Stickman Readers' Submissions December 10th, 2012

Are Stickman Writers Losers?


Following on the moderately popular and wildly controversial submission “Do Stickman Readers Hate Women”, comes a new
question, “Are Stickman Writers Losers?”

I’ve been puzzling over this question for some time now.

He Clinic Bangkok

Submission after submission slags off western women. It’s getting boring now…fat wrinkled out of shape Feminazis. That’s all you read about what writers to this site have to say about western women.

It’s a wonder that any man ever gets married in the west.

I know dozens of western men, all happily married (to varying degrees) to western women. As I’ve mentioned before, my son dates frequently, as do his mates, and I have never heard them ever complain about western women. They love them in fact. They look at me weirdly if I ask them about Feminazis. They think I’m making a joke.

CBD Bangkok

What about submission writers talking about Thai women? Over and over again we get submissions describing in gory detail about how the writer got shafted, taken for a ride, lied to, cheated and brow beaten by that lovely Thai lass they met in a bar one night and fell in love with.

Yet there are millions of decent Thai men married to decent Thai women, raising absolutely wonderful Thai kids. How does that happen if all Thai women are scum?

One writer recently had a rocky relationship (reading between the lines it was his first relationship with a Thai). One relationship. First time. Asian newbie. What was his conclusion? He said “All Thai women are lying sluts.”

Well, excuse me. My girlfriend who got a university degree at 26 and gets up at 6:30 AM every morning to be the first one at her office is not a lying slut. Her two older sisters who are raising three kids between them and have never set foot in a bar are not lying sluts. Their sainted mother who has raised four children on a farmer’s wife’s earnings and is now helping to raise three grandchildren is not a lying slut. My bank manager is not a lying slut. Neither is my secretary. Nor the 20 women in my office. Nor the ladies who work in the office of my condo. None of them are lying sluts.

The fault, my dear writers to the Stickman site, is not with western women. Nor with Thai women.

wonderland clinic

I ask you, is the fault with you?

Are you, I am sorry to have to ask this, a loser?

Are you incapable of having a long term relationship with a woman of any ethnicity?

Is the problem that you don’t know how to choose a companion?

There have been frequent postings about what criteria to use to choose a partner. Financially independent, no tattoos, doesn’t smoke, is educated, speaks good English, is able to discuss politics and sports, the lists go on.

And each list completely misses the point.

None of the criteria speak to what is inside the women’s heart.

When you set up a check list of physical or quantifiable characteristics, and miss the inner soul, you miss what people are all about.

Decency, kindness, trustworthiness, compassion, respect…these are the qualities we should be looking for.

Years ago I wrote a sub “Finding and Keeping a Thai Girlfriend”. I recounted what a sophisticated Thai man told me about what he looks for when choosing a mistress.

What do they do with their spare time? Do they spend all day watching TV, do they go out to bars at night? Or are they spending time with family? Getting an education? Setting up a business? We don’t expect our Thai girlfriends to necessarily be Mother Theresa’s, or spend their time in the great museums (when was the last time YOU went to a museum?). But if a girl does nothing all day long that’s a sign that she might not make a good partner.

How do they spend their money? Foolishlessly or frugally? In the shop do they buy the most expensive shampoo, or do they look for the one on sale? Do they clip coupons? Here’s a test. Take your girl to a fancy store and tell her you will buy her a purse. Any purse. Does she pick up the Louis Vuitton, or a moderately priced bag? A girl with a good heart would not take advantage of you.

How does she interact with her family? This might not be a criteria for choosing a western woman, but given the importance of family in the Thailand, a girl without a good relationship with her family is someone to watch out for. Thai families keep their children in line, and keep them from going astray. A girl with strong family ties is less apt to cheat you. (Yes, I am aware there are some bad Thai families. If you meet a girl with a bad family…stay away from her and them).

These are all gross exaggerations of course, and a girl who passes all the tests might still turn out bad. This list is not exhaustive, and you might have other questions to add. But the point is that you need to look into the inner soul of a woman, and get past her flawless skin and electrifying smile. These are great things for a night, but not things to base a long term relationship on.

Trust is without a doubt the key to any relationship. Think of your best friend. The one you would go to in a crisis and he would help you without a blink. The one you would help out without a thought if he had a problem. Now, how long have you known him? Quite a few years I expect. You don’t earn (or give) trust overnight. It takes years to build it up. And it comes through going through problems together, and seeing that you can help each other out, and be a person to turn to in time of need.

If you make the right choices, and find a girl who you can learn to trust over time, you might not have such a bad feeling about women, western or Asian.

So the question remains, are you a loser, or a chooser?

Take care,


nana plaza