Biology 101: Can’t Fault The Logic
I read this submission, Biology 101, with interest and an appreciation of the many cogent and rational points made by the author.
In my opinion, a very reasoned approach to the debate.
Just to declare an interest here: I’ve written about my own experiences with a Filipina bride in my ‘Told You So’ submissions. That story continues, but the final part should be submitted soon.
I was struck by Stick’s last weekly column about Thai bargirls preparing for their night’s work. To be honest, the picture it portrayed reflected to me, at least, the squalor and perhaps hopelessness of the whole scene.
On a very basic level, I am, of course, physically stirred by a woman with an attractive body and in the right mood could do the business and enjoy it. But – and it’s a big but – it would bring little or no pleasure at
all beyond the immediate physical gratification if there couldn’t be some basic conversation (at least) or worse, if the woman was so drunk, drugged, or whatever that she may not even know I’m there. If there’s no ‘connection’
or at least a basic human relationship it seems to me it’s not much different to rape with Rohypnol, or even necrophilia in the worst cases.
I’ve never used Thai bargirls (and, maybe, ‘used’ is the right word) but I have had ‘relationships’ with Thai and Filipina women. I can’t comment on comparisons with Thai bargirls, but I can say that
the women I knew were very aware of how to use sex to their advantage. Amateur or not, they were pretty good at it.
As a single (divorced) man I visited ‘clubs’ (brothels) in Spain and had some happy experiences. I thought that a Brazilian woman with a large chest was offering me a soda after the deed (‘You have coke?) but realised
that snorting was how she got through her shift. A very charming East European lady asked ‘Can I do anything else for you?’ I asked her to roll me a cigarette. Talking to these and other women (and in my opinion if you can’t
talk to them as human beings you have no right to use their services) revealed some fairly horrific stories. Even allowing for exaggeration I have probably and unknowingly ‘used’ some trafficked women. Mea culpa. In recompense, I
have sometimes paid for a woman, gone to the room and sat and had coffee and a talk. It seemed to be appreciated and there were some strange moments when, after ‘flashing her all’ on the dance-floor a woman would shyly pull a robe
Being back in the UK, I have dated some women closer to my own age. That is to say, they were 40+. Of course, generally they didn’t have the body of a 20-something Thai girl (but then, I don’t have the body of a 20-something
bloke any more). But there was, generally, the capacity to converse and relate as people, and whatever followed was all the better for that, much better.
I liked this comment from ‘Biology 101’:
I saw the greener grass a few years back and sort of liked it. A pretty face, a kind smile and a willingness to accommodate me a bit and I can be very happy and very generous in return, even if it is a temporary arrangement.
I have no illusions about love and romance anymore.”
I am very much the same as to the first bit. I have done some pretty stupid things for “A pretty face, a kind smile and a willingness to accommodate me a bit”. (Some I have documented here). Spent (lost) some money,
made crazy decisions, even got married.
As to the second bit, that’s a lot harder. ‘Love’ in particular is hard to define and can mean different things to different people. In my case, for example, it represents the feelings that my (first) wife and I had for
each other when we were married (me 23, she 19) and had our children. It persists even now, ten years after our divorce, in the knowledge that if either of us needed the other we’d be there without question. But we couldn’t (now)
At my advanced age (57!) and after a career which promoted cynicsm, do I have any illusions left about ‘love and romance’? Yes I do, and if I didn’t I’d be better to give up the chase now. I still believe that
a man and a woman can have more than a physical connection, and that the physical side is all the better for being able to ‘connect’ in some way other than just the physical act. On the most basic level, I believe that the capacity
to enjoy a coffee, orange juice and fresh croissant in the morning adds a better dimension than just calling a taxi.
Call me an ‘old romantic’ if you wish…
Makes me think that a lot of people crave companionship more than they actually do sex.