Readers' Submissions

A Little Bit on Going Over to the Dark Side


I find the idea of two men mincing along, hand in hand, somewhat disturbing. It kicks at the balance of things, although it would never occur to me to shout out an actual objection. On the other hand, sex with another man is all about power and domination – for me. No problem as long as it is behind closed doors.

The possibilities of gay sex in the UK are pretty dreadful. Whilst being gay in the West is probably beneficial – even compulsory – in some careers the idea of having sex with some loutish guy mired in ugliness doesn't inspire… the whole bar scene is quite frightening. Mostly, guys catch on that I am not a hundred percent gay and spend most of my time doing sex with gals. The very idea of bisexually is seen as a huge threat, much more so than being straight – it hints at choice rather than compulsion and destroys the pure gay guy's thesis that they were born like that and there is nothing they can do about it.

When asked by gays what I like, I tell them I like everything. When accused of liking both women and men I just shrug in agreement. In the West this does not go down well but I don't really care as the whole macho gay club scene is full of people I would not want to have sex with (and they probably don't want sex with me) but it is an amusing interlude to occasionally spend a few hours in such dives. Incidentally, these clubs get away with the kind of behaviour that would have a normal nightclub closed down quickly – sex in plain view of other guests not to mention really crazy stuff in the dark rooms.

In Bangkok and Pattaya it is a somewhat different kick. Thais tend not be so black and white about things – a lot of guys working in gay clubs actually have wives and kids and are able to juggle two completely different lives without imploding. No doubt they only admit to their women to taking on the male role. A lot of clubs the waiters reckon that most of the guys will not take on the submissive role but if you buy the dancers a drink and get them to talk they will admit to doing anything and everything. It is probably a face thing which is why I have never tried to take two guys at the same time, I am sure they would be in macho mode and refuse to do the same stuff as if I took just one.

Bear in mind, most of the waiters are happy to take on the feminine role and spread disinformation about the dancers so that the punters will bar-fine them rather than the go-go boys but most of the waiters are city boys (having good English part of their job) with too soft bodies. I have no inclination to have sex with boys under twenty but there are small bars in the back lanes of Silom where the guys are disturbingly young, the doors manned by Mafia goons who will try to lock you in the premises but I have gotten out of such joints as soon as I saw the youth of the guys.

This gay stuff is distasteful to a lot of readers but many of the foreigners I meet in gay bars are into the same kick – mostly into women (many married) and doing the guys for a macho trip on the dark side. The katoey thing is a whole different scene and not one I have ever bothered with, not least because the bars are usually mixed in with the girlie bars rather than down back alleys where you can duck in and out without anyone noticing you. Those katoeys are well weird, mostly being large lads who are more Jordan than Kate Moss. Neither have I indulged in the male massage scene, you could image some guy getting carried away and trying to mount you!

There are quite a few gay bars off Silom (not the big complex off Surawongse which is expensive) and lower end of Sukhumvit. I prefer joints which have the rooms in-house – the going rate these days is 600 baht for room/bar-fine and a thousand baht for the guy, which is damn good value even with Sterling in a rather sad state against the baht. The guys may try to quote a lot more than that but the density of customers in these off the beat dives is never great, and if one guy won't go for it sure as hell the next one will. Back when sterling was 70-80 baht I had one favourite bar where the all-in price (boy, room, bar-fine) was just a thousand baht and it was full of quality guys.

The bars themselves vary as to what the guys get up to on the stage, most end up doing naked go-go dancing, some with shows in between – the best one is when you have a dozen guys doing a train (live sex style, each guy having another guy pumping into him). Lots of acrobatic sex that if it went down in a straight go-go would have the police apoplectic, sometimes not a condom in sight. The downside is that beer is expensive in these dives, 200-250 baht and oddly they only serve a limited range of beers.

Unfortunately, as in the straight go-gos there are quite a few large guys and those dreadful muscular types who love to strut around as if they owned the world. I often breeze through a few bars before finding a joint with what I consider normal Thai guys – small boned but muscular in a lean rice-cutter kind of way, often twenty-something students paying their way through college. The trick is to ply the guy with just enough alcohol to get him relaxed but keep them horned up; part of the play, making sure they also get a happy ending even though they are underneath making a lot of noise as you grind away at them. Even after they have made a mess of the bedsheets some of them still complain about taking on the female role, trying to reconstruct their macho self-image. Great fun!

Interestingly, there is always a fairly fast turnover of these types – they make enough money to keep their education going and disappear back to college, I guess – and I am damned if I can ever recall their names or even much of their faces (which could be dangerous), though their lithe bodies and silky skin stay in my mind. The lovely thing about this kind of sex on the dark side is that there is absolutely no chance of any kind of romantic involvement (although a lot of the guys are looking for a sugar daddy), as mentioned no interest in anything other than the sex.

Some of the guys are quite frightening, strutting in a macho way on the stage they get into some acrobatics and then reveal their backside with a huge gnash that looks like a pussy, poor bastards probably started out when they were twelve and been hammered every which way. And ended up with nowhere to go but the neon for as long as their health lasts. On which note, I always wear a condom with plenty of lube and never had a breakage – if I ever had a temptation to try the feminine role the thought of the dreaded disease pulls me back to sanity.

Having written this I should mention that I would only indulge in gay sex about once a month when in Thailand, usually when I have become completely pissed off with the ladies and their inbred need to bullshit… yes, the great thing about sex with another man is that it is impossible for him to fake lust or the happy ending!


Stickman's thoughts:

This submission is particularly interesting given the recent articles on HIV and just goes to show that there are plenty of cross over out there…