A Reply To Jayson
Jayson, thank you for taking the time to write your thoughts in Farang Men / Thai Women – A Reality Check. Also, may I say your English is excellent. May my Thai ever become even close.
I have no doubt that your thoughts are spot on for those farangs who believe they can come to Thailand and find themselves besieged by beautiful young Thai women whose only goal in life is to find and marry a farang. I also think that Stickman’s comments at the end come closer to reflecting the desires of most farangs I know.
Certainly there are farangs with wild misconceptions of their desirability to Thai women as husbands and fathers and close friends and lovers. That’s especially true of older farangs who speak no Thai and are seeking a very young and beautiful Thai.
Most of the farangs I know don’t fit into that category. The only ones who do should read your article. The ones who don’t may well find what they are looking for.
A farang/Thai relationship can be almost a business transaction and suit many farangs. “You provide the youth, beauty and sex, and treat me with respect as a person, and I’ll provide you with financial stability and help some with your parents.” Could this be done, and is it done in the farang’s home country? Sure, but with a lot more money. Not many in the West are Donald Trump always with a beautiful young Caucasian woman on his arm. Yet even Trump gets his trophies from Eastern Europe and then expects them to speak their (broken) English.
If it’s good enough for Donald Trump on a higher level to have (what appears just to me) such a business transaction, then why should one expect a middle class farang to be different?
Now, you mentioned “unattractive to Thai men” but you didn’t go into detail. It’s my understanding that the darker skinned Isaan women are unattractive to many Thais, and the skin marks them as lower class. To many farangs they are beautiful. They populate many of the bars in the sex trade. Many Western men seek out these Isaan girls for that reason. They look for the very poor, rural, uneducated but to them beautiful and much younger girl who may know only harvesting rice and occasionally working at some other menial job.
If that girl is young and beautiful in the eyes of the farang, then a business transaction occurs. The parents may be in favor of it. The girl may agree to it for the security of her family.
There is something else about that girl which fascinates the farang. By his standards, she is tiny. Tiny equates to cute and sexy for many. I’m not talking about underage or child abuse. The girl may be 25. In her culture she may be past her “sell by date” especially if she has a child.
I hope you understand that many farangs are happy with this transaction. I can’t speak for the Thai woman, but she readily agrees to it. If the farang provides for her and her family without allowing himself to be ripped off or bankrupted, but merely leaves the girl and family in better financial condition than how he found them, then the inevitable has occurred and no one is shocked.
The farang never really loved the woman and the woman never really loved the man. Did they like each other enough? Maybe. I hope so. Did each get what was bargained for? I hope so. I’m simply an upper middle class American. If I was kicked out from such an arrangement after a very few years and all it cost me was the modest house I built on the parents’ property and a car and a scooter, I may look back on it with fond memories of living in LOS instead of downtown LA California. It may actually cost me less too! The attitudes and culture of the women in LA are a subject for a different place, but they do figure into the farang’s motivations in LOS.
After living in Big Town US, I find a small town in LOS a real escape. To have what to me is a beautiful young Thai girl look after me and get into my bed at night is a bonus. I will always do my best to assure that neither of us gets ripped off, and that what was envisioned comes to pass.
Thank you again for your article and I did learn from it in some ways. In other ways it mirrored what I already believed. Don’t feel badly for me or think the Isaan girl rips me off. She gives me as much as she takes, and again the whole transaction was cheaper and more enjoyable than spending that same time in LA..