Thai Girls Online
In my previous post, I explored some of the challenges in finding a girlfriend in Bangkok. I was hoping that Stick would demonstrate
how my theory was wrong, and I was just not looking in that "magic place" where all the potential girlfriends were hanging out. But instead, the expert himself "mostly agreed" with me. Where does that leave us?
I concluded at that point that the Internet was the last frontier. So I set out to find a girlfriend there. Suffice to say, I learned a few things that are worth pointing out:
First of all, the girls online can be divided into 2 large categories: (1) nerdy and (2) hot.
The nerdy girls are generally good girls who would make great friends. If for whatever reason, girls find you unattractive, then perhaps this is your only realistic option, unless you want to try the bar girl route. But I think it's just as hard to convert a nerdy girl into a sexy girlfriend, as it is to convert a sexy bar girl into a good partner. Impossible? No. But the success rate is dismal. This isn't just my theory. I've tried. Most of these girls seem to be of the opinion that sexiness is bad (probably because they've been raised to believe that sex itself is generally bad). So they would rather dress like an 8-year-old girl, or a nun, than so much as a cute secretary, let alone a bar girl. Sometimes they're often in good shape with nice figures, but waste it all by dressing so badly. The other problem is that they can be incredibly shy. Even just going out to meet a guy is a huge deal for them. (Somehow, they don't seem to understand that we could have just met at a bus stop, instead of online.) So I've pretty much given up on this group, except as friends.
The hot girls, to my surprise, have generally turned out to be good girls as well. (I think the bad ones have no need of going online, as they already work in bars or other places where they can scheme to extract money from guys.) However, these online ones suffer from overchoice. They often top 100 contacts a day. There's no way that they can respond to all those messages. So the polite ones at least post a notice in their profile to the effect that they're overloaded and probably can't reply. I guess I'm lucky to have dated a few of them. But ultimately, I've realized that they're just not worth pursuing. The reason is that there's always a better guy for them. They have only to wait, and he'll show up in their inbox. And then, there's an even better guy if they wait some more. It goes to infinity.
I don't think they realize that there's an optimal point at which to stop looking. It's the point at which the new guy is only marginally better than the previous one, but took much longer to find. Same with us finding girls. When you're maxed on the quality of girl you can get, then it's probably time to make her your girlfriend, if you want one at all. After all, you're not getting any younger. (You might be getting richer, and more attractive in that sense. But do you want to be attractive for purely monetary reasons?)
But in the absence of this realization, what happens is that they rapidly drop off the radar. Phone calls or messages are not returned, or returned very late.
If you're looking for a wife, then there are a few decent services out there that can help you. And in that case, you can actually win, in theory anyway. But for anything less serious than marriage, you're going to encounter this overchoice problem on the part of the girls.
One case in point is a knockout gorgeous girl I met online. She was actually friendly and responsive as well. I was just curious about all this, so I asked her about her luck on the Web. Despite having literally thousands of guys to choose from, she explained that she was unable to find one that she was looking for. This would make no sense at all, unless you consider the effects of "overchoice psychology" that I've alluded to above. It causes us to expend evermore effort trying to discern the excellent from the fantastic. We get lost in that pursuit, and end up making no choice at all. Either that, or running out of time, and making an unwise choice in a panic.
So that's all for me online. I'm going to find girls in the physical environment. Not an easy task in Bangkok. There are plenty of gorgeous girls, but tend to have the issues that I mentioned in my previous post. I think that if you can survive in the countryside, then you're much better off doing so. An ignorant girl with a good heart who doesn't know how to use dating websites has a certain appeal. After all, you're not running after Thai girls because you want an Einstein. For me, I love the convenience of Bangkok and find myself unable, thus far, to give it up for the mountains or the beach. But I'm fully aware that this weakness on my part makes my girlfriend search all the more difficult.
You make many excellent points. The choice online is overwhelming and while some guys may start off genuinely looking for a girlfriend and a long-term relationship, when they realise what's out there they often changes their ways…