Readers' Submissions

Good Thai Girl Part 4

  • Written by Same Same
  • June 28th, 2012
  • 18 min read


I got into the BMW and recognized our usual driver. I told him I thought that I was getting a taxi "not tonight, tonight very special for you" I smiled nervously, knowing full well that G was not happy unless everyone has seen her (borrowed) white Beemer. We arrived promptly at HMS UR SCREWED. The driver told me he was returning to the home for G and Grandmother. I saw Mother and the Aunt walking towards me with smiles on their faces and I must say they looked very nice in the traditional Thai dress. Externally, there was an elaborately decorated jetty.

On and off during the last couple of weeks my feelings had been in flux, alternating from passion, desire, lust, frustration, hope, remorse and happiness. This emotional vortex had taught me very little, I needed to get some clarity to these increasingly muddying waters and I was wading into the depths of an underwater labyrinth and felt seriously out of my comfort zone. It made me feel very aware of the emotions that myself and farangs must go through when they find their Thai honey pot and how they manage to go into this type of life changing decision, are we blind or are we stupid?? probably both. I doff my hat to you guys and cannot begin to imagine the pain you must feel when these girls break you and throw you away. Also of course congratulations for the success and happiness many of you find.

We were seated by the staff and I found myself surrounded by at the least twenty plus relatives and friends. My core temperature and anxiety increased rapidly. Mother came and sat next to me and placed her hand on mine and smiled. I asked her if I could pay the bill for the evening and that I felt it was my, obligation she nodded her agreement and placed the two rings and neckbands on the table in front off me. Another rapid rise in temperature. Suddenly at the table everyone stood and mother took me by the hand to the center of the floor where I stood, feeling like a twat. I remember thinking that if G felt as I did and if she had any sense she would stay at home. I noticed Mother and Auntie leave with a member of staff, I remained standing and having no idea whatsoever of what was going on.

G entered flanked by Mother, Grandmother and her Aunt, with a hot cousin guiding Grandmother down the short flight of steps. I was speechless, G looked angelic in a white Thai costume decorated in gold silk ribbons and bows, she was also dripping in gold jewelry. I swear, I have never seen anything or anyone looking so radiant, she was my GTG and she looked (in my opinion) extraordinary. she approached and held out both of her hands, I took them and for that one moment I felt a huge wave of happiness wash over me. (I also, still felt like a twat). For the first time she whispered "I love you" what could I do, I was trapped and had no choice, I answered I love you too. Maybe I did in that moment, I don't know but things started to feel very very different for me. I was in this moment totally transfixed by her, she looked extraordinary, I felt tears forming in my eyes (still in twat mode). G had a tear on her cheek and Mother and Auntie had tears running down there faces. I concentrated on a vision of laundry maids arse and managed to gain a degree of control, don't get me wrong G had a very nice butt, but laundry maid, for me, had the best arse I have ever seen. Uncle stood beside us holding a white cushion with the rings and neckbands. I placed the neckband around Gs slender neck, she reciprocated with my neckband and I could feel her hands trembling as she struggled with the clasp. I placed her ring on the appropriate finger and G attempted to place the ring on my finger and pushed so hard to get the ring over my knuckle that blood dripped down onto the white cushion, a small noise escaped from my mouth and the audience laughed. " I sorry, I sorry" its ok and she decided to place the ring on my neckband. We were ushered to the table and then it hit me, I was engaged to be married!!! to a GTG who a few days ago had been on the phone screaming at her Thai boyfriend in my hotel room. I sat at the table with Gs hand in mine and knew I was in some deep shit.

Mother, Auntie and Grandmother were sitting opposite with hankies in hand smiling constantly and dabbing their eyes. Wait a minute grandmother was not dabbing her eyes she was pretending too but in reality she was glaring directly at me and picking her nose. She resembled Yoda of Star Wars fame, she continued to stare and I continued to stare back, could she see through my farang soul, could she feel the apprehension I felt, did she know what I knew, did she know more than I knew, very probably. G gave a squeeze of my hand as she noticed the growing sexual tension (lol) between myself and Grandmother. G snuggled into my neck, another first in such illustrious company, I think this show of contentment was aimed at Yoda. I kissed her cheek in response and turned and smiled at Yoda. She did and had been constantly fixing her eyes on me with no sign of a smile, my mind wandered to the Dementors, those ghostly figures in Harry Potter movies that suck and feed on all the joy and happiness, yes that's it, her name was now "Dementor" the dark demon of Bangkok.

G was now aware of this face off between me and Voldemorts demon, a quick exchange of Thai telepathy and Auntie arose from her chair and took Dementor to the rest room for a much needed hose down. (in fairness I never smelt any stale urine on her). I must show more respect.

I felt the vibrations in the floor as the HMS UR SCREWED maneuvered and glided away from the jetty. My voyage into the unknown had commenced. I recall sitting and gazing out of the starboard windows watching the very large clumps of water based vegetation drifting along, they moved through the water faster than the boat, I wondered if I could use them to leap across the width of the river ala James Bond style, as I gazed at them they took on the shape of alligators, I decided not to attempt this feat, I was already in the grasping jaws of death I might as well stay on the boat. I needed more alcohol. I am not well known for my drinking skills but I needed to reach that finely balanced plateau of inebriation, the slightly coherent state of inebriation, I ordered some Malibu and pineapple. ( I am fond of effeminate drinks). I also fancied a few Baileys and crushed ice, but they don't help my waistline. Food lots of food and lots of my impending friends and relations doing what the Thais love best, eating, drinking and gossiping. I found my comfort blanket in the arrival of a bottle of coconut rum and a cartoon of pineapple juice. (jiz city tonight).

The compare arrived, very hot, but I could feel Gs eyes on me so I concentrated on the Ladyboys who appeared in each corner of the dance floor. The band struck up, well the CD player did and the ladyboys started their routine to a Ricky Martin number. I am sure, well I know, I do have a inquisitorial vibe running through me about ladyboys and always had them on my to do list. Not bouncing but a blow job and maybe a rummage around and a tug on a cock. I was on a boat after all. (nuff said) well not enough actually, as men they must know how to deliver the ultimate blow job. (feel free to give me feedback). Please understand I do not want any poop deck stories!!!

Well as I sat there in morbid anticipation of the night ahead, it became clear that the cabaret would evolve around our engagement table. The boat was full of Thais and Japanese, I could not see any farang anywhere. I felt isolated and alone, at one point I even wished my mother was here!!! But as a South Londoner and an institutionalized racist maybe that wouldn't help. She lived through the war years and although it was the Germans bombing London, she had a deep loathing of all things Japanese, who had seen to the demise of a few family members. She was pissed off when I purchased a Toyota, fxxx knows how she was going to react when I walked into her home with my Thai honey pot on my arm. Well, predictably the ladyboys started on the farang to the absolute delight of every Asian on the boat. Anyway they got the atypical response from the inebriated Brit. It was Tango time with a bit of salsa, rumba and not Benny Hill but a copious amount of Ricky Gervase free style. ( I was and still am a strictly come dancing addict) Yes I do sometimes worry about some sexuality anomalies I may have. A few of the ladyboys had bigger shoulders than me, however I do a great deal of swimming and had good upper body strength, this enabled me to toss a few smaller gays around much to Gs amusement and delight. Yes, during my freestyle moments I did manage to get G on the dance floor. Several attempts at trying to pries her onto the dance floor failed, until I had an epiphany. I cha cha chared towards the compare, G was out of the chair in a flash, all of a sudden the Latin American music stopped and Lovebird by Eva Cassidy came on. So we commence with a very romantic attempt at a slow waltz and every time we passed the Dementor I would slide my hand from the small of Gs back to her very well toned derriere. (arse). This was greeted with laughter from the more open minded observer and an eeeeeooooiiiieeee from G and the usual "no, me I barrest" our Fred and ginger moment was over and I collapsed into my chair. A small round table appeared with two very cumbersome Ladyboys in heels waddling along with two lavishly garland chairs which they placed on the deck. G and I then relocated to the aft deck and I realized that maybe I should drink mineral water for the rest of the evening. We sat there for the rest of the evening whilst I discussed the art of Latin American dance and G sat with a glazed and somewhat vacant expression. (a look I had become accustomed to). The ladyboy antics continued inside with Benny Hill and Widow Twanky themed farce, the Japs love that shit, its hard to comprehend the naked brutality of their forefathers Asian Pacific empire. Especially when they sit in white shorts with white socks up to there knees and a pair of black or brown loafers. (seen a few Kiwis dressed like that).

I must say, at the end of the eventful evening I had had a great time which is in stark contrast to my feelings when I first arrived on the HMS IM SCREWED.

Departure to the hotel, with G for our first evening laying in each others arms and dare I say it, making love until early dawn, but no, my destiny was to be somewhat different. As we walked to the car I whispered some dirty talk into her ear. She usually enjoyed these moments, she stopped walking and said "I have minimalization" pardon? " I have naturalization" what? "I blood" fxxx!!! I ran back to the boat and got my rum, I didn't bother with the pineapple juice, if it tasted like cats piss I didn't give a shit!!! She continued to say that she needed to go home apparently the Dementor was having one of her moments and mother was a bit pissed. "I take care grandmother " my retort was, what about me and my giz session? the vacant expression returned. "you come home my home" followed by "we cudgeling" pardon? "we countering" what? " you hold me" ok I understand. I looked over to the Dementor who now had a broad smile on her face. (stitch up). G and the cousin went of to hose down the Dementor and I retired to the kitchen with my rum and searched for one of the dogs to kick.

I could hear mother gagging in the restroom. G reappeared in her pajamas as I looked at her attire I could see no point of entry. The Dementor slept downstairs adjacent to the a/c unit and G knowing my need for cold air set up two Cleopatra loungers opposite the a/c unit. I left the room for more rum and as I left I could see Dementor smiling again. G came into the kitchen looking very apologetic and we went to bed 8 feet from the Dementor. As I lay there I thought about my hotel bedroom, Gs large bed upstairs and the laundry maid. That is not entirely accurate and G and I fell asleep in each others arms.

We woke early for our trip to the Airport via the hotel to check out and pack. We arrived in the borrowed car and the driver was there and we chatted and drank coffee whilst G interfered with my packing, which in her opinion was unacceptable. GTG same same. We arrived at the Airport in rapid time, I tried to talk to G but she was busy playing about with all the fxxxing gadgets in the car, she also kept looking at her ring which she seemed to be thinking was to small!! GTG same same. We parked bang outside the Airport and adjacent to our check in area. The driver helped us and G stood their watching us struggle with the baggage GTG same same G was crying and held my hand tight, I am sure I saw here looking at the ring again, was she crying at my departure or was she crying because the ring was too small?. Myself the driver and G went to the check in desk, this and the parking surprised me but the driver kept showing some kind of badge. I could not see any flight information and I could not see anyone at the BA check-in. The driver stayed with the bags with the teak box under his arm. I showed my e-ticket at the information desk. She looked at me quizzically and smiled at G who continued to sob about her small ring. (in my opinion) during the telephone conversation G began to smile? I thought maybe the ring looks bigger under fluorescent lighting.. The telephone call lasted a while with constant study of the e-ticket then "you come wrong day, you plane go yesterday" shit! is their another flight? " another phone call and "Thai airways tomorrow" G was still smiling, I looked at my ring and it didn't look any bigger than it did yesterday. We ambled over to Thai Airways and the flight cost would be $3000 dollars, "too mut, to mut" G kept saying, probably thinking of how much shopping she could do for that amount of money. (I mean what was happening to me I was being controlled, I was meant to be the alpha male for fxxx sake). Darwin's theory of evolution, fxxx that, he should of sailed on the Beagle straight to Siam if he wanted to study a fxxxing species or two!!!! We left for the hotel to check in, G was back to doing her tiger impressions and as I said the ring looked no bigger to me. (maybe that's a gag to many with the ring hook line). whatever. We arrived at the hotel and I rang my travel agent in London, I was to stressed to go through all the booking nonsense here in LOS, especially with G doing her Forrest Gump routine. Yes, I do know that she was happy that myself and my wallet were going to be staying another day or so. I logged on the laptop and the email had arrived giving me all the flights from Bangkok to London Heathrow. G had explained to the driver what had happened and I'm sure he worked it out much faster than G. Well we went up to my room and laid on the bed, I was to stressed at my ineptitude to even think of some groin action no matter how hot she looked at this moment, even thoughts of laundry girl had evaporated to the back of my mind. I was looking at the flight options whilst G started to ease her hand into my pants. As she continued this assault on my man goods, I had another idea, as the blood slowly flowed to the small but rapidly expanding organ in my pants, I did some math. Assuming Asian girls do the five day thing and G started yesterday if I'm lucky with 3 or 4 days with nil by mouth and if I stay for 7 days max I would get some fiancé action and maybe even see the seaside and that bikini I had been stopped several times from buying. I booked Jet Airways Bangkok to London via Mumbai in 7 days time at a very reasonable price of $900 G smiled as she eased me in-between her breasts and worked out that she had $2100 to invest in her wardrobe.

I was aware, seriously aware that my testicles were retracting into my lower intestine, I was also aware that my backbone was slowly being absorbed into my backside. was this the de-evolution of a species? was this the demise of a shallow self centered mongerer or worst of all was this a mass extinction or was this just me? All my senses were screaming at me, and with one deep stare into my honey pots eyes and all these feelings would melt away. No I was to reassert my basic instinct of hunter gatherer as long as I had Gs blessing (joke), if she thinks she is controlling me I will revert to my Freudian ID and return to my cave to draw on the walls.

I made a call to the agency I told them I had screwed up and missed my flight back to the land of cold, he said "if I had a pound (cent) for every client who told me this I would be a wealthy man" well after the money I had paid, as far as I was concerned he was bloody wealthy. Actually that's not fair, however one small criticism I would make is that his website should have a direct link to this site. I understand why he does not do that, because most of his potential clients may never call or email. However after he receives the initial significant fee he should mention this site. ( they do recommend that you read all you can which is Thai related). Where was I? ahh yes, the next 7 days were fantastic and G still rejected all things beach and bikini related, she did swim with me but it was late at night and she was dressed like a ninga, sun, water being seen by me??? and others. According to her your skin could brown from moonlight or maybe the glow from bad spirits. One day in her bedroom we were looking at some potential honeymoon destinations ( I was determined to get her in a bikini) and during a sexual attack I knocked my beer all over her pc tower unit 12, 000bt later she was happy! The agency had given good advice on all the processes we needed to comply with, letters (recorded) itemized phone bills etc etc, I had no problem in doing this but G and I had agreed to take it slow and although I was, as I think she was committed. I still had reservations regarding a Thai boyfriend, her mothers agenda, immaturity and would she be able to cope with life predominately based in the UK, I was never going to agree to an LDR, especially with a Thai honey pot. The brother living, working and studying in the UK was also a minefield as far as I was concerned and although she had opportunity to spend time with him I selfishly thought of my priorities and I did not want or need to relocate to Central or Greater London. Having said all that, the here and now, at that time, was a good place to be.

The final day at the Airport wasn't to bad and G needed to return to work. She cried and was a bit put out that I didn't. I tried to explain why I was not crying and I got the vacant stare. In all fairness her English had improved significantly and her enrollment to an English language school had been organized, with frequent Skype sessions with myself and "T" it would improve. I have done her some injustices in these submission, she is a very bright girl but as is so common in Asia (in my opinion) her common sense is almost non-existent.. Perhaps that is what the elegant lady at the agency meant when she called her a silly girl. Time would and did tell.

To be continued. Jade, Home for 10 weeks, cyber sex, female ejaculation, the ever-decreasing circle of love, the straw that broke the camels back.