He Trusts Me
It starts, as it always does, with an approach.
"May I sit here?"
She looked up at me from her I-Pad, a dazzling white smile set in a cappuccino face, and nodded.
"What are you studying?" She glanced down at her book and softly replied "Engrish".
We were on our way.
This was about two years ago. I was going to Phuket on a monthly basis for business, and I had tired of Bangla Road and the short, fat, farm girls who were looking for a quick payment with little effort on their part. It was getting increasingly harder to find anyone remotely attractive.
We were in a coffee shop, at the end of the day, with cocktail hour approaching and my business done. She was neatly dressed in fashionable jeans and a stylish, but not sexy, top. Her face and figure matched my ideals, and the only questions left were: would she go with me and did she have a good heart.
Oh, and what about her foreign boyfriend, because with the I-Phone and I-Pad, studying English and not working, she was clearly being funded.
We began to talk and one thing led to another. She agreed to go to dinner with me and, after calling her father (she was from Phuket and lived with her family) off we went. At dinner, she filled in some more of the blanks. No, she had no children. No, she didn't work in the bars. Yes, she had an American boyfriend who worked in Hong Kong. Yes, he was married but separated. Yes, he loved her and she loved him and she didn't care he was married because he took care of her and she didn't have to work in the bars. She was 25 and he was 50 and he sent her money every month.
This was getting even more ideal. I had a regular girlfriend in Bangkok for many years who I was crazy about but she was working and couldn't come to Phuket with me and it got lonely there every night with only the chubby village ladies to be with. A nice wholesome local girl was just what I wanted, one with a regular boyfriend and no strings attached.
Sometime, late in the evening, when things were going well between us, I asked her back to my room. She blushed, and said she didn't do that. I didn't press it. Half an hour later she asked me if I meant it, if I was serious or just joking. She said she would think about it. Sometime later, she asked me what hotel I was staying in.
In the room, she sat on the sofa and talked. She showed me pictures of her boyfriend, and his dog, and of them together. After an hour, with her still talking, I suggested that a shower might be in order. She willingly complied.
An hour or so after that, she showered again and got dressed to go. No, she couldn't spend the night, her father would kill her.
The months went by in that fashion. I would email her before my flight to Phuket; we would meet after my work and go to dinner, a movie, or a disco. She would spend an hour or two with me in my room before going home. She never asked for money, or that I buy her anything, but I would always put something in her purse and when she got home she would send a text thanking me. For the evening, for the meal, for the money, it was never clear.
One night after about six months, I was expecting her to come and she kept sending texts to delay. She has to run an errand for her father, she has to make dinner, she has to study for a test; finally at 11 at night she wrote "you have to forget me." I figured her boyfriend had found out and was putting the clamps on. Well, it was great while it lasted and I spent the night with a tall girl with a weird body smell and no tits to speak of.
Another six months or so went by and I didn't hear from my Phuket lady. I went out with a few bar girls now and then and found a few sweet ones, but nothing to compare to the one I was asked to forget.
"Hi". The email was short.
"Hi." I wrote back.
"How are you?"
So that's the way you want to play it?
It went on for some time like that, until finally she wrote "you want to see me?"
We made a date for my next visit. When we saw each other it was like no time had elapsed. I didn't ask her about the six months of silence, we were happy to be with each other and words and explanations would not have changed anything. We were both using each other as an antidote to loneliness. We both missed our respective girlfriend and boyfriend but also enjoyed being with each other and didn't feel it to be disrespectful in any way to our true loves.
She came back to my room, and, after the usual hour of talking, went to shower. Later, she asked me for a T-shirt and rolled over with her back to me and fell asleep.
The next morning she told me her boyfriend's wife had reappeared.
Time went on and we settled back into the same routine, but now she would spend the night with me. She told her father she was staying with her cousin. Her boyfriend continued to send her money every month and outside of the occasional request for a new TV or computer, which I quietly deflected, she made no demands on me. She was always available, and I never received any indication she was seeing anyone else. It was clear between us that we were not boyfriend/girlfriend.
"I have big problem."
I waited for the next email.
"I very sick. I have to go hospital."
Do you need money?
"My boyfriend come and take me hospital Bangkok."
Several weeks went by.
"I stay hospital 2 weeks. My boyfriend take care me. I see doctor many time and he give me many medicine. Now I better and go home Phuket."
A few days later.
"I love my boyfriend so much. I love him almost as much as my family. I don't care he married. I want stay with him forever."
The next day.
"I can still see you but not same before. You understand?"
I understood. In fact, I was pleased for her. But the little evil man who sits on all of our shoulders was whispering to me.
The next time I went to Phuket I invited her for a coffee in the middle of the afternoon. She looked pale and had lost weight. She talked for an hour and showed me lots of pictures of her and her boyfriend in Bangkok. After an hour I paid for my coffee and left.
The next month I invited her to dinner. Oh no, she replied, I couldn't do that. Suit yourself I responded. A few hours before supper time she wrote that she had spoken with her boyfriend and that he had given his ok. She showed up with her cousin and I thought I am getting too old to be chaperoned but I played along. After dinner we went to a quiet bar for a few drinks. I kept my hands off her and treated her like a younger sister. Around 10 pm she asked me what I wanted to do next. I said I was tired and just wanted to go back to my hotel. She said ok, but could we drop her cousin off at home first?
That was an unexpected, but very welcome, surprise. We dropped her cousin off and went to my place. She talked about her boyfriend, and how he was going to leave his wife and she would move to Hong Kong to stay with him, showered, and joined me in bed.
Afterwards, I went to shower. Coming out I saw her on my bed texting. I asked, who are you texting? She said, my boyfriend, I always text him every night before I go to bed, to say good night.
I went and sat next to her, stroking her lovely skin. But what would you say, I asked, if he asks you where you are?
She sat up suddenly, her breasts quivering slightly. He would never do that, she replied a bit angrily. He trusts me!
The story, for now, ends here. We are still seeing each other and who knows where it will go. But I wanted to add some commentary.
There are a lot of submissions to this site about Thai girls cheating on their boyfriends, and about Thai girls taking money from several men at once. Usually, the man writing to complain about this behavior is himself seeing several girls at once.
There seems to be a clear double standard in these pages, and in the minds of many writers. The male is allowed to see as many girls as he wants, but the female is supposed to be faithful. One would think that after thousands of years of relationships we might have moved on.
I ask the readers of this post to write to me, or to write their own post. Was this girl wrong to sleep with me while also taking regular money from a man in Hong Kong? If she truly loved him should she still see me?
What about the boyfriend. Didn’t he realize what she was doing? Did he care? Was he doing the same in HK?
Was I wrong to continue to sleep with her, knowing she was in a relationship? Although I never met her boyfriend, should I have followed some male code and avoided her out of respect for him? Was cheating on my girlfriend in Bangkok also wrong, or is that something "men do"?
Personally I am fine with both my and her behavior, and feel that neither of us is doing anything wrong. Obviously she feels the same, and does not feel she is cheating on her boyfriend. “He trusts me” was said with 100% sincerity and she really was angry with me that I doubted her commitment to her boyfriend. This, 10 minutes after making love to me.
How can you not love Thai women?
Interesting story. Amazing it went on for so long. I know we're all different but if you each really were an antidote to the other for loneliness, why not make an effort to overcome that loneliness in the first place?
I'd strongly disagree with the assertion that many guys who are keeping a Thai girl and maintaining from afar are seeing other women, ESPECIALLY if he is in the West. Some guys in Asia might have another on the side, but it is my observation that most do not.