Stickman Readers' Submissions December 4th, 2012

More Thoughts on America and Thailand



I am sure some of you have read a recent posting comparing Thailand and America, with America getting quite a dressing-down from the author. As I consider myself a proud American and a defender of reason, I am going to surprise some of my readers by saying up-front that I agree with this article and the many true statements in it. America today is governed by "PC Bullshit" such that "free speech is a myth". How true. If it wasn't for Fox News and Rupert Murdoch, how would the world ever know that Obama is really a Kenyan, smuggled into America to destroy what was once a great nation. Obama has done his work well.


It's obvious the results of the recent election in America have spurred much of the hate in this article. But who can blame the author? The article states quite rightly, that American voters, many of whom live in the cities and are therefore "human filth", have really screwed things up. How could anyone have voted for that Kenyan who sits in White House, sucking his watermelon, and leering at all the young female interns? Yes, the 200 year old American experiment in democracy is finally over. It's time for a new system, one where only the people I like are elected to office. I am sure if my party had only a few hundred million dollars more for advertisements and lobbyists, we would have trounced Obama and restored America back to its former greatness.

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I wholeheartedly agree that government regulation is killing my country. The Environmental Protection Agency, that forces their draconian mandates on honest businesses like BP, is supposedly trying to ensure a clean environment for all Americans. But why can't America be more like Thailand, where raw sewage routinely cascades into rivers and streams. Has it hurt the Thai people or fishes or riverbanks? Of course not! Rivers are the most vibrant part of Thailand. Thai people continue to eat their fish and even swim in these waters. Sure, they can't drink from these waters, but America follow Thailand's lead that if they want to drink clean water, they should use bottled water. Native water is for irrigation, water buffalo bathing, and Songkran splashes. Why does America consider itself so privileged that they need clean water? These laws are killing business and jobs, don't you see that?


Indeed, as the article so succinctly states, the only good government agency is the one that doesn't exist. The exceptions, of course, are the agencies regarding defense of the country. As the world consists of such dangerous elements as Al Qaeda, Iran, France, and the Dalai Lama, it is perfectly reasonable that the American government should spend huge sums of money for our defense. After that, no other agency is needed; Education, State, Treasury, or Energy. Even the Department of Justice, which includes the FBI, should be deposed of as public nuisances. The one exception that I think even our author would approve is the civilian Veterans Administration, responsible for sending out all those checks to retired veterans and providing them with free medical care. Oh yeah, and the civilian agencies that provide reduced priced goods in the worldwide Exchanges; they can stay, too.


Government interference in the daily lives of honest citizens is no more apparent than in the arcane laws of driving in this Peoples Republic of America. Laws against speeding, drunk driving, and texting; are just so much bullshit used to repress the rights of a free people. Why can't we just get on the road in whatever vehicle we desire and drive to our destination in way that suits our mood? I completely agree with the author that driving on the mostly unregulated highways of Thailand is much more fun and exciting than America. Having done a fair bit of the former, I can tell you there is nothing so thrilling as approaching a blind curve on a two lane highway, and wondering if you will meet two side-by-side trucks speeding towards you. Or the odd scooter who pulls in front of you as you try to pass them. No worries, as many of Stick's commentators have written, if you are in an accident, there are no bullshit procedures to deal with like in America. Let's say a scooter ran a red light and you tapped it as you legally entered the intersection. Just drive your car to the nearest police station, turn yourself in, and relax for a few days at their facility. At the trial, admit you are a farang, open your wallet, and let the judge pull out as much money as he deems necessary. Easy-squeezy. No lawyers, no due process of law or rules of evidence. In and out of the courtroom in less than 2 hours with the knowledge you have been able to provide a poor rice farmer free whiskey and som tam to his extended family for a few weeks. What a total waste of effort the American system of justice is compared to Thailand.


Another thing America does poorly is health care. I couldn't agree more that Thailand is the superior providers as my own experience have borne out. On a recent visit to Thailand, I scratched my foot and it soon started to swell. I went to a local Bangkok hospital where I was swiftly processed. A few minutes later, I was in front of a doctor. He diagnosed a mild ligament strain and advised aspirin and ice. Luckily, before the amoebic infection spread too far, I made it back to America where I was prescribed massive doses of antibiotics. But don't get me wrong, the doctor was friendly, the nurse was smoking hot, and I was in and out in less than 2 hours. You could never do that in an American hospital. Remember Sawadee's story of how he almost died in a government hospital in Thailand of a misdiagnosed heart problem? He had to move to a private hospital and pay millions of baht to recover. In my opinion, totally unnecessary, as I am sure the government hospital would have figured it out eventually. Just another case of impatient farangs trying to gin the perfectly wonderful healthcare system of Thailand.


Personal safety in America is sadly a joke. This, in spite of the fact that there are over 350 million privately owned guns or approximately one for every citizen. Since criminals are considered citizens as well, this might partially explain our dangerous condition. But with such strict gun control laws, it's obvious that it is the criminals who have most of these guns. Like the old adage, if guns are outlawed, then only outlaws will have guns. Contrast this with Thailand, with only 10 million guns, where you can walk the streets of Klong Toey at night at risk of only a knife cut or a punch in the nose. Our author cites the notorious North Philly as a place to avoid at all times. But it's even true for supposedly benign places like Orlando, FL, home of Disney World. Look at what happened to teenager Trayvon Martin, walking home in broad daylight, is murdered by a lunatic neighborhood watchman. If you're not safe in Mickey's neighborhood, where are you?


Yes, if you add up all the pluses and negatives, Thailand is clearly the hands-down better place to live. First and foremost, there is no radical Kenyan as president spewing racial hatred and communist dogma. Whereas in Thailand, the president is the sweet sister of a tax fraud who almost singlehandedly started a civil war in the country. I can't wait until it's time for me to retire to Thailand. I plan on getting a permanent room at the Nana Hotel, where I can freely roam the bars and clubs, telling anyone who will listen to me what a terrible country America is. I just hope the social security checks keep coming.



Stickman's thoughts:

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Comparisons between our homelands and Thailand always seem to bring the worst out of people. I've got a theory on why that is but will keep my mouth shut, lest I upset a good few people.

From now on, I will not accept ANY mention of politics in submissions. No ifs, no buts, I don't want to read about it and I will delete anything that is political without apology to the author or note to the readers. No more politics under any circumstances,
END OF STORY.

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