Readers' Submissions

Idiot Barebacker

  • Written by Anonymous
  • January 26th, 2012
  • 7 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

Yesterday was my third night in Bangkok and I went to Soi Cowboy, my first time in the bars. I barfined a rather lovely young woman from Baccara. Barfine was 600 baht and long time was 4000 baht (a lot I know, but it seemed appropriate at the time). We went to another bar at the end of the soi for a drink and I also bought one of her friends a lady drink. She wanted a stuffed toy as well so I bought her one.

We went back to my relatively unsecure and barebone's guesthouse. On the way, she seemed to be paying very careful attention to her surroundings; perhaps she was unfamiliar with the area and was working out the landmarks. She seemed unimpressed by my lodgings.

We had sex, slept for a while and had sex again. The first time we had sex I couldn't cum because of alcohol and the condom, so the second time I very foolishly had sex with her bareback and then came inside her. As soon as I had finished, I started kicking myself for the stupidity of barebacking a random Thai prostitute.

She had a mock-freak out about pregnancy and then laughed, pulling a morning after pill out of her bag (which gave me even more misgivings about my lack of condom usage) and taking it. She threw the packaging in the bin. We caught a taxi to On Nut for breakfast and then took the BTS back to the lodge. The lodge is literally at the bottom of the BTS steps, right on the corner of the soi and is very easy to find. She slept for a few hours. Then we lay in bed for a while; she was teaching me words in Thai and she seemed happy enough.

Then when I told her it was time to go, she started making a fuss about pregnancy again. She rang someone on her phone, and we had a somewhat stressful three way conversation via her headphones. At first it was with a younger woman who didn't speak very good English, and then an older woman with much better English (the mamasan?). The older woman asked me whether I had "put sperm inside the girl" to which I answered that we had had sex and had agreed on the price of 4000, which I was about to give her. That seemed to satisfy the older woman, who gave the phone back to the younger woman. She and the younger woman briefly continued their conversation in Thai, but after they hung up, she didn't seem particularly mollified.

I promptly gave her 4,500 baht, 500 extra for goodwill and problem avoidance – at that point it seemed like throwing a bit of money at the situation might make it go away. We left the lodge and she told me that she needed another pill (you're supposed to take two morning after pills, and she only had one left in her packet). We went to a local pharmacy and I bought her two packets for 100 baht. I got a receipt, thinking that the combination of the receipt and the empty packet from the rubbish bin might help show that she had taken the morning after pill, and that I had tried to do my bit to take care of the issue. However the receipt is in Thai and I can't be certain that it's accurate.

She asked me for my phone number and Facebook details, to which I replied I didn't have a SIM card yet (which is true), and that I don't use Facebook. I told her that I might see her in the bar (as if I will ever go back to Baccara!); she replied that she needed to be able to get in contact with me if she had a baby. I told her that she had nothing to worry about since she had promptly taken the pill. She looked pissed off, said goodbye and caught a taxi without looking back.

However one potentially quite bad thing is that I'm fairly sure she pocketed a photocopy of my passport that was sitting on the bedside table. I had locked up everything else in my bag while she was in the shower except for that one thing, which had fallen out of my wallet while I was taking out my door key. It could be a serious mistake because now she has my full name, details and passport number if she wants to cause trouble. I also realised that my address back in NZ was printed on my luggage tags which were still attached to my bag, but she had very poor English and I'm not sure she would have been able to read them.

The main things that I'm worried about are:

A) that she or people associated with the bar are going to try to extort money from me somehow;

B) that the police will be involved somehow, or that my passport could be flagged for some offence;

C) I'm 99% confident that her taking the pill means that pregnancy isn't an issue, but she could already be pregnant, or she could get pregnant by someone else and try to pin it on me;

D) the lodge where I live (and am prepaid for the next 7 nights) is fairly insecure. The front door is locked after midnight but my room is only up one flight of stairs. It would be easy for a group of people to get me on the way back to the lodge, or kick in the door and deal to me.

Obviously it's all my own stupid fault for thinking with my dick and not wrapping it up. I don't have a huge amount of money and paying my way out of serious problems would be problematic. Do you think I have anything to worry about, and what would you recommend I do? Is it worth moving to different lodgings right now, and possibly seeing a lawyer? Or even getting out of Bangkok or even Thailand?

Sorry for the lengthy email. Thanks in advance for any advice you can give, it would be greatly appreciated.

Big Mango

Stickman's thoughts:

What you did was foolhardy but you already know that. No lecture necessary, but the obvious worry in the tone of your email will hopefully make others think twice about doing similar.

The odds are that this woman is NOT pregnant. While yes, one shot is enough to get a woman pregnant, remember that a woman can only fall pregnant for a few days in her cycle various other things have to line up for conception to occur. That she took the morning after pill (assuming that is indeed what she took), then you should have no real concern about her being pregnant.

If on the very small chance she is pregnant, you will not know for 9 months. Again, this is very unlikely. But, if she does happen to have a baby in 9 months time, and she has your name and contact details, and she was savvy enough to hire a lawyer, then yeah, it could get a bit dodgy. The odds of this happening are perhaps 1 in 10,000 i.e. it is VERY unlikely.

As far as doing anything else goes, I'd do nothing. You paid her for the service she provided and I don't think there's a lot more you can do. Don't worry about the heavies coming around to see you as that won't happen. Eliminate any thoughts of visiting a lawyer as that is totally unnecessary.

What you should consider doing though is getting an STD check. There's an incubation period so you might have to wait a week or two to get tested. You can get that done at the public STD clinics in NZ for *free*. You might also want to get an HIV test done. You'd need to talk to them in the clinic about when the best time to do that is as I believe the period between infection and testing positive is a few months. I am not a health professional and as such cannot give accurate advice – but an STD clinic in NZ can.

And for heaven's sake, until you have been given the all clear, wrap it up from now on!