Readers' Submissions

Translating Help



If we insist on getting further acquainted with sex salespeople, it may be useful to put together a few guides to translation and I mean in English.

"You think too much", means stop trying to figure out when I am lying, I mix in the truth and lies to a formula I believe is most to my financial benefit. If you keep doing this I will occupy a lot of your thoughts and make you suffer.

"You talk too much" means remember I am a sexually mature third grader, and my English is quite limited, and besides I don't want to answer you anyway and expose myself.

"Uhh', a grunt normally indicating yes.

"Uaaah", means no.

"I in my room (or loom) means I could be laying next to the fattest, most red-faced, geriatric from anywhere in the white-skinned world and he smells like cheese. But she is so confident she has him under control she can string on the caller a bit while winking at the customer present.

Cheerful tone of voice speaking in Thai means she could be speaking with a Thai person she actually is fond of, maybe the guy she gives the money to. Or the older "sister".

Silence, the strongest tool in her kit. This is normally in response to a question important to you and she knows it. By not answering she is adhering to the Isaan power code of IGNORING anything that might reveal the truth. Used in all sorts of contexts to demonstrate their contempt. Since the compassionate person from an educated world seeks answers this will help increase his frustration and send him up the let's get nutty elevator!

"Up to you". What is the most you will pay? what is your commitment? 500 – 1,000 is a normal Pattaya response.

"Give me one million baht." Recently I was given this insult and was prepared for it. My response was, "I am coming over to your room to discuss this." When I got there she asked again and I laid back on the bed and said. "I like you, a million is a lot of money though and I am thinking 5 (her eyes got big) BAHT and handed her a five baht coin. Guileless entity that she is, she kept holding out her hand like those beggars sitting down on the second road curbs in Pattaya.

"I like you and want to boom boom you all night", means you look like a chump, maybe I could steal something while you snore!

"I want stay long time with you" means she is looking for a bigger kill.

The mamasans frequently advise these young ladies while they are taking their money playing cards at 5 AM on the ways to get big scores from foreigners. I have to ask myself why would anyone take advice from a 40-year old who is so broke she has to work in smoky bars dealing with drunks and volatile young hookers? How successful has she been? Wouldn't one aspire to take council from a successful person?

"I like old man, me no like young man" translates into I am looking for the most amount of money for the briefest amount of work!

Catch and release should be our motto. If someone out there has the disposable income to make it last with the more attractive bargirls, hats off to him, or her.

To me, going to the bar for anything other than a short term encounter could be compared to going courting at a mental institution!

I'm just saying anyone else out there with some other phrases?

I am wondering how long working in the bars completely changes them from humans. I've seen some last six months. Of course the homely ones last longer, but they alienate us by screaming "WELCOME" in our ears as we pass them by.

Some guys say "2 weeks".

Others wisely points out you can never have a long term relationship with a chronic liar.

Lying for the ladies of the night seems to be a way of life to protect the "face" concept. Educated Thais have told me they believe the face concept is so strong here it gets in the way of many forms of productivity. I don't know, there are many aspects of Thailand that function rather well.

As an older man who has lived some of his life in Europe (5), 50 years in the USA, and nearly ten here, I think people don't differ all that much in their motives worldwide, just how they go about getting it seems to vary.

The young abnormally attractive girl from the northeast has limited options we'd all agree, since she doesn't go to the rote memorization school system for many years. She grows up running from her father to fleeing the young guys back home. She certainly knows she has something they all want.

Once she comes here and dances before an audience of Viagra-fueled drooling 35 – 80 year olds, she seems to get an inflated sense of self worth and what they need to do in this world to thrive and survive. I think many of us would agree that the girls we meet in their first few weeks are absolutely loving and truly open to being with one of us. The guys with the energy and smarts to learn Thai really have an edge. I speak a few hundred words and am too old to remember the news ones I try to store. Speaking English and German seems to have me substituting words in the wrong language half the time. But, I get by. Maybe another Thai class will stave off senility?

Since I am not much of a writer, I send these in to try and help any new guy here, as the site has helped me survive and not lose my small estate of these years. Stick I have met on a few occasions and am genuinely fond of him and want to contribute to his site in anyway I can as many more of us would have fallen for this fleecing that is going on than already have.

I've read that the Thai legislature has discussed outlawing marriages between Farangs over 50 and Thai women ( it didn't say their age restriction), because in Phuket the destitute old flanges whose Thai wives have picked them clean are a burden on the health system. <Keep an eye in my column a couple of weeks from now when I might just have a shocking world exclusive on thisStick>

Men, let's make sure we are not in that category!

Stickman's thoughts:

Humorous, but also so much truth in this. Still, despite these wise words, some guys just don't listen….!