Readers' Submissions

My Take On Western Women

  • Written by Jay C
  • November 30th, 2012
  • 6 min read




I've been reading this website for years and have been to Thailand a few times myself. I've got an Asian partner and have also had a couple of Thai girlfriends here in Farangland. I've also had relationships with farang women and this is what I would like to share with you.

Most of the farang women I've dated have been financially independent and also had their own circle of friends. All my family members are married to local ladies and in all cases their partners earn as much if not more than they do. None of them are models and none of them are ugly either. They're quite simply ordinary, hard-working people with the same human faults that anyone else has. Their lives aren't a piece of cake by any means but they certainly aren't what you would call feminazis. They work hard and love and care for their children and husbands. Normal people doing normal things really. Nothing much to write about.

The impression I get from a lot of the Stickman readers' subs is one of double standards by the men writing them. A case in point is the familiar tale of the man being guilty of "not looking like Brad Pitt syndrome", i.e. a writer feels that he doesn't get enough attention because he's not physically attractive enough. Or is old and therefore is largely ignored by western society. Now I certainly don't intend on being judgmental or mean-spirited – these things hurt for sure. Going out socialising and being ignored by the opposite sex is not exactly encouraging, and believe me I've plenty of experience of that. As do a lot of young men. But going to a third world country and getting attention from money hungry leaches who work in bars isn't a solution to anything and can only end in tears.

I would like to refer specifically to the number of men who write in about how they are rudely rejected by western women who are 10 to 15 years younger than them. I mean seriously, what do you expect? If you're 55 years old and trying to chat up a 40-year old woman, what do you thing she's going to do?! Here's where the double standards come in. How about you approach a 70-year old woman? It's the same age gap as the 40 year old but in a different direction. Not as interested now, I bet. Or alternatively, how would you feel if your 25-year old daughter brought home a 40-year old man as her partner? I'm not sure you'd like that either. I think a lot of the readers to this site need a reality check. Finding a partner is hard work. It shouldn't be but it is. I've had limited success with the ladies in Farangland and have enjoyed the p4p scene in Thailand. I've also developed emotional attachments to some service providers in the past and I understand and relate to where most of you are coming from. I really don't mean to sound overly critical but it makes me angry to see people deceiving themselves so much.

I'm in my mid 30's, am reasonable looking and am physically fit etc. I was in a club with some friends and got approached by an average looking woman who told me that her friend liked me. I wasn't intimidated by it because she was average looking and not out of my league or anything like that. So I head over to check out her friend and it was a woman who was in her late 40's or early 50's. I couldn't believe it. How the hell did this lady think she could get away with that kinda thing?

Now I'm guessing that this is exactly how a lot of the 40-year old farang women feel when approached by a 55-year old man in a club. It's kind of insulting to even be approached by someone that much older than you, at least for me it was. You think to yourself, am I that low down on the ladder?

But in the greater scheme of things I thing that clubs and pubs are aggressive environments and are not really conducive to finding a suitable mate anyway. My advice to 55-year old men is to start going to dancing classes or something like that. I mean, I don't actually know how to go about it. Life really is a bitch and finding a soul mate has proven incredibly difficult for me, and I'm not even 40. The whole dating scene is a minefield no matter where you are. Some guys are better with finding women than others. That's just the way it is. I've had a lot of unpleasant experiences just like most of the guys who write in to this site but condemning western women as a whole is stupid. There are plenty of damaged, spiteful people out there who are both male and female. Staying in a long term relationship takes a lot of patience and perseverance which are skills not really that common in most people. I don't mean to sound like some kind of know it all, but if you read between the lines to what is written in the readers' subs on this site, it's not too difficult to see that there are glaring holes in a lot of the arguments put forward by the men who write "bargirl done me wrong" pieces. I suspect that there is definitely more than a little bit of blame to be given to the farang men as well for these train wrecks.

Best of luck in your searches, just please don't go on about how bad western women are because it just makes you look foolish. It really does. Western women are absolutely fine, believe me. Most of my western female friends know that I have slept with hookers in Asia and are fine with that. I have an Asian partner because I like the way they look. That's all. I could just as easily have found love with a farang woman as with an Asian woman. There are plenty of selfish, self-absorbed women in Farangland and I am sure that there are more than a few in Asia as well. It takes skill and discipline to keep yourself away from people who do not have your best intentions at heart. And if we're all being honest, the world is unfortunately full of people who will trample all over you for their own gain.

Good luck.



Stickman's thoughts:

Lots of common sense here.

I am sure some guys have been burned and as such feel resentful because of that, but plenty of guys ought to take a good, long look at themselves. There are plenty of Western men in Thailand who struggle to meet a decent woman because, to be frank, they are wrecks – not just physically, but emotionally and maybe even financially too.

Of course, for the guys who have their shit together and still struggle, or are just plain treated badly by women, that's sad and the woman ought to be a bit more respectful of others.