Readers' Submissions

Thailand Trip Report 1 of 4

  • Written by Anonymous
  • December 29th, 2012
  • 9 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok



The plane trip from California feels like I have been traveling for days. No sleep on the plane, the journey feeling like a prison sentence. But there is no way my spirits can be dampened as I am about to spend 16 days in Thailand on a solo adventure. It has been 4 years since my last trip to the land of smiles and while I have been here a half dozen times before I have the excitement level of a little kid just hours before Christmas!

The thick accent of an EVA Airways pilot comes on the speaker, "Ladies and Gentlemen we are now about to begin our decent into Bangkok." Woohoo! I had booked at the last minute on EVA Airways, $1500 in coach. My long journey about to be behind me, I pull up the shade and see the sun-filled lush landscape of the greatest place on earth, Thailand!

We disembark and I am greeted by the most insane Immigration line I have ever seen. Woah!, it wasn't like this 4 years ago… Actually I remind myself 4 years ago I was forced to land in Pattaya because the yellow shirts had taken over the airport in Bangkok, so what the hell do I know. Regardless, the line moves quickly. After 20 – 30 minutes I am through the line. I grab my luggage and go and find the driver I had arranged with my hotel. This trip I decided to stay in all new hotels that I had never stayed at before. I begin my journey in Bangok for just a couple of days then Phuket for 5 days, Pattaya for 5 days and then back in Bangkok for 4.

The car races down the highway towards Sukhumvit and the Dawin Hotel. My motto this trip is go big or go home! I had booked a rooftop suite at the Dawin. The hotel is a boutique hotel located on soi 4 just barely within stumbling distance of Nana Entertainment Plaza. The room is awesome and for 3,800 baht a night one would think so. I have a huge balcony, the size of an entire hotel room in New York that overlooks Soi 4. Perfect, I think.

I have had basically no sleep in 2 days but the adrenaline is pumping and I am not wasting a single second. After a quick shower I head out the door with sex on my mind. First stop is Annie's bar for a some Tom Yum Goong and a beer. Then I pop next door to Annie's Soapy massage. It's only 3 PM so choices for naughtiness are more limited. I climb the stairs to Annie's. "Hello hello, come and take a look" and I am rushed right to the fish bowl where 5 or 6 ladies are rushed in. Not much of a selection but it is the end of a shift before the night shift I guess. I pick number 17. She's slim, young and super pretty. Buy her a drink and myself a beer. 2,800 baht for everything. We don't talk about sex on Stickman but I want to mention that when they take you to the bath, watch your step! They put down this foam like floor-liner and I smashed my toe so bad I thought I broke it. I quickly forgot about this little hiccup for obvious reasons. The session was great. The girl friendly and attentive. There was no rush at all. I was ready to go before she was I think.

Memories from previous trips get me feeling a bit sentimental about this or that bar. That fat girl named Apple I played connect four with etc. I soon find that after 4 years almost all the staff have changed at almost every bar I go to. From Annie's I walk over to the front of Nana for one of the people watching bars. I go to the bar that is the first one on the right as you come in, Zen Bar. There 2 hot girls and a mamason are more than ready to be bought lady drinks, play connect four etc. I think about all the readers' submissions about being pressured to buy lady drinks. But I feel happy to buy them. I'm in Thailand where a $4 drink gets me fun company. I connect with one of the girls and let her know I will be back later.

I trade a few grand worth of dollars in for baht at an exchange place I usually go to. 30.26 baht to the dollar is not bad. After some dinner I am back at the bar in front of Nana. We start doing shots. It's too early for gogo bars still and I am starting to run out of gas. So I make the call to take the girl that I had been buying drinks for all day. Back to the hotel for an awesome session (2,000 baht, I know too much but screw it). When we finish I can barely move and I can't keep my eyes open. We had talked about going dancing but now it's clear to me that there is no way in hell I can pull that off. I pay her and send her on her way. As sleep over takes me I think I have been in Thailand 8 hours and have been laid twice. It's a good start. It's 9 PM and sleep overcomes me.

I'm awake at 5 AM the next morning. This will be my only full day in Bangkok. Tomorrow I head to Phuket. Today needs to be epic. I need to do things they don't even have names for yet! So far the Dawin has impressed me so now I head down to try their breakfast. Except for the scrambled eggs I am pretty underwhelmed. I eat it but well, yuk! Where is my Nana Hotel buffet? It's only 8 AM….what the hell do you do at 8 AM in Bangkok? I start walking. I walk down to Soi 11 and decide to take a look at the dance club locations and get my bearings. As I walk down the soi I see a beauty shop. Never had a petticure before but my toe nails need trimming. I go in and get a facial, a pedicure and a foot rub. Very relaxing.

It's still so early. On previous trips I already did all the standard touristy stuff so geez, what the hell do I do? I decide to play some pool at Stumble Inn. Standard stuff and I lose. I drink…then I remember one of the advertisements from Stick's site for EZ Massage which opens at 11! Like a moron, rather than taking the skytrain I decide to walk. Man, don't ever do that! The sky train from Nana to Soi Cowboy is 1 stop and to EZ Massage it's 2 stops. By the time I arrive I am a sweaty, disgusting mess. From the EZ Massage website I had several girls I wanted to try. None of the ones I want are there. It's a Monday and it's early in the day. What do I expect I guess. I end up taking a honey for a couple of hours. She is funny and awesome in the ways you would hope.

Rejuvenated again I return to Nana, this time by skytrain. I eat and then I nap for 4 hours. Then on to Soi Cowboy, kicking myself for going with a bargirl who can see everyone who enters and leaves Nana. Not that I owe her anything but I should have thought about things a bit more the day before. The Nana bargirl had said she wanted to go dancing tonight and I said I would do that. I know, I know, never get the same girl twice but she was fun and I really wanted company to hit the clubs. That's not hard to find so not sure what I was thinking. Anyway on to Soi Cowboy. I go into Dollhouse. Great looking women for the most part. I give one girl the eye. When she finishes dancing she sits down and I offer her a drink. "Can we go upstairs so it's less noisy", I suggest. We head up. Ohhhhhhhh. Everyone is dancing completely naked upstairs and it is louder than downstairs. Oh well. I am really not in the mood to mess around. I need to meet the other bargirl at 11 and it is already 8:30. I need to barfine and move on. I ask her how much for short time. She looks embarrassed. Finally a server explains she in on her period. God dammit! Well you know what? Then everyone is drinking tequila. I buy 5 or 6 shots for the folks around and then leave. I head down the soi and go into…man, what was the name of that place? They wear like airline uniforms sort of….coyotes outside.

I head in and buy 20 Tequila shots and get the entire place fired up. With 10 girls around I try and see who has the best combination of English, hot body, beauty, fun, friendly. One girl totally stands out and I barfine her right away. It's before 9 PM so the barfine is 900 baht. It's posted on the wall so not a scam. Screw it I think and pay it. This girl is for sure the hottest thing I have had since I landed. Awesome session (2,000 baht) and I usher her out so I can go dancing with the Nana girl. I arrive 30 minutes late but I kept my word and showed up. 600 baht barfine and off we go. Still an expensive barfine I think for a bargirl. Maybe not and I seriously do not care.

We grab a taxi and head to Climax. As I get out she says, "Don't pay, he gets commission to bring you here." So we arrive and I just get out. The driver looks a little pissed but oh well…that driver bringing you places for commission thing just somehow worked in my favor! Climax on a Monday night has an 8-piece band playing US hits and Thai songs. Many are requests. It's early by Bangkok club standards but the place is filled with farangs and Thai ladies. The band finishes and a DJ takes over. My girl ends up being a better dancer than any coyote dancer I have ever seen. We dance and get drunk and go back to my hotel for another session. This time it's just ok. I find myself wishing I could somehow tell her to leave without being rude. Oh well, I fall asleep…all my valuables safely in a the safe. In the morning the questions start. You have girlfriend? Where you go? Where you stay? When you come back to Bangkok? You go with other lady…etc..etc.. Everything was fine…but seriously 1 shot per girl. Never twice.

As I sit here now typing this I have 30 minutes before a car drives me to Don Muang for five days in Phuket. I feel like I slaughtered Bangkok. 4 girls / 5 lays in 36 hours. That's decent. I didn't do any threesome of anything to get the body count up more. I'll fix that in Phuket I think.

I'll send my next report after I have completed a five day Phuket Rampage.

Cheers!




Stickman's thoughts:

You didn't manage to do things in Bangkok that they have no name for yet…