Stickman Readers' Submissions October 31st, 2012

My First Month Living in Bangkok


I’ve been living in Bangkok for a month now, so I thought I’d send in an update of how it’s been going.

It’s everyone’s favourite topic, so first I’ll cover the girls. If I was here on holiday, by this time I’d have been greedily getting as many women as I could. But I live here now, so there’s no hurry. I’ve only been to Soi Cowboy twice, and Nana once, and each time for only a couple of hours.

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A girl I met last time I was here has been sharing my bed three or four nights a week. T is a medical engineer who works in sales for a medical equipment company. She also lectures part-time at universities around the country. She’s pretty gorgeous, and has done some modelling work, with the photos to prove it. She’s taller than most Thai girls, and has a slim but athletic body, not the skinny/fat build of so many. She goes to the gym most days.

She met me at the airport when I arrived at 3 AM on a Monday morning. She’d been waiting 2 hours, as the plane was late and it took me a while to get through immigration. She was a bit annoyed with that, but soon forgot it.

She really looks after me well. She does lots of nice things such as folding my clothes and tidying my room. She helped me find a condo and negotiate the price down. She’s good fun and we always have a laugh together. She’s an energetic and enthusiastic lover. She’s never asked me for any money, although I usually pay for the (cheap) food and drinks. She’s also pretty intelligent.

We watched Prometheus the other night, and during the alien pregnancy scene, she started talking about how most human organs probably started off as parasites which merged with the host during our evolution. Try finding a bargirl that can kick off that kind of conversation

I don’t really want a serious girlfriend, as part of the point of being here is to enjoy playing the field. She soon started putting pressure on me to be her boyfriend. I was feeling pretty guilty, as I wanted to see other girls, but she is so perfect and nice on the face of things that I didn’t want to cheat on her.

But of course, as always with girls and Thai girls in particular, I had some gnawing doubts. I’ve been involved with enough women to know that they are masters at being the perfect girlfriend while they get their hooks into you.

T has already told me a few things that are obvious bullshit.

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While I was back in Australia, she sent me a whole bunch of messages saying that her uncle was going to pay for her to fly out and see me. She even told me she had the ticket and the visa. Then, a few days before she was due to arrive, she was supposedly in a car accident and ended up in hospital. She sent me photos of her injured foot and a smashed car. This was pretty fishy and was confirmed to me as a total lie when she later added me to Facebook and I saw the same injured foot photo dated almost a year earlier.

Everyone tells lies sometimes, especially early in a relationship, but lying about being in a car accident is well into pathological territory. It was also pointless. She didn’t ask me for any money or anything. She just seemed to need an explanation for why she wasn’t at Sydney airport.

Last time she stayed during my previous trip, she told me she was going to Ko Samet for the weekend with her family. Soon afterwards, I got a few sexy photos of her in a bikini on the beach. Recently, she took me through the whole album which is entirely quality shots of her posing in a bikini. It seemed odd to me that there were no pictures of her family, so I asked her who took the photos. She told me her 5 year-old nephew took them.

Yeeeeeah, riiiiiight!

She’s often showing me stuff on her phone, and a few times messages from other men have popped up. I snuck a quick peek while she was in the shower and there were the inevitable “I miss you” and “I love you” messages to a few different guys. Some of the messages she’s receiving are sexual in nature. And, of course, they are being sent the same photos that I am. This didn’t really surprise me, and basically told me everything about our relationship that I needed to know.

I told her I know she’s in contact with other men, and has probably seen some since I’ve been here. She didn’t deny it, and said she talks with many men – “but I only have sex with you”. She’s told me many times that I’m only the fourth man she’s ever slept with.


At this stage, many of you are probably wondering why I still bother to spend time with her. I’ve often thought of dumping her, but the truth is that I have such a great time with her that I’m reluctant to give her up. We never argue, she never makes demands on me and I’m basically receiving services that would cost me thousands of baht a day if I was paying market price. She recently bought over a whole bunch of stuff for my new condo like blankets, towels, cutlery and crockery. I didn’t really want a girlfriend, and now I’m free to play the field as long as I don’t rub it in her face.

To be honest, I’m not really sure what she wants from me. It must be pretty clear by now that she’s not going to get any money. She knows I know the score. Yet most nights she’s still here doing everything she can think of to please me.

Despite the other lies, I’m certain her job is legit. I see her checking in on Facebook at various universities and labs. She’s shown me videos of her giving lectures and demoing medical equipment, often wearing the same clothes, hair, make-up and nail polish she has on when I meet her that night. I’ve met her work colleagues, and they’re all middle-class and clean-cut. When she stays with me, she gets up in the morning and dresses for work.

The only conclusion I can draw is that she genuinely likes me, but not enough to cut off her other guys. It sounds like she’s been disappointed by men before, so perhaps she’s just keeping her options open. Maybe it will all blow up in my face, I don’t know.

Once I figured out that T’s definition of boyfriend meant she could see other people but I wasn’t allowed to do the same, I decided that wasn’t a deal I was willing to stick to. I fired up Facebook and contacted one of the TLL girls I didn’t have time to catch up with last time I was here. N is a 23 year-old secretary and looks really cute in her pics. She messaged me back almost immediately suggesting we catch up that night.

I met her at Ekamai and we went to grab a meal. She’s more gorgeous in real life than in her photos, which is rare for Thai girls. She told me she wanted to get some plastic surgery but didn’t know what she should get fixed. I looked at her face and honestly couldn’t see one thing that needed improvement. She has full lips, a sharp jaw line, wide eyes and a narrowing face. Even her nose, the great weakness of so many Thai girls, is close to perfect. She’s from up near Chiang Mai, which seems to be a hotbed of beautiful girls.

It’s strange how many Asian women seem to want surgery for its own sake. She already has braces, even though her teeth looked perfect before in the photos she showed me. “Yes but they’re straight and I want them curved a little bit,” she told me.

After dinner, I took her to a disco. It seems many Thais agreed with my assessment of her beauty, as she was constantly having people coming up and telling her she was suuai (beautiful) and na rak (cute). Girls in particular loved talking with her, and phones were being shoved in her face and her number demanded everywhere we went. One taxi driver even asked for her number while we were sitting in his cab. The cheeky bugger apparently called and asked her out the next day.

I ended up kissing her that night, but she didn’t want to come back to my room. She seemed a little bit innocent so I wasn’t that surprised and figured I’d nail her later. My opportunity came sooner than I expected.

Early the next morning I was woken by a phone call from N, saying she was on her way to work but was tired and wanted to come and sleep with me for a few hours. That was okay with me. It wasn’t long before we were doing more than just sleeping.

She told me I was only the fourth man she’d ever been with. In this case, I’m pretty sure it’s close to the truth, because she obviously didn’t have too much experience. Four seems to be the magic number when Thai girls confess. Not that I ask them, or even care that much. They just seem to think it’s something I should know.

I’m amazed at how careless girls are with condoms these days. N made a big point, many times, about how we had to use a condom and how many people in Thailand were sick. Then, in the middle of sex, she told me to stop, reached down and pulled the condom off saying she didn’t want it anymore.

Girls are often the initiators of unsafe sex, in my experience. I hear the words “I want you to finish inside me” from almost as many girls as “I miss you”. As with so many things in life, men are made out to be the evil corrupting bogey-men ruining the lives of innocent angelic women, when the truth is sometimes the opposite.

N doesn’t like hanging around in farang areas and I don’t know many Thai places, so we ended up going out to Ladprao to a couple of places she suggested.

The first was a Thai nightclub that wasn’t dissimilar to clubs catering to young people in the West. Loud music, dark and plenty of people drinking. I was the only farang I saw there, and admit I found the place a little intimidating. There were plenty of guys hanging around with that slightly depressed look you see in clubs everywhere in the world. They were obviously there to meet girls and weren’t having much success. If one of them decided to let their frustration become violent, I was an obvious target – the farang with the cute girl in a club full of Thais. But nothing happened and everyone I did interact with was nice. I even had a gay guy blatantly hit on me even though I was clearly already with someone.

The next time we went out, the place she took to me was much nicer. The crowd was a bit older and there was a really cool band. It was a big warehouse kind of place. Again I was the only farang, but the vibe was much less intimidating.

I had good times with N, but every time I spent a lot of money, around 4,000 baht. This isn’t because the places we went were expensive, but simply because we were out for such a long time. I’d often meet her at 7 PM and end up getting home around 4 or 5 in the morning. I had a lot of fun, so I can’t really say it was money wasted.

It’s nice being with such a cute and relatively innocent girl, but there are a few things about her that annoy me. She’s pretty lazy and seems used to having people wait on her hand a foot. I’ve seen this before with beautiful Thai women. Their family and friends are too nice with them and they become spoiled. She’s not up there with bargirl laziness – she’ll walk and take the BTS rather than a taxi – but she’s definitely not as energetic as I’d like. She’s also becoming a bit bossy and demanding, which is absolute poison with me.

She’s told me she’s not interested in having a boyfriend, which suits me fine. So I’ll enjoy my time with her, but I don’t think it will be anything long-term.

I recently went to a Thai club in Ekamai with T, where I only saw two other farang all night even though the place was packed and I walked around a lot. This was a more upmarket place than the others – catering to middle-class Thais. I have never seen so many hot girls in one place. T’s workmates had already scored a table and a bunch of bottles when we arrived. We stayed until the place became unbearably packed. I didn’t end up paying one baht for the night, with T and her friends covering everything. If she’s scamming me, I’m yet to figure out how.

An interesting side-note from both T and N is that they previously had extremely controlling boyfriends. T used to go out with a rich doctor, who actually hired bodyguards to follow her around. N has just recently broken up with a guy who insisted she handed over all her passwords and got angry whenever she went out without him. I think this kind of behaviour is really adolescent and ridiculous. If a girl wants to cheat on you, she’s going to do it. Controlling behaviour will likely achieve the opposite of what you want. It’s your job to make her not want to cheat on you.

N had to arrange to pick up some things from her ex-boyfriend’s condo and asked if she could use my phone to call him. She said it was because her phone was out of credit, but I suspect it was to annoy him. Sure enough, he called back a few hours later, but I didn’t answer.

Aside from the girls, I’ve found a really nice place to move into. A one bed condo near Asoke in a nice building. It’s a little bit more than I wanted to pay, but still within my budget. I’ve been living in a serviced apartment up to now, and am looking forward to getting my own place. A maid is going to come and do the cleaning and laundry a few times a week, which will spoil me a bit.

I’ve also joined a great gym and have a personal trainer to teach me kick-boxing. So you’d better be polite if you ever run into me – ha ha.

My Thai lessons are going well. The teacher is good and I’ve made real progress. It’s amazing to me that I can already read and write a little. I’ve also made some friends among my classmates, which I hope will add to my social life. Many of my classmates have been here for years and are still in the beginners’ class with me. Why would anyone live in a country for years and not put in effort to learn the language? If I don’t pass my test in a few months and move up to the more advanced class, I’ll be extremely disappointed with myself.

Life is great here so far, and I feel I’ve done the right thing by coming. I’d like to spend a bit less, but think that will happen once I settle in a bit. I’m going out most nights at the moment, which obviously adds up. Once I’m in my condo, I think I’ll likely spend more nights at home.

I’ll keep you up to date, anyway.


's thoughts:

Very nice update and it sounds like life is treating you well. Do keep us informed with how things progress!

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