The New Challenges
As an American who came here 10 years ago, I can say this place is not what it seems to be at first. When we come here as a tourist we definitely live a different reality than that which we will come to know as a resident.
When I arrived I felt like I had found Nirvana and that my handsome young stud thing I had enjoyed in my 20s and early 30s had returned. Paying for sex was something I had seldom even thought about back home, although I was aware that in my home country women prefer wealthier men. Plus no matter how fit and funny I was able to be, by my 40s the ability to provide for women and great looking women is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. Either marry your beauty queen or get out of the way so she can find a potential divorce settlement participant.
My country is where Viagra was invented and all those anti anxiety medications were born. It is competitive and that may be why so many new guys need to trumpet their financial successes. Not here pal unless you want to be a target.
As an American arriving here I was happy to perceive the lack of anxiety about yesterday or tomorrow and delighted to see how Thais could fall sleep laying on motorbikes or next to loudspeakers. Oh yeah, many sleeping medications come from my home country. Mai Pen Rai seemed like an awesome concept to me back then as I savored the blinding light of women better looking than many movie stars back home.
I am not anti-American. Of my 66 years, 51 years were there and it provided well for me in many ways. I offered up my life for the USA by enlisting during the Vietnam war, and have paid taxes every year since I was 18. It is a really beautiful country with wonderful experiences in my memory banks.
By my late 40s, women were just too much work and expense for my mind. And when I found a pathway to get here at 56, I thought why not.
No matter what we read or hear about or think about living here and enjoying these beautiful folks, we will get schooled living here I guarantee any newcomer or anyone who has vacationed here even dozens of times. If Brad Pitt were to walk into Rainbow 4, not only would he may not be recognized, but if he saw something he liked and wanted, he would be paying. Let's get this straight, unless you are 25 years old and fabulously handsome you are going to be paying for ladies. I don't care what stories someone tells as I think I have heard them all at Starbucks. And you will be glad to be paying as that settles the score, no lingering relationship stuff. My apologies to men who have been able to commit to Thai ladies and their families and hats off to those fellows as there are some very happy old boys with young children here. I have met a few.
For me, I guess I am selfish and have gotten more so in these years here. Being low down the totem pole buying a house is not in the cards as I just cannot go that route. Very often I meet men who complain that is exactly how their lives have turned out after marrying bargirls or good girls. Now their life savings go to pay for their wife's gambling debts.
My first choice as to where to live was Chiang Mai, then Phuket. I found Chiang Mai too alien as I spoke no Thai and felt the folks were not welcoming me in anyway back then in 2002. So I boogied down to Phuket and stayed a few years although the high prices and lower condo quality standards were compelling me north. And I really felt the southerners we're a bit angry. So I went to Pattaya and have stayed since 2005. It is not just about Soi Buakhao and Walking Street and everything possible is available in Pattaya once one gets past their preconceived notions about things and people here. I have quiet and beauty here and many options available. When someone finds someplace better I am interested.
Yes, we will be paying for sex and it is cheaper than home and that is the real reason we are here. The food, infrastructure, and safety add to the comfort one has and a generally very much more tolerant people than I grew up around are here. She wants to be paid now or later, and don't kid yourself, she always does.
Barfines I do pay until I know the girl better and can meet her away from the bar. I think freelancers are dangerous and their cost savings are not worth the risk they sometimes bring to the party. I know of 7 friends who have been drugged and stolen from by freelancers. What's worse is that we occasionally, seems like often, read of foreigners dying in their 50s in a condo room, usually attributed to alcohol. Police tell me it is more likely they were overdosed on the sleeping medications the criminal girls put in the farang's drink.
Since I know where the girl works, I have brought literally hundreds to my rooms in the various condos I have lived in and none of them stole a thing from me and they all know they are never to arrive without my permission via a phone call approval first. My place is a hell of a lot nicer than filthy short time rooms where a fee is required to use the unpleasant environment. I am not concerned with what others think about what I do at night or in the daytime as long as they know I am not a problem for them and in my building I am treated well and with respect. In Pattaya no facade of fake impressions seems to be required. <Pattaya is probably unique in this respect – Stick> Everyone knows why we are here. Who could be shocked in a town of a rumored to be forty thousand hookers under a hundred pounds body weight?
As I said, all things are available here. And, if you want to play the girlfriend effect you can do it and successfully as long as you are willing to pay and often. I know a great number of people here and some are with their women for years and all is well. But, I believe now that we all find out for ourselves and that may be the only way some of us can learn as we may be, or think we are, unique. This is about money, don't advertise how big your stack has grown.
Pattaya gets a bad rap from some of the vacationing hooligans and degenerate drunks one can see, but you don't have to associate with them or even near them as there is easy freedom of movement here.
I might add, the things that bother us from a different culture regarding how the Thais are is in every place one goes in Thailand. How can one reasonably expect anything different? Isn't it reasonable to expect Thais in Thailand? I do not have trouble with them as I am not telling them how to do things our way.
So any vacationers about to become residents, I hope to read about your experiences here where we try to help each other by sharing what we have learned.
There are many bright, articulate writers participating in this site and I enjoy all. It is always my intention to save some guy the grief I encountered and am certain changed me in some ways. Our values from western lands are worth preserving, and we cannot be like Thais. We just need to know how to navigate.
Just one more point. Any screaming, temper tantrum girl is a bully and will not change. Throw her out immediately, no exceptions, no sympathy. Sympathy is the card they practice and constantly play. Ignore her. We are going to be products from our own culture, please just know which ones can be exploited for your own safety and comfort.
The thing to remember about sex you pay for is that you don't have to fret about her or wonder if she is true and what you might have done better. Freedom…
Seems to be a lot of good advice here!