Readers' Submissions

The Caveman Syndrome

  • Written by Anonymous
  • November 28th, 2012
  • 5 min read



I am enjoying the Caveman posts on Stickman, although I do yawn at times, it's just usually people don't write it all down.

I have seen this all 1000 times before. I am relatively young at 35 but hell have I seen them come and go. They come, cum, and they're so excited, it's all so 'amazing, different, incredible.'
"I have this new concept and Thailand has never seen anything like it." yada, yada, yada.

Chiang Mai is great for all the reasons listed by Caveman but it's a lolly, you lick, lick, lick on the surface stuff and after a while (2 years) you feel sick. Yes pussy, yes motorbike rides, yes mountains, yes live music every night, yes breakfasts from Around The World. Yes fun, fun, fun. Yes date , date , date and tell us how all those dates went and then….

I have been here 7 years, I was the party dick, the classic, young dumb, and full of cum and money. Only $40,000 but I had nowhere to be and nothing better to do than study (I'm quite academic), I then wrote (I like to write), I then ran, I like running. At 9.00 I hit my music bar, then the nightlife until 1.00/2.00/3.00/4.00 a.m. often woke in a strange bed. Never paid a dime. I was in heaven but my liver was very tired. I gave the liver a rest and got a girlfriend. I did all the mountain stuff the Caveman is doing. I also took a big trip abroad once a year, in fact 2. One to home, uk and one to Japan, US, New Zealand. It was all great but…dating…forget dating. I split up from g-friend in CM for a year and dated, hell, hell, hell, shallow, prostitute, boring. I could probably realistically be with 0.0005 % of the girls I meet here long term.

A number of friends own businesses, the sober ones break even, the drunk ones lose money, the other ones go to jail.

Caveman Vegan, just eat a cow.

I have seen so called writers die a death by the dozen self publish books and die. I have seen the optomist become the pessimist too many times to recall. But overall this is a great place. The recipe for success. Accept your surroundings. Work out what you can and can't do. Make a million, no. Find love, yes but it's no different from home, no different. If you want that you gotta give all you gave at home and bridge the barrier of culture and langauge. If you're shit at relationships, accept paid sex is your future, and endless dating will be endless. Have a rounded life here, yes, sort of, you are forever an expat in a strange land, you have to learn to appreciate the little things and the big. Weather, quiet, nice people to look at, nice scenery, but don't try to take too much. The Thai immune system will defeat you every time.

Caveman is halfway between a backpacker licking his novelty lollies and a longtermer who gets it. Right now he doesn't get it. He has enough novelty lollies to suck not to get bored, but he will. He has enough asses to chase until he dies unless he wakes up one moring and thinks, god I don't want another of those. Want a woman Caveman get ready for responsibity, her family are yours. You need to pay at least for her, if not for them. No social security here,, we're it. My advice find a woman with money who loves you for your charms.

I do like riding too, I've done a lot but I also need fitness, I only enjoy being here when I'm toned and fit. Caveman right now is like a Virgin Stickman in Bangkok, virginity will pass then you have to graduate. Many have failed this test, many and intelligent men. Work out what you can and can't expect, then you can get happy. For me Thailand is the acid test of life. If you can make it here you can make it anywhere, forget New York. Here you are dealing with psychological manipulators the likes of NYC has never seen. Enter a bar or an internet liason and prepare for being opened up to the assassins of the heart. These girls are streetfighters with subtle poise. Trick is to avoid those by not meeting a girl online or in a bar, or in a club and find a real one. They are there but like a good miner you have to search.

What many don't consider is most Thai girls have been exposed to Western culture since they were born, they know us. They have then been exposed to friends who have met men from abroad who with little effort can be bent around their fingers. The farang is like a cold water fish suddenly placed in tropical waters. He thinks he's o.k, his ATM works, he has control, he can date….then his mind wonders. He begins to stretch his credulity be it mental or financial like a bad poker player. Then he ends up poor, broke, dead or on a flight back to the US.

Right now Caveman is a man running around a field of flowers, arms outstretched touching each one and savouring life. Quite soon you are going to have to go deeper and then, you might be booking that ticket back to the U.S..



Stickman's thoughts:

Caveman may be wearing rose-tinted glasses – and there is no crime in that – but rather than tell other people how things are, he is relaying his experiences. You may disagree with his interpretations of some things and feel he is perhaps erring on the optimistic side – but surely that's a good thing and he should be encouraged to enjoy the honeymoon period?!