Stickman Readers' Submissions February 16th, 2012

American Guy Survives Murder Plot From His Vietnamese Wife In Vietnam, Be Careful In Vietnam

I made the mistake of believing and marrying a Vietnamese girl and almost got killed by her and her people in their attempt to steal everything I had. Read my entire story on my blog but also read my analysis below in regards to a similar situation on a post on this site where an Australian guy went through a very similar experience.

I am going to point out the similarities between my experience in Vietnam and this Australian guy’s story which is almost identical to mine, except I knew my girl worked in a sauna.

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You can read the Aussie guy’s story here : A Vietnamese Tale – My Perfect Wife.

Like the Australian guy thought about his girl, I thought Hong was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen & her smile melted me straight away. She spoke very little English but seemed keen to know all about me, using friends as translators
as we asked each other questions.

Like the Australian guy, I learned that Hong dreamed of marrying a western guy, wanted children, only wanted to love one man all her life, did not like Vietnamese men, and did not like young men because they are too crazy.

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Like the Australian guy’s girl, Hong hated working where she did but did so to support her family & had never had a boyfriend despite nearly every guy in town trying to date her at one stage.

Like the Australian guy thought of his girl, I loved Hong’s humor, beautiful face, melting smile, perfect body, caring nature, family values, honesty, tenderness & grace and her family was very hospitable & I felt like part
of the family. I gave the family money so that Hong did not have to work.

Like the Australian guy’s wedding, I discovered that someone had stolen the money Hong had put aside for the photographer

Like the Australian guy’s wedding, Hong’s family kept all of our wedding money.

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Like the Australian guy, after realizing my wife was scamming me, my heart was filled with anguish & rage. Thoughts of revenge frequented my mind. My will to be a good person to others is no longer constant. I lost faith in myself, love,
goodwill & the world. I felt overwhelming guilt at the pain I have brought my family. I felt overwhelming embarrassment at allowing myself to be fooled in such a big way. These feelings have subsided somewhat but the emotional scars will probably
always remain with me to some extent. I will never be the same person as before, for better or worse I am not sure.

Like the Australian guy thought of his girl, I think back on things & ask myself questions about how I feel now. Do I wish that I never met Hong? The answer would have to be NO. First off, I have a beautiful, sweet son who lives with
me here in America. Secondly, for nearly two years I was the happiest I have ever been in my life in many ways. The time I spent with Hong was the most enjoyable relationship I have ever had with anyone. For a short time I did enjoy having the
perfect wife, something most men will never experience. She had the looks & body of a model & many men worldwide will only ever dream of being with something so fine. Perhaps I am lucky to have been her Perfect Fool. The crash landing
was very painful but the flight itself was the most amazing experience that I would trade for nothing. I do wish I was there for my grandmother when she died though, instead I was chasing this soulless cretin in Vietnam. But, I was in love &
it felt wonderful. The fact I was in love with a fictitious character being acted out by a very convincing actress does not change the fact that I was in love. I will always love the girl she pretended to be. I somewhat admire the girl she really
is. The girl deserves an Oscar. She even hugged & kissed me more than usual just before each murder attempt that her loser people didn’t have the courage to follow through on. Perhaps she did love me but was forced to do this by her
family, the Hoa Hao & the Triads. Would I have done things differently given another chance? Of course I would.

Like the Australian guy’s story, there were signs I should have picked up on along the way but chose not to. I will list the exact ones he listed here for anyone currently considering or actually in a relationship with a Vietnamese

1) Nobody else in Hong’s family seemed to work at all other than her sister. I should have realized that Hong could not support the whole family with a non-scamming approach.

2) When I was in Vietnam, Hong was often reluctant to take me shopping & left me at home, claiming we would pay more for things if I tagged along. She often took what seemed an exceptionally long time on these shopping expeditions.

3) Hong seemed to receive romantic messages from other men regularly in the beginning. She told me not to worry as these men were just friends or men who wanted to date her & she only loved me & would never give love to another man.
Don’t be the perfect fool like me & believe her.

4) She was just too perfect in the way she behaved & treated me. Being that perfect, she had to be pretending much of the time. It was just too good to be true.

5) I met her in a sauna. Good girls do not work in bars and saunas. I really was kidding myself from the start.

To mirror the Australian guy’s advice, I also agree with the following words of advice for anyone considering or actually in a relationship with a Vietnamese girl.

1) Beware of the good girl. If she seems over the top perfect then she is probably acting to some degree. The Vietnamese are very aware of what a western man looks for in a good girl & very adept at pretending to be that good girl.

2) If she is very beautiful, then just about every man in the world is interested in her including the unsavoury powerful people who really run the show in Vietnam. If her family is poor & don’t seem to work, then it is quite likely
that they are a family of farmers who have lived for generations breeding, leasing & selling their daughters to provide a majority of the family income. Your girl may have even already been sold or leased to the mafia to pay off family debts.
The mafia may be controlling your girl’s every action for their own financial gain. Daughters are like cattle to many poor Vietnamese families. Religion & fear are used to control the cattle. Sadly the daughters know no better &
are often thrust into prostitution before they are old enough to make decisions for themselves (even before puberty) . I know this because I have had several pre pubescent girls offered to me during my time there ( which was a police setup scam
to take my money for sleeping with an underage girl ) . I never accepted.

3) If you are being scammed, it is highly unlikely that any Vietnamese person will warn you about it at all. They will stick together & enjoy helping to deceive you. Some will profit from it.

4) Many Vietnamese people are extremely racist. They do not like westerners. In fact, many despise us, but all love our money. When they smile at you or befriend you, they are angling for money & that is all. They do not like you really.
When they laugh with you, they are probably laughing at you & the fact they are deceiving you so well. They are deceiving you all the time & hence are always laughing.

5) Ask yourself, before meeting your girl, were you lonely, were you longing for love, were you a little sex deprived, have you suffered depression, are you recovering from anything emotionally. Yes to any question & you are very vulnerable.
Vietnamese scammers will sense your vulnerability immediately & target you. They are on the lookout for you always.

6) Be extremely careful before feeling sorry for any Vietnamese person because they are poor or forced into prostitution or for any reason whatsoever. Your empathy is their biggest weapon & will be used against you for the purpose of
extracting money.

7) Do not be generous with your money. Once you are seen to do so, word will get around & you will be targeted even more so. I know now I was way too generous to Hong’s family & most other people in Vietnam with the money I
gave them. Too much & too often. The perfect fool.

8) Be very careful before allowing yourself to believe anything a Vietnamese person tells you when you are in Vietnam. They gain face amongst friends when they successfully deceive westerners & get much enjoyment from lying to you about
anything & everything. Remember that many Vietnamese people truly despise you but love your money. They will team together to deceive you & get that money. You should not trust them easily.

Like the Australian guy, these are my opinions based on my experiences & that is all. I have generalised & stereotyped on the Vietnamese population to a large degree. Of course there are decent honest hard working Vietnamese people
in the world, I have a good friend that is Vietnamese and he is stunned by what happened to me but unfortunately, a majority of Vietnamese people have shown me that they are evil and possess no heart or soul. Nearly all of them did a very good
job of pretending to be honest, decent people that were my friend. Almost all of them have either had been part of the deception to which I was a victim to rip me off or lied to me at some time. Sad but true. So my opinion of Vietnamese people
overall is not a good one. This is reasonable in my opinion, as I come from a society where trust & honesty are highly regarded traits…

Stickman's thoughts:

Interesting, but it would have been nice to learn more about these so-called murder attempts, and learn more about the dating process before you married her. There's quite a lot missing…

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