Readers' Submissions

Pattaya And Whether She Has A Boyfriend




Lonely Farangs often ask if she has a boyfriend as he is looking for a soulmate in a gogo bar. Of course she will say no! Why would she consciously hurt an income opportunity? She likely has either a boyfriend or a girlfriend as she is a young person who naturally wants to communicate in the language of her birth and with someone within a few years of her age.

Here in Pattaya people of like kind associate together during non-sexual commerce hours. We old boys get together and discuss similar interests just like the girls sit on the floor, watch channel 7 and tear up that smelly som tam.

Seems natural and alright to me, why not? The issue I want to discuss here is the ladies lives as I see them playing out.

More often than not, it seems after some time the good looking ladies will go for a girlfriend as the higher quality Thai men are not available to them and they are bored with Viagra-charged puppy dogs slobbering on them after they have been working with us for sometime. As it goes, they will financially support their "Tom" as well. I think that relationship becomes maddening for them as it seems to have a more volatile dynamic than the male / female event. I know of some knife wounds I have witnessed (after the fact) and see them around town playing out the pouting / manipulating games. The practicality of the lesbian thing seems clear to me as they are both small, usually too young to snore, speak the same language, have similar interests, and the lesbian is not jealous of her girl going with men, only if they play with women.

They are wretched in reality and have little choices available to them as, we have to remember, there is most often a greedy mama nagging these girls to generate money. I know of several girls that really do make well over a hundred thousand baht a month. Compare that to anything they are qualified after dropping out of school at 12 and one sees they will do this job. After some time they enjoy the work (some really do) and, if they are in that rare minority that saves something for themselves, they can have a decent life.

What about the girls who really do have a Thai boyfriend? How much more natural can one expect them to be? To me the ones with most integrity can admit they have one. The hi-so Thai man will have nothing to do with brown, great-bodied Essan girls in Pattaya. So, she gets a DJ from her bar or a motorbike taxi guy who has possibly spent some of his life in a monkey house as they call jail.

We cannot save them, and in our best efforts, maybe one in twenty will get some schooling (it is offered here for a hundred baht on Sundays they can study for a basic elementary education). Up in Chonburi they can get high school and some ride the bus there daily. I try my best to pass on some universal lessons my life has given me and hope for the best, always thinking to leave them better than I found them if it is possible.

They give us some wonderful times with just a little effort at respecting them and understanding their lives. Trying to advance our pathetic Thai speaking impresses them much more than the idiotic dumbing down Tinglish some guys try. ("I want barfine you, come my room".)


sunset in Pattaya



Last night I had two come over I sometimes visit with. They were gone in an hour and a half with my silly grin still on my face this morning. This is my way to live here and I enjoy myself plus take care of people who have little options from the moment they are born up in the Thai / Lao area of the North-East. They would not prefer to be laying down with old men but consider us jai dee and are quite nice to us once we establish what we consider to be good service and subtly demand it for ourselves. If she was no good, tell her so, as she may be so dumb as to assume you want mediocrity again.

It strikes me as odd how a regular "GF" knows when I am about to obtain some variety. On the bike ride down last night I feel that Iphone vibrating on the leg as I kee the Honda Blade between the baht buses to get to Walking Street. I did what these girls have taught me, and I ignored the call. Then during my fun a flurry of messages came through showing the escalating rage. Fortunately, I only associate with girls who will not act out and come to my door without my approval. Believe me, we learn how to communicate this important aspect.

So after they left, her communication text messages grow and she becomes nicer. I sent an SMS saying "If you cannot treat me right, go get another customer who doesn't care how he is treated."

By the morning things are all just fine. Her last one signaled the change "I hate you". The right response, "No, I know you don't, I miss you get some sleep" and things are as on track as they get.

This is not rocket science, and it is sure preferable to sitting in America eating cookies and watching TV all alone. Or living on the Internet as you are not interested in driving a car out to bars where folks there are 40 years younger and completely ignore you.

So it is here I stay. My friends back home can get upset about politics all day long if they like.

My life here has a balance to it as my sex life is slowing down, although last night doesn't sound as if it is so, but it mercifully is less than it was. Now, it is 10 years here and there are other forms of beauty to enjoy. The simple fact that we have more human interactions than at home allows me to look at other things. As a retired person I can investigate many curiosities I have held a long time.

And similarly, I do not have to marry to avoid loneliness as we can have as many interactions as we can cope with in this town. One learns to sidestep the extremes.



Stickman's thoughts:

You really are a man of much patience! The nonsense these girls get up to and the games they play make me struggle to spend even the time needed in the bars to do the column, let alone to actually get close to them!