Readers' Submissions

Three Weeks of Online Dating

  • Written by Napster
  • June 30th, 2012
  • 11 min read


I’ve just returned from three weeks in Bangkok where for the first time I experimented with dating on Thai Love Links. It was an interesting experience.

The main thing I learned is that it’s not necessary to pay for sex in Thailand. I have a mini-harem I’ve built up over my last few trips, including a freelancer, a massage girl and now some good girls too. All of them are, to my eyes at least, more physically attractive than most go-go girls. There’s also the added bonus of having a girl who is there because she genuinely likes you. What bigger turn on is there than that?

I have a choice of attractive women who will share my bed at no charge on any given night. Of course, this takes a little time and effort to achieve. But I’ve done it as a tourist visiting for a couple of weeks every few months. The opportunities for residents are clearly even better.

The odds are hugely in your favour on TLL. Right now, if I do a search for women who are online, aged between 20 and 30 and living in Thailand, I get 678 results. If I do the same for men, but change the age bracket to 20 to 45, there are only 149 hits. And it’s even better than that, as many of the men are either ladyboys, or obviously gay. However, all the women I met told me they receive many messages a day, so it’s easy to get lost in the noise of guys spamming them.

I started contacting women about a month before I was due to arrive. I targeted attractive women in their twenties, with no kids and living in Bangkok. I generally tried to become their friends on Facebook, as you can learn a lot about someone from that site. By the time I touched down at Suvarnabhumi Airport, I had more than twenty such women who’d expressed interest in meeting me. I ended up meeting six of them.

Much like dating in the West, it’s important to strike while the hormones are hot. Some girls who seemed really enthusiastic to meet only a few weeks earlier, didn’t return my messages after arrival. No big deal though, as I had plenty of choice. I didn’t even need to contact any new women post-arrival, as there were so many already in the queue.

I discovered that Thai good girls are ridiculously flakey. Anyone who’s dated knows that most women are flighty, but Thai girls take it to a whole new level. I had seven nights in a row when dates were rescheduled or cancelled mere hours before we were due to meet. This rarely happens to me in Sydney. Having a date organised with me is obviously bad luck, because the amount of sickness, rain, deaths in the family, urgent work demands and so on that follow is staggering.

Strangely, this flakiness wasn’t due to a lack of enthusiasm to meet, which is how I’d interpret it at home. They were still interested, just at a different time. They flooded me with encouraging messages, even after having just cancelled a date. I’d always end up catching them later in the week.

Sometimes, I think Thai women only date so they’ll have someone to send messages to. Every day I’d receive tones of instant messages from various ladies. They kept me up to date with their every movement, and assured me how much they liked me. If you like women who are in constant communication, then Thai girls are for you.

Anyway, let’s get down to my specific experiences.

N was the first girl from TLL who I met in person. She’s a 24 year-old barmaid who has an almost perfect body – slim but with boobs and a butt. Everywhere I went with her, I saw guys staring, their eyes popping out of their heads.

We arranged to meet at her workplace just as she was finishing up. We went to a nightclub for a couple of hours before I invited her back to my room. She ended up staying with me quite a few nights. She’s great fun, which is something I look for in a girl. She does have a tendency to get embarrassingly drunk though.

A few nights after we met, she dropped a bombshell on me. She started off with a few texts saying she thought I was a bad guy who didn’t care about her and only wanted sex. She then sent me a message no man wants to receive: “I was scared when I’m not let u fck me maybe you angry and kill me”.

What?!

I thought back and was pretty sure I’d done nothing to give her that impression. I’m a peaceful guy and can’t even recall the last time someone accused me of threatening behaviour. This was a serious accusation. If she repeated it to someone in authority it would certainly mean big trouble for me.

I briefly contemplated fleeing the country as images of the police knocking at my door and handcuffing me raced through my mind. Eventually, I called her to apologise and explain that I’d never do anything to hurt her under any circumstances. She told me it was okay and asked if she could come over because she missed me.

Later, she said she’d talked to her single friend about me, and the friend was interested in hooking up too. This was flattering. Because, you know, when I’m not threatening to kill people for refusing me sex, I think I’m a pretty decent guy.

M was the second girl I met. She’s a Facebook attention queen, with hundreds of pictures of herself made up and posing. She looked hot and was keen to meet, so I caught up with her for a drink. She works in a beauty salon, but seems to have plenty of money for expensive phones, clothes, make-up and nights out. She told me she has another “nighttime job”, but didn’t go into specifics.

She’s a wannabe-farang girl. She didn’t understand why I wanted to learn Thai when English is a much better language. She knows a lot about Western pop-culture and talked constantly about her many foreign friends.

She’d cancelled plans with friends and seemed excited to meet me, but as the night went on she gradually became colder. She left me with a kiss on the cheek and I assumed I’d never see her again.

She sent me a few “how r u?” messages over the next few days so I arranged to meet her again. We had dinner, and planned to go to a trendy bar. We had some time in between, so she suggested a trip to Soi Cowboy for a couple of drinks. A strange request for a second date, but it was okay with me; so I took her to Tilac.

Later in the trendy place, we bumped into some friends of hers – two white guys who clearly liked steroids and tattoos. She seemed disappointed when they left, and began chain-smoking and texting. Her friendliness level plummeted and I sat there being ignored, thinking about how to ditch her. She saved me the effort, by excusing herself for a visit to the toilet and never coming back.

The next day she posted a picture on Facebook of herself and a couple of Western girls giving attitude to the camera. She captioned it with: “biiiiiitches”.

T is a girl I spent a few hours messaging with while I lay on my bed. She sent me a few photos and I could see she is very attractive. She offered to send me a few racier pictures as long as I promised not to show anyone. Of course she could trust me with them. I’m a stranger on the internet, if you can’t trust me, who can you trust?

We met in the Aussie Pub on Sukhumvit 11. She’s a medical engineer and her work sounded really interesting. As well as lab research, she often travels around the country trying to sell expensive equipment. She said her customers often hit on her and she once closed a sale by letting one of them kiss her.

After a few hours, we went back to my room, where she jumped on me like a hungry animal. On the few nights I spent with her, we squeezed in an astonishing amount of sex. We went to RCA where she ground herself against me on the dance-floor for hours at a time. She considered me to be her boyfriend, but apparently her family thought I was only in it for the sex. According to her, I’m only the fourth man she’s ever slept with and she’d been celibate for almost a year previously.

One night, she cancelled a date because she had to entertain her family. I called N to come and meet me instead and we went out to watch the football. The next day, T sent me a message saying she’d been in the same pub and had seen me with another girl. This seemed like an unbelievable coincidence to me, but a similar thing happened to me not long ago in Sydney, so maybe I’m unlucky with this type of thing. I assured her that N was just a friend, and she seemed okay with it.

S is another girl with hundreds of photos of herself on Facebook. Many of them appear to be professional modelling shots, and she looks really hot in them. She was either spending a lot of money having photos taken, or she’d worked as a model. She assured me it was the latter.

She’s an engineer who works for a manufacturer. She twice cancelled dates at the last minute and turned up an hour late when I finally met her. She’s attractive enough, but I was disappointed to discover she’s not quite as foxy as she looks in the photos. I can’t say it was entirely unexpected though.

It was immediately clear that she really liked me and it wasn’t long before she was holding my hand and cuddling up. After the date, she bombarded me with messages asking if I liked her and when could she see me again. I didn’t have another chance to meet her, but she sent me a message just today telling me I was welcome to live with her when I come back to Bangkok.

B is 25 and really cute in a girl-next-door way. She’s one of the most ambitious young women I’ve ever met. As well as working for an international bank, she’s learning three languages, studying for a Masters at Thailand’s top university, and playing competitive badminton. She also recently bought a condo as an investment, after using her financial training to calculate the cash-flows and so on. She hates the “stupid girls who sell their bodies to crazy tourists”.

I took her to see Prometheus, which wasn’t the best choice of first date movie. We also went to the jazz bar at the Sheraton, which is highly recommended if you haven’t been. She told me she’s lonely and wants a boyfriend. I didn’t really feel any chemistry between us, but she still contacts me daily to chat.

A is a receptionist for a real-estate company and as sweet a girl as you could ever hope to meet. We went to Lumphini Park and sat on the grass together where we talked about the Thai language. She clearly liked me and offered to tutor me in Thai when I come back. I like her too, but she’s so sweet that I’d feel bad taking things any further and then breaking her heart. I’ll definitely maintain the friendship though.

Overall, my online dating experience was a good one and I look forward to doing it more when I move to Bangkok. It seems to me that whatever type of girl you want to meet, you can.

The complaints I hear about difficulties meeting decent girls just don’t seem valid from my experience. Yes, there are ups and downs, but you get those with women everywhere.

Maybe there was a golden period when things were better, but there’s still no shortage of opportunity for meeting good Thai girls. Those who’ve become disillusioned should try spending a year living as a single man in the West. Then they might see things with fresh eyes.

Napster





Stickman's thoughts:

As you have found, ThaiLoveLinks has rich pickings and is especially good for Westerners living in Thailand. I always think with online dating you have to make a fairly conscious choice abut what you're looking for which seems to boil down to just fun or something longer-lasting – and proceed accordingly.