Thai Wife Problems, Help!
I know each man thinks his girl is different, but please tell me WTF is going on here!
3 years ago I came to Thailand, had a few short times but it really was not all that great knowing that I had just paid to get laid. So after about 6 days in Pattaya I see a fresh face in the gogo bar I have been coming to for the past week. I mean this girl was amazingly innocent and beautiful. I had to have her. So I barfined her and we went for short time. I was too tired afterwards to go dancing so I gave her a big tip and she went on her way. I stayed around for about 2 months more and decided to see her again. This time I wanted her to be my girl. She spoke very little English at that time, but she was happy to come to Phuket with me for a couple of weeks. I hated to mention how somebody so beautiful could work in a place like that, but when I asked she told me the same thing that they all say – need to send money back home to Mum! Well, here's the twist. She is the youngest out of 4 sisters and all 4 sisters have graduated with bachelors degrees in Ubon and Bangkok all of this was supposedly paid for by her mother and father. Now I ask why are you working there? She said her father died when she was only 16 so she did not have a chance to finish school. She said that she told her mother she was going to work in Bangkok, and her family had no idea that she was working in the bar.
Anyway, we kept seeing each other but I had to return to work for 2 months, so I gave her 60,000 and told her to go home and wait for me. And she did! When I returned we decided to get a condo together in Jomtien, She wanted to stay up north with her family but I wanted to be closer to my friends in Pattaya. We ended up living together for 1 year in Pattaya before I decided I could not live here anymore. Too much party and too much spending was happening, so we made plans to go to live near her family up north. I went back to work and we made plans over the phone to get married. When I returned we had a beautiful wedding in her home.
But when it came time to sign the deed, I was wondering where it was. Did I just pay for this huge wedding and I was not actually going to be legally married? I was then told that I have to go to the American Embassy and get a document stating that I was not currently married. "I still have yet to sign this document". So I was a bit pissed off about it at first. Afterwards everything was great for about 4 months. I got a higher salary at work and she started to want more things which was fine, as so did I. But then that's where the jealously came in. She started getting very jealous about everything. I have no idea what I had done to make her this jealous. But mostly it was the whole Facebook thing! She hated and questioned me about every little thing that she came across. I finally said fxxx it! Here's my password if you don't trust me! Knock yourself out. So I completely forgot she had my password and then I noticed I had way less friends than I had before. She had gone and deleted about 60 girls from my page who were mostly family and former co-workers. Some of them even got a message from her pretending to be me saying bad things! So that was the first time that I drew the line. I told her go back home while I spend this next hitch at work.
I came home again and I still loved her so much, but she had got caught up watching too much TV. I swear she thinks she is Kim Kardashian now! She wants so much. So I told her fine. Go get a job! Something to keep you busy while I'm going to work, go to sell make up at Central or something. Anyways she had not been seeing eye to eye with my landlord and she eventually got me kicked out of my Phuket villa. I get an email saying that I have until the 8th of August to get out! Yes, I'm furious! I told her over the phone many bad things and told her that were finished until she could grow up! Told her to get her things and go back home to her mother. So after about a week she kept calling and crying that she was sorry and that she is a stupid girl and not do it anymore. But I told her that I needed about 6 months to think about it. She then broke down and cried for a week. She then proceeds to tell me that she had to sell her gold that I bought for the wedding! I could not believe it! So I ask why the fxxx would you do that? She said to me that she has land for her father that died and the bank was going to take it! But I was so pissed and did not believe her because she had never talked once about this land. I asked why did you never tell me about this and she said to me because I not want you to worry. I used the money you give to me every month and send to my mother. So she asked if I could give her 80,000 for the final payment to get all the land back. Well I told her No! And she said are we finished? I said, I need time to think!
So now after two years she is almost 21 and I'm 29. I find out that she has gone back to the very gogo bar where I met her! I mean this is my wife! The thought of her doing that again makes me sick. So I was so fxxxing pissed for a week that I did not even speak to her. Not to mention I am here at work in Nigeria now. But I spoke with her today and asked WHY? She said she needed the money!
She says please help her because she wants to come home to me so bad. So she says if I will give her 50,000 baht she will go home tomorrow and wait for me to come home next week!
Please take a look at the photos of me and her! I just don't know what to believe? Is this my wife or is this a bargirl forever? Please help!
I think this woman doesn't really know what it means to be married. You met her when she was still a teenager and I personally think that is too young for any woman to get worried, especially a woman who grew up in provincial Thailand. It sounds like there is not a lot of trust on either side and knowing how hard it is to work through conflict with Thais, I hate to say it but I am not sure you can come back from this. Sorry.