Stickman Readers' Submissions June 23rd, 2012

Good Thai Girl Part 3

As I said earlier I am well aware of most things Thai and I knew and always adhered to the fundamentals of courtship in the LOS. Do not look at other girls when you are with your Thai honey pot. Well G had caught me red handed with the Laundry maid. I
was now watched and scrutinized on a constant basis. I am quite flattered by this and will never understand why a balding grey mid to late forties Brit would be a catch (money forgot that one). G was a very attractive pale skinned Bangkok girl
who was 27 years old and in my humble opinion would have quite comfortably fitted into any middle class Thai family. But what do I know (or was the deception that good). Could a GTG be that good in the bedroom (on reflection many normal western
girls in my past had been very conservative and aspiring middle class and been very open minded in the bedroom).

Oh yes, Mr C's driver and car the home visit and the jewellers. I called Mr C just to let him know we were going to his home and collecting his trinkets from the jewellers. He asked to speak to the driver and then the phone was handed
back to me. We had a quick chat whilst G sat playing with the gadgets in the back of the car. (27 going on 13). Mr. C told me to make sure I had all the relevant documents from the jewellers because I may need these for customs / immigration,
whatever. He then asked to talk to G, why I said?, to help you, one good turn deserves another etc. Interesting, had no idea what Mr C was up to, but saw no harm in it, I was sure from what little I knew of him that his intentions were honourable.
I handed the phone to G who looked very apprehensive but took the phone. They were chatting away for at least 15 minutes and G was concentrating intensely at whatever Mr C was saying. she kept looking at me and smiling and almost cooing. They
bade goodbye and Mr C was chuckling down the phone. Everything ok I inquired " yes no problem, nice girl" we had a quick banter about nothing in particular and he asked me to call him that evening from the hotel. Well I must say the
house was spectacular, very nice indeed, I checked the few things I needed to check and we left for the jewellers. G always held my hand most of the time to state that I was her man and that no one was to piss on her territorial boundaries, for
some reason since her conversation with Mr C the intensity of her general persona had changed markedly. She always looked at me in that typical Thai girl style but now I had elevated to a much higher pedestal, in my mind anyway, things appeared
to be far more intense. We arrived at the jewellers and Gs excitement became like a teenage boy just about to receive his first blow job. We were followed by the driver and taken to a side room and a staff member placed a small teak box on the
velvet covered table. As usual being a non-detail man I had absolutely no idea where we were. Well when the guy opened the box it even impressed me. These Jade pieces were stunning, intricate, delicate and mounted with gold and what I believed
were emeralds and ruby's for the eyes on the small lion, tiger and panther figures. The most stunning piece was a dragon figure. There was also a very small teak box again decorated with what appeared to be gold leaf or very delicate gold
plate. G was having a perfect moment. We left and drove to the hotel with lots of paperwork that I needed to keep with the teak box at all times. (whatever). The hotel manager was waiting for us at reception and went off with the driver and the
teak box. They returned boxless and the driver handed the car keys to G who was bouncing up and down like Tigger of Winnie the Pooh fame. So there I was, now with a scatty overexcited GTG with the keys to a $75,000 BMW.

He Clinic Bangkok

Life was good for G and I only felt fear, I was with an inept GTG motorist who has as much concentration as a goldfish, the goldfish would be driving me around Bangkok at night. I had to call Mr C, it went along roughly as follows;

Hi C, it's me.

Much Laughter from Mr C.

CBD bangkok

Why have you given her the bloody car!

Much laughter from Mr C.

What did you say to her on the phone?

Much laughter from Mr C.

wonderland clinic

Is the car insured?

Much laughter from Mr C.

Are you crazy!

Much laughter from Mr C.

Well in the end Mr C categorically assured me that G would not crash or damage the car. He obviously had never seen G drive. I always get cramp because I am constantly breaking in the passenger side foot-well as she veers towards tuktuks,
motors and the odd bus or pedestrian as she buggers about with the CD player. well as I said on your head be it.

Mr C went on to explain that the driver would take Gs car back to her home and that G could use the BMW until I left for the UK. He also told me that he wanted the driver to take us to the airport for my departure. No problem, whatever. As
we finished the call he told me the car had front and side airbags and laughed, whatever. (I was obviously now somewhat red flagging Mr Cs generosity, was this Jade undertaking going to end in tears).

We now had a few days left before my departure back to the land of cold. I called the agency and told them their was to be no sin sod and that we would get engaged before I left. I hastened to add that we would be taking things a little bit
slower and would take the fiancee visa option. I felt it better that I spent a few months in the UK with G before we went into the deep water. Mother asked me what I wanted to do and I suggested a family get together preferably on the river with
a ladyboy cabaret. Yes I know, a bit Benny Hill , but the Thais love that stuff. (in my opinion). Mother made all the arrangements and we had another meeting to discussed the engagement situation, all agreed that whatever way we looked at this
our courtship was about 18 days young and that I was happy to purchase two reasonably expensive rings as a token of our future intent. It was also agreed that I would return in a few months (September from memory). We would then have a more elaborate
engagement party and then it would be acceptable for G and I to have a beach vacation for a few days. The only other task I needed to undertake was to meet brother and show him my home and introduce him to some family and friends.

I remained guarded at this time and I knew that I had feelings for G, but, I was nowhere near falling in love with her. This worried me a great deal. No words of love had passed between us. One afternoon in the room we were laying in bed
and I broached the subject. I asked her what were her feelings for me and how did she feel about committing to many years together. She replied "up to you" I thought this may happen, and I was less than impressed. A call to "T"
in California was urgently made.

We spent an hour on the phone to "T" his English after prolonged stints in America was very very good and he was obviously close to G. We discussed how we felt about each other and G confirmed that she was in love with me. I told
her that I had deep feelings for her and that I was sure that given time together I would love her. "T" suggested a joint wedding in a years time (crafty move by "T" didn't actually see that one coming). G seemed very
happy about this idea. I was brutally honest and explained to G via "T" (G&T) haha, I explained that I had doubts about Gs true feelings for me, G cried. GTG same same. When composed she said she was very upset with my words. She
looked after me, she washed for me, looked after my things, cooked for me, made love to me, shared all her things with me, I had met her friends, met her family, taken me places, shown me places, she would learn English and work in England all
this she said, she did for me. I felt a little guilty at this time but I was still concerned. Guilt kicked in and I agreed to take G shopping the following day. We would pick out the rings and a gold necklace and some clothes.

That night we drove to Gs home and agreed to dinner not far from the house. G agreed to have a drink with me in the local bar/restaurant. Because we were drinking we flagged a couple of motor taxis. I am not an aggressive guy, but I do not
like people sniping at me especially behind my back and in a foreign language. When I was younger I was bullied at school and out of desperation attended a boys boxing club, I was never a good boxer but I learnt how to put 3 or 4 combinations
together and more importantly I knew how to land a punch. I was at this time feeling somewhat stressed at the pace of things in LOS. Before we jumped on the bikes I told G I needed some Drum backy and papers, and if she went to the restaurant
I would pop in to 7-11. The two taxi-bike guys obviously knew G and they had a quick chat before G left. I went in 7-11 and only having one small bill had to give the girl a 1,000 baht. this caused a problem and I waited for 5 minutes whilst they
sorted out some change. I left the store and both taxi-bikes were there, the restaurant was only 2 km up the road.

I heard farang a few times and some laughter interspersed with a few choice words and phrases obviously referring to me and more importantly G. I walked up to them both and smiled, and said "you have problem" one smiled to diffuse
my obvious displeasure but the other guy told me to fxxx off. I smacked him on the jaw and he went down. You know when you connect and get a crack rather than a thud, he is not going to get up in a hurry. He tried to stand but fell over again.
I knew I had made a grave mistake. As you can imagine within seconds I was surrounded by several taxi-bikes. I retreated (French, Italian style) into the 7-11 hoping that the CCTV may offer some protection from my pending beating.

One of the security guards turned up (he attended the gate to Gs housing complex). having seen the incident and although he had arrived to try and diffuse the situation, by the way he looked at me made it clear that he was less than impressed
with my actions. None of the lynching party spoke any good English and my options seemed limited. Within 5 minutes the boys in brown turned up and I had noticed the security guy on a cell phone, my moronic behaviour has now come home too roost.
G turned up in a pink taxi and emerges looking less than happy. She gave me a neutral type of stare and started talking to the boys in brown. They approached the still dazed taxi-bike guy and after much hand waving and points to his swelling jaw,
his cell phone and motor G came over held out her hand and said "give me cell phone please". She was circling the area and appeared to be scrolling through my phone menu with amazing concentration. (G and concentration, this was a first).
I remained standing in a very subservient posture and contemplated my navel. G was now talking on my cell phone. After 10 minutes she handed me the phone this time with a reassuring small smile on her face. It was Mr C on the phone!, he was very
calm and told me I had acted very foolishly and would need to hand over some money, he suggested that I give my wallet to G. I told him I would call him later, he said he forgave us for waking him at 3 AM. By now G had an on off relationship with
my wallet, this is due to myself usually having smaller bills stuffed in every pocket of my shorts and pants, which she would stash in my wallet in efficient rows of bill denomination. A small rugby scrum rapidly formed around motor boy and his
bike, I remained passive and stared at my feet. I watched as G placed MY wallet in her bag, she took my hand and we got in the taxi and headed to the hotel.

The hotel was a ten minute drive in silence, other than my apologies and thanking her for saving my arse. We arrived at the room and rather than the usual frantic limb entanglements we actually, dare I say it, made love. G had her usual 15
minute snooze and whilst I had a beer and a rollup she showered. During this time I waited and wondered when my wallet would reappear. G dressed and I suggested that as it was long past midnight she should stay, the usual ooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeee
and a look followed with "I go grandmother". G left for home in a taxi with my wallet. "I come early we go shopping" (shit).

G arrive at 9 am, another first. no bouncing and straight to reception, she was on a mission! I went to get a taxi, G said "no I drive BMW we need car for shopping" my stomach groaned and the acid gathered in my throat. (a GTG with
my wallet, I was screwed). Her driving was now impeccable, she even used the mirrors for more than checking her lippy and mascara! Whilst she drove I called Mr C. The upshot was that during his very long telecom with G on our way to his home,
he had suggested that if at any point she thought she needed advise or guidance from him, she should call. I asked how she knew his number, he laughed. " do you actually believe she had not gone through you phone, room, wallet, clothes etc
etc etc at any given opportunity" nuff said (when I swam probably). I made a mental note to change my laptop password and keep laundry maids details secure in the hotel safe box. On the drive when G had a trak on the stack CD in the boot
she didn't approve of I got "please change song, I not like". in less than 24 hours the pecking order has been adjusted. GTG same same. We arrived at a mall and G handed me my wallet, "we need ATM" oh I thought its "we"
now! Its easier to do a list of the shopping essentials, here goes.

Gifts for Mother, Grandmother, Auntie, Uncles, numerous cousins, numerous friends, numerous co workers, numerous neighbours, security guards at the gate (both shifts) and the women who walked her dogs and the dogs themselves. Their were others
but my brain was frazzled by lunchtime. (yes the day was not over, not over by a long shot).

We rested for lunch, I was shocked that Gs energy remained at a high level, I had never seen her go this long without a nap. During the peak of her morning shopping activities I had attempted to get a bikini only to get the oooooooeeeeee
and mandatory "I good girl" yeah right. Followed by "you good boy, no I think you not good boy" whatever.

During lunch G explained that she had given bike boy 3,500 baht (I had damaged his cell and the bike, bullshit), boys in brown 1,500 baht (3 of them) and the security guy 500 baht, apparently the security guy was the one who called her at
the restaurant.

Phase 2 of shopping was the jewellers, Gs first mission was a gold necklace for me and her, I told her I did not wear jewellery and that I didn't really want it. A quick squeeze of my hand and a glace and she said "I but you gold"
what? "I but you" " we have comuterment" sorry what? "comuterementing" what? she grabbed the electronic thing typed away and thrust it under my nose. Commitment! "all time you wear gold, I but you, you always
on what but you" ok, ok I got the idea. 1 hour later and I must admit, she chose two very classy matching gold and white gold neckbands, hers was 12,000 baht and mine 9,000 baht (there's a shock) she made a big deal in handing over her
plastic. I was mentally preparing myself for the rings and my plastic was actually perspiring. She was happy and explained that tonight on board HMS IM SCREWED we would place the bands on each others necks. She packed her handbag and we were leaving?
What about the rings I inquired, she said "we not but ring" ? "already have" what? "ring already have, we not but, already have". Ok? Now we were off to get her outfit for the evening and I was also to get a linen
suite apparently. She picked mine and I was to wait in Starbucks whilst she did her thing. (she was very assertive now).

After another hour she returned and in-tow were about 6 friends. Much excitement and jolliness ensued in Starbucks, I just sat with my latte, tethered like a lamb awaiting the lions attack.

"We go hotel now" yes boss I said, much laughter after my boss comment (her confidence was soaring and thinking about it getting a bit up herself) not a good sign (in my opinion).

Back at the hotel G spoke at reception and the manager appeared with the small teak box and handed it to me? I gave it to G having no idea what was going on. She opened the box and squealed at the sight of two rings in gold and white gold?
WTF. The friends were all there jumping up and down like a herd of tigers all 27 going on 13! The manager ushered us to the bar and a few bar staff served us champagne? WTF. Now I am perplexed to say the least, all credit to G she can see I am
confused and bewildered by all this activity she comes over and sits on my lap and kisses me. She has never ever done this in company, she move to a chair next to me and whips out the electronic thing. Thirty minutes later I understand these events.
My friends who are good friends of Mr Cs had a whip-round in the UK and asked Mr C to procure the rings as a gift to me from them, in the event of me meeting a GTG these were to be given to us as an engagement gift. (I was honestly touched by
this gesture).

G left the hotel and headed home with her posse of tigers, with strict instructions for me to be ready to leave at 8pm, she would send a taxi to escort the lamb to the slaughter house.

HMS IM SCREWED was in harbour and prepared for sail. I sat in the bar for a while, I needed alcohol. The Japanese kept wandering over bowing and shaking my hand I just sat at the bar bewildered by all these events over the last 20 days or
so. I was contemplating doing a runner, honestly that's how I felt. This whole situation had immersed me in a sea of doubt.

I was scared very scared. I went to the room and showered dressed and wandered down to reception. The manager pointed out that I had not shaved so I went back to the room, my brain at this time was just not functioning at any level. I went
to reception and this time the manager pointed out that I had gym shoes on. I returned to the room. The manager followed me and did a check of my attire, shoes wallet etc. He obviously knew I was struggling with all this. The slaughter house taxi

To be continued (Football's on) – Ladyboys, British Airways leave without me, menstruation, cold feet, female ejaculation and cyber-sex. the return to LOS and the ever decreasing circle of love.

nana plaza