Stickman Readers' Submissions August 27th, 2012

In Defence of Thai Ladies

Does anyone else tire of the constant negative posts about Thai ladies or is it just me? I would like to give my views and impressions on this subject which continually fills nearly every forum on Thailand lifestyles and relationships.

Firstly a bit about me: I'm a 67-year old Aussie, slim, healthy and active. I don't drink, smoke, gamble or do drugs, pretty boring actually. I am well travelled and have been coming to Thailand for the past 3 years, made 7 trips and have spent about 18 months here in total. I mostly stay in Sin City (Pattaya) though I have made trips to Chiang Mai, Udon Thani and Buriram. I make no pretense why I come to Thailand – it's for the female company that I cannot have in my own country. Does this make me a sex tourist? I don't really know. I'm not as sexually active as I used to be and because of my age I am now very selective who I take as a partner. All I know is that I have always enjoyed the company of women more than men and when I come to Thailand my days are filled with their company. People say it's not real, it's all about money, it's a fantasy. Well, I have no money or assets. I have lost everything and now survive on a small government pension so I don't have money to waste or throw around. I certainly help the ladies with small money, I buy them food and sometimes a few clothes and cover expenses when we go out for a meal the same as I have done all my life with Aussie women. As regards to it being a fantasy, well, is it? Every day I wake up alongside beautiful Thai ladies, I spend my days with them, meet their family and friends. I ride on their motor scooters, I eat with them, shower with them and make love with them. Is this a fantasy? To me it's very real, it's how I spend every day in Thailand.

Since coming to Thailand I have been with women from all sorts of occupations and backgrounds, I have sampled women from the P4P industry, gogo girls, bargirls and girls from massage places. I have been with ladies who work in shoe shops, a lady who had her own street food cart, a cleaning lady from my hotel and several rice farmers' daughters from Isaan. When you get close to these ladies and hear their stories you cannot help but be amazed by their toughness and resilience when everything in life seems stacked against them. I'll give just two examples. I met a girl on Beach Road in Pattaya selling herself to visiting farangs. Let's call her Na, she is just 29. She was from Udon and her parents, both in their late sixties and both in poor health had a small rice farm and each year grew just enough rice for themselves to eat. Their only cash income came from cutting trees and burning them to sell the charcoal. There was never enough money so when things got really desperate Na would come to Pattaya and work Beach Road for 10 or 12 hours each night. She was not particularly attractive and struggled to make as much money as the other ladies around her. She hated Pattaya, she hated the hustle and bustle and she hated the farangs who abused her, mauled her and rejected her. She was a country girl and all she wanted was to put together 5 or 6 thousand baht for her family so she could go home. Everyone in her village knew what she did and she was considered "a bad girl". The local Thai men would have nothing to do with her. She has sacrificed her youth, self respect and her future to support her family. She will probably never marry or have children and will spend her days stuck in a stinking hot rice field.

She is what ignorant farangs call a Beach Road whore.

Another lady I became very close to was also a rice farmer's daughter from Buriram. This lady is a 36 year old beautiful woman I will call Nam. Her parents were also elderly and in poor health. They can no longer work and they have sold their small farm to cover their extensive medical bills. Nam is the sole provider and she also supports her brother who cannot work and she has a teenage son from a relationship with a Thai man who deserted her as they all seem to do. Nam is also a Pattaya Beach Road lady with health issues of her own. She suffers women's problems and is in constant pain in her back and kidneys, common for ladies in this line of work. For 2 or 3 months at a time she will leave her family, rent a dingy, single room for about 2,000 baht a month and sell herself to farangs, seven nights a week. I became emotionally involved with this lady but her problems became just too much as she had a tangled life of family commitments and responsibilities, something I could find no answer to. She phoned recently, her mother had died and all her problems had become overwhelming and she broke down and cried into the phone. She has no support, no-one to help her, no-one to talk to and no future. She has sacrificed her best years for her family and will get nothing in return.

She is what ignorant farangs call a Beach Road whore.

Thailand is full of similar stories that ignorant farangs never hear.

But what would Thailand be without these women that sacrifice their own futures for the good of the family unit? Look around, every shop, market and factory is full of these women, nearly every street cart is run by a lady, not to mention the street hawkers who sell everything from coconut oil to sunglasses, walking the streets all day, every day making small money for their families. Look at the building sites, women labouring alongside men in oppressive heat and let's not forget their greatest contribution of all that fuels the whole Thai economy, the rice crop. Look at the rice fields, men are conspicuous by their absence, the Thai women carry the load.

And what of the ladies in the P4P industry, the ones that cop all the criticism from ignorant farangs when relationships fail. Some of these ladies choose this lifestyle, most do not, they would rather be at home with their family and friends. Either way, collectively they are earning billions of baht, sending the money home and supporting whole communities. Surely something to be commended, not criticised by ignorant farangs. The same farangs who meet a Thai lady on holidays, have great sex and want to continue the experience in their own countries. They drag these women all over the world to countries where everything is foreign to them, where they have no friends or support network and then wonder why the relationship fails. These same guys cannot hold relationships together with women from their own country with the same language, background and culture. How can they succeed with poorly educated women from third world countries? They never considered the Thai woman's needs and they probably don't even know her real Thai name. It's always the ladies fault, Thai ladies are no good so let's tell the world.

You'd have figured out by now that I have nothing but admiration and respect for these Thai ladies and would love to see guys stop bagging them as some sort of monsters. They are no better or worse than the ladies from your own country.

Generally they are hard working, fun loving and caring and they will add value to the quality of your life. They will give you all the love and affection you can handle if you respect them and treat them well.

I would like to think that more farangs would take the time to get to know these women for who they really are and not just what they offer in the bedroom.

Stickman's thoughts:

He Clinic Bangkok

I think it's great when someone stands up to defend these women who, I agree, often attract criticism simply due to their chosen profession. And yes, don't think otherwise because they absolutely DO make a conscious choice! All over Thailand employers are screaming out for staff, be it in hotels, restaurants, factories, shops…just about every type of work, there's a shortage of labour in Thailand!

While I am sure some of the stories these ladies have told you are true, I bet at least as many are not. MANY of the Beach Road ladies have boyfriends who take much of the money they make. Much of the money these ladies make is wasted (drugs and gambling) and despite what they may say, only a relatively small amount of the money they make is sent home for the worthy cause of supporting family. I don't say this to belittle anyone, simply to bring a little honesty to the table. Respect others….but respect yourself too!

nana plaza