great initially, it is frankly a right pain!
While I am here I'd like to throw my hat into the ring on the debate about western women. They have got a lot abuse recently and are as good as dead to many on the Stick express these days. But it's really all about personal experiences. Where I live in England and everywhere else in this country I have been, there are thousands of beautiful women everyday, every time I'm out, wherever I am, that are as good as any around the world. I have lots friends and friends of friends and so on that couldn't be happier with their woman. Sure, there are stuck up ones and a few with a bit too much winter weight like anywhere else but they're not all bad. Everyone has problems and some people seem to attract all the rubbish but there are plenty that are good and social and available. As there is in Thailand for that matter of my experience and friends experience. So try harder, don't paint all these girls with the same brush and give them a chance!
Anyway where was I…
Before my last trip in June, 2010, I had left 4 girls behind in 3 years. 3 of them knew I was going away from the start, but it didn't stop us building up a strong relationship each time that was rather difficult letting go of.
It's an issue I think most that holiday regularly in Thailand will experience unless they stay single back in the west of course. But how to deal with it? Hmm.
After that last trip the inevitable happened. I met another girl and got into a new relationship, yet I behaved quite differently. I had a different plan this time, you see. This next trip wasn't going to be just a holiday. I was going for a long time. I was thinking 6 months, visas permitted. So I was saving big time, and had to remain at home for longer than usual.
I was very casual with this one and always kept one foot out the door. It was 6 months before I even let her call me her boyfriend. She tried so hard to get me and would do anything for me. She is a great girl. Very smart and beautiful but also very kind and generous. Loved by everyone, I could see I would have a problem straight away. But I didn't run away, I fell for her.
The big plan went out the window and I decided that I would make a go of it with her in England. Sure it would be a great 6 months in Thailand, but to blow this one off for a holiday just seemed foolish. I'd come back in 6 months and would be starting from scratch yet again. This could be the one. I settled down properly for the first time since I left my wife in 2008, so to speak anyway. I have a bit of a wild streak in me. I'm reckless, irresponsible, push the boundaries and don't do things by halves. I have my own interests and they're not for everybody. I spend a lot of money on my lifestyle. I chuck money about left, right and centre. I don't sit still, I'm out a lot. I drink, I gamble, I stay out late and have as much fun as I can. That's what I do. That's why a place like Pattaya suits me. It has all I need.
I didn't make our relationship easy, and it put a strain on things, me being how I am and her being well… think of a 'good' Thai girl. How they are perceived to be. I encouraged her to pursue her own interests. She's a much more outgoing person now. She plays netball, goes to spin classes, zumba classes, and so on. She has a great social life and I'm happy for her. The problem is in the last 6 months we have really drifted apart. I am still with her now but things are not progressing and I can no longer see the future there might have been before. On the other side, my life has really changed for the better. Financially I'm sound (yes, even with the reckless way I live my life). I'm happy in myself and on Xmas Eve I will be leaving my job with a very generous redundancy package. I plan to have 12 months off which gives me a world of possibilities.
Thailand? I think so.
I think this is what I needed. A fresh start? I knew this was going to be the case in regards to my job along time ago so a lot of thought has gone into it, and with the relationship not going to plan my decision appears to have been made. I'm not in a bad place, I'm at peace with myself and will wish her all the best of course. But we shall be moving in different directions from now. In a way I'd liken myself to being in a dead end marriage like many of my fellow readers have described. It's not me, it's not what I want and feel the time is right to make a break for it. Everyone should be happy and you should do what it takes to make that happen. Don't settle. Personally, and I've thought a great deal about this, I don't think I will be settling down again. I really think I'm not the type. I like fun and freedom and the two don't go together. I don't cheat, never have and I always try to be up front about everything so not to hurt or confuse anyone.
So the plan? Have an amazing Xmas and new year with friends and family, and head off next year. I have a friend spending 6 months in Asia travelling round from February so I shall be linking up with him when he lands in Bangkok. I also have my old regular travelling friends to hook up with in the spring time that they are already booked up for so things are looking sweet. Lots of things to look forward to.
I have wanted to do this for a very long time and it is finally going to be a reality. Exciting times.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Until next time…
Good luck and I hope 2013 goes well for you!