Thai Girlfriend Troubles

I have a huge problem in my life and was wanting some advice from a few people in the know, firstly I would like to say I am 29 years old and from nz, and I think I have fallen in love with a massage girl, and I need some help and advice. In May this year I travelled with my kiwi girlfriend of 10 years to Thailand for the 3rd time , it was to be our last ever trip to Thailand as we had been for the last 3 years. Now when we arrived at patong in phuket I thought I would go get a massage, just like previous years. I went out a few nights by myself and got a few different girls and that was all good, nothing out of the normal. I was out one night and a girl that I had liked the previous night was busy and I didn’t want to wait… I was a bit pissed off because she was busy and I looked around at some of the other girls at the same shop and one in particular caught my eye, she was simply stunning. So naturally I just picked her, now this is where I got myself into trouble, I think I was so overwhelmed by her I couldn’t contain myself, I had my oil massage (and the rest) and went back to the hotel. Now I just couldn’t get this particular girl out of my head everyday I would think about her while I was with my kiwi girlfriend in the pool and every night I would go see her and get an oil massage – I was on holiday after all… This lasted about 10 more days and I saw her almost every night. I even payed for her and her best friend to give me a oil massage hehehe.. Now on my last night she gave me her number, and I put it in my phone, ok so this is where it all starts, for 3 months she would txt me everyday , video call me often and just txt me all the time, I really thought she liked me. So I decided because I couldn’t get her out of my head I would go back to Thailand again in august and to see her i also took my kiwi girlfriend who knew about her , but I don’t think she understood how I felt about my thai girlfriend. When I turned up I was very excited to see her as it had been a long time and I could tell she was very happy. Now this is where I gets very interesting my thai girlfriend rings me up in the middle of the night and asks me to go out with her, I say ok and leave my kiwi girlfriend, which didn’t go down to well so I leave my kiwi girlfriend for my thai girlfriend, big mistake. My kiwi girlfriend decided to go home – fair enough so I pay for her to go home. I spend the next few days with my thai girlfriend she shows me around phuket on her scooter , which was cool. I had a good time with her, but like anything it always comes to an end, so I go home and face the dramas that I had created, in a few short words I now have broken up with my kiwi girlfriend and want to now be with my thai girlfriend , so I decided to go back over again in oct to try and get her a visa. Now this is where it gets really interesting ive noticed she doesn’t txt me everyday now and never video calls me, is it because she has gone off me , anyway she seems different she starts asking me for money, and jewellery – this could be normal as when you meet someone you do normally buy them gifts, but I am a thinking we are still not a normal boyfriend girlfriend as we live in different countries after all. She spends a few days with me , I don’t pay her for her time but a couple of times I did pay her boss (barfine) when she went to work so she could have the day off, probably all Normal stuff really I have a good time I come back to new Zealand again, then I come back to new Zealand and she says I owe her money, I didn’t know what for at the time so I just left it, but I still couldn’t get her out of my head.. She wouldn’t speak to me and I needed a couple more things for a visa and she wasn’t doing what I ask over the phone so I decided at the drop of a hat, I was going back again and went back 3 days later. To sort out this visa for her. I arrived at her massage shop and her and her friends I think were in disbelief , they all know who I am I think they just cant believe I keep coming back for her, they giggle and talk thai amongst themselves tell me I have big money, ask me if I have any friends for them etc , etc. anyway my thai girlfriend finally takes me back to her room, which I had wanted to see for months, I go there and it was exactly what I expected, very cool, but under her pillow was a picture of another guy – really I think this broke me, anyway she keeps saying to me now she only wants man who can look after her, okay so you think that would be me right? I go back to Thailand 3 times in 3 months just for her, I must be alright right? No she tells me she needs 25000 baht to send home to her family every month , plus she needs to pay for her room when she comes to new Zealand, the room is understandable she has more clothes then I have ever seen, ok so the room is 5000 baht a month, I think its fair I pay for that , its not much. But 25000 for her family, a mother and child ? that seems like a hell of a lot? I am left wondering while I can pay all this no problem how in the hell can she pay all this?? On her wage, now I know a few things about what goes on in these massage places, i hate to think everyday my girlfriend is in there with other men, I cant handle in in fact but how in the hell does she get that sort of money when you think about it she needs 30000 baht a month just to live and pay her family not to mention money to eat , scooter, phone etc etc it just doesn’t add up right? I know she does have other boyfriends , she has shown me now on her phone , maybe because she trusts me I don’t know, these other boyfriends might send her money so I just leave it and hope that she spends their money and makes her life better, I just don’t think her boyfriends will be back to claim their prize soon, hopefully not anyway.. Anyway im just thinking now she really wants money from me and I wonder if I should be helping her out or not, I do care about her but I wish she could just be with me and that’s it, – I guess that would mean paying her more money but can I ever really trust her? , anyway what are your thoughts about if I should bring her to new Zealand or has she just played me the whole time? It just seems like now shes not in to me like she was 5 months ago when I first met her is that because I just have not payed her or because she has just played me, sometimes I don’t even think she cares about this visa only money, what do you think? Also I would like to point out that I have been with other girls on my holidays because I have wanted to try and fix myself but its like no one measures up to this one girl, maybe I just havnt found the right one.

Any advice would be helpful.

Stickman's thoughts:

I feel sorry for your Kiwi girlfriend being treated like that.

Obviously this woman in Phuket *was* interested in you for your money but it would seem she has other options too. Forget her.

* I was recently told that I don't do enough editing of submissions and was accused of failing to edit and improve a submission. This submission has deliberately not been edited so readers can see what some subs look like when they first come in!