My Thai Wife in USA
I am 30 years old, my wife is the same age as myself. I first came to Thailand in 2007, met a beautiful Thai woman, and was very happy. My wife is very thin at about 5’0, 88 lbs, looks like a little Asian model. I thought I was so lucky, I could not get a girl like this in the USA. I take care of myself, but finding such a catch is so rare.
I went back to Thailand 2 more times, and eventually married my wife in 2009, and brought her to the USA. When she got here we were at it like rabbits, and she managed to get pregnant one month into the marriage. It was kind of fast, but I thought it's ok, we can use a baby anyway.
The arrival of the baby brought the romance level down dramatically, but it's ok, I had sympathy. A baby crying all night and everything that goes with it is inevitable with family life. Ironically, when we got married I just quit a pretty good job as it was not working out, and we had little money and I was working 2 lame jobs.
The wife at this time seemed perfectly happy, and glad to be in the USA with me even though we were living in my parents’ house and she was pregnant. As time went on I got back on my feet, got a pretty good job, and bought us our own house (she bothered me for it everyday). She wanted a nice big house near the park, and near a school, and near the grocery store she can walk to. Anyone that has bought a house knows that’s a lot to ask for and drives the price if you can find it. Anyway, I made this happen for her because I wanted her to be happy.
Once we moved into our new home the wife just seemed to stop carrying about intimacy or sex appeal for that matter. The days of makeup and showers are gone. Even though she is a very attractive woman she doesn’t seem to think it is necessary to look decent. Now she wears big T-shirts and looks terrible all day. It takes all my energy to fix this problem. She seems to have no drive to repair our relationship.
Making matters worse she always has a goal for her parents. She wants to bring them here and I agreed actually, but on the stipulation she gets a job as well. She can’t seem to pass her driving permit test so this is unlikely to happen anytime soon. She has to drive to work where we live.
Now everyday she tells me she wants to move to Thailand, and doesn’t like living in the USA. She complains she doesn’t live near anything and misses a big city. I told her straight up, I will get her the ticket and she can go on her way. I told her I am confused. Didn’t she want a family, stability, and a nice home? I have no idea what her problem is. She doesn’t make sense. I refused to send the baby anywhere with her. I even hid the child’s passport. I told her good luck going anywhere with her. Not that she can do anything without me…she can barely cross the street.
The only progress I have made in my relationship lately is badgering her a lot about her appearance. Sometimes, maybe every few days, she will look good for me, so I am actually attracted to her. She does still wake me up every day to make sure we have time together in bed even with the baby challenge. However, I can’t seem to do anything about her desire to abandon me and go to Thailand. Now she wants a 2 month visit with her parents, and wants to bring the baby. Of course I will not let her take the child.
I don’t know what to do. I am not very happy with a constantly complaining wife, that I do everything for and support and seems totally ungrateful.
If I could send her back and keep the child that would be done already, but it isn’t that easy. She is hard to talk to and tries to talk over me instead of listening and debating things like an adult.
It is worth noting, I did have 15 affairs on the side now, due to the extreme boredom in the marriage and the lack of effort the wife is giving it. I even found a replacement for her, an 18 year old model, I’ve been chatting to for the last month or so. Of course I would rather have this new one and a new life, but I can’t give up my child.
The bottom line is it takes two people to make a marriage work, and I tried everything I can. I am getting no cooperation.
What can I do? What is your opinion everyone?
Let her and the baby go back to Thailand. Neither of you want to be in this marriage and from what you've said it sounds like the two of you aren't even compatible.