Stickman Readers' Submissions July 12th, 2012

Trafficking? One View on Filipinas

This submission was prompted by Korski’s piece on trafficking. I can’t properly describe it as a ‘response’ because I’ve never been to the Philippines (nor is it likely now that I will ever go there) and I don’t have sufficient knowledge or experience to endorse or contradict his views and assertions. So please accept this as just my personal view on Filipina ladies based purely on my experience.

(By the way, I still have in mind to complete my ‘Told You So’ series with the final update on my romance with, and divorce from, my ‘Filipina Princess’. Decree Nisi has been issued, Decree Absolute due in three weeks or so, and I’m just completing the financial forms to ensure that it’s a ‘clean break’ divorce – i.e. no alimony involved. More to follow soon.)

He Clinic Bangkok

I must emphasise that I cannot, should not, and do not judge all Filipinas from my experience with those I have met. The Philippines is a big country (population 85 million+ and growing) and the Filipinas I have met were mainly in Cyprus (and to a much smaller extent here in the UK) so they were, by definition, atypical of those who never leave their homeland. My views should be seen in that context. The Filipinas I have most contact with were from rural areas and there was a marked difference between them and those from more metropolitan areas, especially Manila.

My understanding is that in the more ‘traditional’ areas dating and romance is conducted in what most of us in the West would consider a very ‘old-fashioned’ way. Chaperoned dates, not much time spent together, potential spouses vetted (if not chosen) by parents, etc., and the ideal that the bride (if not the bridegroom) should be a virgin. Many young women seem (in my opinion) to have children very soon into the marriage, typically within the first year.

Here it is, I think, important to re-state a message that I have been banging on about since I first discovered it. There is no divorce in the Philippines. Full stop. Period. So a young Filipina with a child whose husband is physically abusive, abandons her, or is a regular patron of the local brothel in the village, has no recourse except to be a ‘good wife’ and get on with it.

CBD bangkok

The traditional escape routes for Filipinas are education, working abroad, or a combination of both. And, of course, there is a custom of Filipinas working abroad, remitting money home to support the family and hopefully retiring back to the Philippines to a house or farm they have paid for. The financial difficulties in many ‘developed’ countries over the last few years have tended to knock that idea on the head a little.

One previously almost guaranteed area for Filipinas was to gain a nursing qualification. I helped a niece of a former Filipina girlfriend to get through her last year and graduate. This news story
indicates that there are 200,000 qualified nurses who cannot find work, with a further 80,000 due to qualify this year. If the GRO you meet whilst mongering in the Philippines tells you she is a qualified nurse she may well be telling you the truth.

As to the work ethic of Filipinas – those I knew worked like Trojans and were only interested in building up capital with a view to going home with a substantial bank balance, or (better in their eyes) meeting and marrying a (perceived) wealthy Westerner and obtaining the relevant passport.

My experience of Filipinas (I repeat, subject to the conditions outlined above) is that they are well aware of their sexuality and its value. Some ‘ladies’ I knew in Cyprus had multiple contemporaneous ‘boyfriends’ each offering various degrees of support and there was no doubt that they were ‘filtering’ until they found the best prospect. The ‘filtering’ included, in at least a couple of cases, multiple abortions. Legal niceties including pre-existing (and indissoluble) marriages were of little consequence and here, I suspect, Filipinas and Thais have much in common. If there is a difficulty here and now, it can probably be solved by paying the right person the right amount and the appropriate paper can be produced. Don’t worry if that paper won’t correlate to ther records – all that matters is that just for now, for this purpose, things look OK.

wonderland clinic

Re ‘cherry girls’ – I had a Filipina girlfriend in Cyprus. She was 28 and had been there a few years working as a housemaid in almost slavery conditions. She was from a very poor family, one of ten children, and until she was 15 she shared a bed with her parents. She went to college and got a degree (in very difficult circumstances) and was recruited to work abroad. When I met her she had ‘illegal immigrant’ status. Her sexual experience equated to some fumblings back home and some dirty old bastard Cypriots who would pay her to show her knickers, give her a grope and take photos. We (I) tried for a ‘normal’ relationship, and she was very sweet and, I think, would have made a good partner / wife. But her sole goal in life was to have children, and I made it clear that was not going to happen. She was intensely sexual. I really cannot say a bad word about her. Within weeks of us splitting up she married a European guy, much younger and richer than me. Last I heard, she was unable to get pregnant despite all best attempts.

Re ‘trafficking’ – a horrible and despicable thing. A few years ago I had occasion to patronise brothels (they call them ‘Clubs’) in Spain. I thought they were great. A fine selection of women, mainly from Eastern Europe but from other countries as well. €60 for 45 minutes upstairs, and some drinks before and afterwards. Until I spoke to a couple of the girls in the ‘afterglow’ with whom I felt some rapport – and yes, I’m not ashamed to admit, I wished I could have taken away from the horrific life they were leading. They were prisoners (not virtual, actual) only allowed out in groups so that if anyone did a runner the rest would be punished. After that, I still patronised them but only to buy the girls 45 minutes of rest, talk and some human companionship without conditions.

This submission has been rambling, I accept. Just my collection of (honest) thoughts and experiences. As always, I stand to be corrected.

Stickman's thoughts:

In your last paragraph proper you touch on something that I find interesting, that of indulging in the nightlife when deep down you know the women involved don't really benefit from it. Affordable and readily available sex, or seeing your host country, a place you may have developed an affinity for develop and the people better themselves. For some it can be a tough choice…

nana plaza