Stickman Readers' Submissions March 7th, 2012

The Massage Girl Always Rings Twice

I don't really know where to start…

I am in my 30's, I have everything that I can wish for in my life. I am married for almost 10 years to a good Thai woman, I love her very much, we have a lovely son, various businesses, lots of good friends and live in a Western-European country. We travel a lot around the world for business, and we have small condos in Bangkok, Hong Kong and the Caribbean.

He Clinic Bangkok

My wife is a very smart and good looking Thai woman, she studied at a Bangkok university and has worked at a financial institution in Thailand and since almost 10 years in Western Europe. I bring in more than enough money every month, but she brings in even much more than me, a 5 digit monthly euro-salary after taxes. We have a great son who is doing fine at school. We are healthy and life is good except for some issues with tax authorities, but then again who doesn't have that problem?

My Thai wife has always told me that if I really feel the need I can go for some temporary fun with another girl, there are just 3 rules (in correct order of importance to her):

1. No Thai girl.

2. Safe sex.

3. Only sex, no love (so no mia nois, no dating, not taking care of another girl).

I broke all 3 rules. I am so fxxxing stupid.

CBD bangkok

I know the rules, so over the years I have neglected some of the advances by girls that I know. I know that if I feel the urge, I better go to a working girl, ok I have to pay, but you don't pay for sex, but for the girl leaving afterwards. Causing no problems or breaking of rule #3.

Despite lots of business travel in Asia and many other places around the world, in the last 10 years I never really felt the urge to go with another girl.

This changed some time ago. While on business travel in a Western-European country I went to the place of an independent Thai-massage-girl. There was…erm..let's call her Nok Noi. I don't know why I suddenly made the decision to go there, everything was going fine, there was no specific reason. Anyway I was tired from a very long drive and initially I went for a just massage. I was kind of curious for body2body massage with another woman. What happened in the next hour was something that I find hard to describe. My heart started beating for real again. While being with Nok Noi my heart was physically beating like crazy at times. I don't know for sure if any girl could have caused my feelings to go wild after 10 years being with only one woman, or if it was Nok Noi specifically.

I was her last customer for the day, and it was already past midnight and after that one hour massage, she asked me to stay and sleep with her for the night. Nok Noi said I only have to pay for her 1 hour work, not for staying overnight with her.

wonderland clinic

Despite knowing better, that night I stayed with her, the next night again, and the night after that too. I have never had an experience like this. Nok Noi can give so much love, and I am not only talking about sex.

And this is about the time where things started to get problematic. Those nights were the start of me falling deeply in love with Nok Noi.

Nok Noi is also in her 30's and is in many ways the opposite of my wife. They are both from Thailand, but that's about the only similarity. Nok Noi is very sexy, lots of drama, mood swings, at times reacts aggressive, makes me often feel stressed, she smokes, lives day-by-day, makes crazy threats, has silly ideas, we can't communicate very well beyond basics because of language and "level-of-understanding" reasons. I am not really painting a nice picture here of Nok Noi. Why do I still want to be with her? The answer is… she can give so much love and is very lovable, again I am not only talking about sex.

In the next months we saw each other on several of my business trips. I took Nok Noi with me when I was travelling. In between trips we had emotional discussions about that we should stop, sometimes it was Nok Noi who initiated, sometimes it was me. Nok Noi was afraid for the (future) reaction of my wife if she would find out. Me and Nok Noi loved to spend time together and every time one of us would get back in contact, mostly within 24 hours after an emotional discussion.

At first I would take Nok Noi to the most expensive restaurants. I thought I had to impress her. But soon we discovered that we both liked to go to the cheap traditional Thai restaurants. Eat laap-kai and fish in red curry. I did not have to impress her, she had so many clients with a lot more money than me who would try to impress her and take her anyway to the most expensive hotels and restaurants. So while we were together, we did not care about any of this. We did not waste money on these things.

I have learned already early in life that love is deeply intertwined with money, but except for the very first hour I have been with her for massage, Nok Noi never asked for money. Nok Noi does not want money from me. Even more so, while being with me she was losing money to the tune of at least 750 Euro per day. Nok Noi has many regular clients and she has a small fan-club of guys who take her away for several days and pay her outrageous amounts. For I don't know how many years she has been earning at least 20,000 EUR per month cash and she does not spend much, which is from what I have heard, kind of an exception for a massage girl. I know for a fact that she still has tons of cash money, because I have been with her to just 2 of several of her safety deposit boxes at different banks and have seen it with my own eyes. If Nok Noi wanted, she alone could help out Greece in 2011/2012 from defaulting on their loans.

It did not feel right, but I could accept what she was doing. While being with her, hearing that phone ring so many times per day made me feel bad every single time when it rang, but I could accept it and even let her pick up her phone in my presence, making appointments. I hate that ring tone so much. Even though Nok Noi did not ask money from me, I believe she loves money more than anyone or anything else. I knew that asking her to stop doing her work meant I had to provide her with at least 10,000 Euro cash per month, and even then it's no guarantee that Nok Noi will not supplement / double her monthly income the easy way.

After some time I decided that I wanted to see her more often and it was too much trouble to meet only on business trips and I asked her to move to my city. This was a risky move, as in my city there is a large Thai community and I am well known in this Thai community, because of the business activities of my wife.

Still, I let her come over and she resided in an apartment a couple of blocks away from me and my family. She would stay 2 weeks in my city and then go back for 2 weeks to her city (in another Western-European country) to work. While she was in my city we would meet 2 times per day. In the morning before work and at the end of the day. She would cook delicious Thai food for me and I would first eat with her and then eat again at home.

The type of business Nok Noi is in can be run from anywhere, so soon she started getting clients in my city too and after a while she did not even have to go back for 2 weeks anymore.

I often wondered and still do about, how can a guy accept his girlfriend is sleeping with so many other men all the time? I think it's all about love and understanding the situation and options. But I will tell you if I ever find out for real.

Somehow I tricked myself in thinking there was nothing wrong with this situation. I was not taking care of Nok Noi. She was just a temporary girlfriend. OK, I broke rule #1. Did I break rule number #3? Yes, I love Nok Noi so much, but I let myself believe it is all not a big deal yet. Anyway rules or no rules, it doesn't matter anymore. This situation is wrong for all parties involved.

I feel very bad for my wife and son. My wife has been very good to me. And look what I am doing. I am disgusting.

My best friend who I can tell anything once asked me, "Who is the lucky one, do you have a picture?" My reply was that there are no lucky ones anymore in this situation.

Then Nok Noi got pregnant by me.

I am living a double life, I am mostly happy, I am very tired. I used to be very positive, strong and decisive. I am living day-by-day now, I have no overview anymore. I need help and advice.

I am planning to write the previous part in more detail and more about the rest. We are long past the part where there was still a chance for a happy end.

At this time, it stops here with the thought that is constantly running through my mind:

If you think you are falling in love with a massage girl, run away and run fast, while you still can…



Up until she got pregnant it wasn't difficult. Now…wow, it is really difficult. It will be interesting to see where this goes next….so please do keep us up to date!

nana plaza