Readers' Submissions

Thailand, Black Vs White, City Mouse vs Country Mouse

  • Written by Fange26
  • December 7th, 2011
  • 4 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

I’m a young African American male and I’ve been living in Thailand for a year and a half now and I wanted to share my thoughts on the whole Thai-Foreigner dating scene. I have made some observations because a lot of my friends in Thailand are older, white European gentlemen. I have noticed that because Thai people generally don’t favor dark skinned people a majority of them don’t really have much interest in me. Now before you feel bad for me, don’t because I have also noticed that a lot of the women that play games tend to date only white guys. If a Thai woman has any interest in me, it is genuine interest. Being young to an Isaan woman would mean I have no security to take care of her and her whole family and then being black disqualifies me from dating her. So, I feel bad for the older white guys when it comes to dating Thai women because it's wrong to question a person’s motives without giving them a chance, but people from this country don’t move slow enough for you to really evaluate what is going on. She dates you for 2 days and then she loves you, then she trusts you enough to share her problems, which leads to her wanting your help. I’ve never experienced these problems because women that are like that target white older guys. I have a lot of friends who frequent the bars a lot and fall for the woman that's very popular meaning that you're not the only one falling for her. It's just interesting how my older, wiser and more experienced farang friends do things that they would not normally do when dating women in the western world. First, they wouldn’t be dating a prostitute. Second, they wouldn’t be giving away a shit load of money to a bunch of women that they barely know. So this leads me to ask what is the lethal obsession? I ask this because I’ve seen guys come here with a very decent amount of savings for retirement, asking me a year later to borrow money to pay rent!

This leads me to the country mouse and the city mouse (City girl and Isaan girl). I am currently dating a woman from the city (Nakhon Sawan, whole family born and raised there) and there is big difference dating a city girl to a country girl. I have in the past dated a country girl and I noticed that values are different. With the city girl there is not so much emphasis on money throughout the relationship because chances are her family has money, where with the country girl her focus is on scrapping up every baht she can get her hands on because her relationship with you can’t make her lose focus of what her original object is and that is to make money. To me, that thinking sounds like a recipe for disaster. My girlfriend and I walk through the city past a million stares of Thai people that don’t understand or that think it's bad for a white skinned Thai to date a black person and it doesn’t bother her at all. This goes back to what I was saying in the first paragraph – while the young and the blacks don’t get a lot, we do get better. I observed a lot of older gentlemen flashing a lot of money and telling girls that they are wealthy. That is like cutting your leg and then jumping into a pool full of sharks. I advise all of my older friends to not do this as it will attract the girl that you don’t want.

A good example is my friend who went into a bar and there was a nice girl fresh off of the bus from Isaan that adored him. She was beautiful, quiet, shy and loved to smile. He went into the bar flashing all of his money and every girl ran up to him giving him attention except for that girl. He ended up barfining a girl from the crowd of groupies and dated her for two weeks just to discover that she wasn’t girlfriend material. Luckily for him the new girl from Isaan had not had a customer yet and was not yet corrupted by the world of whores. They ended up dating and hit it off.

Not everyone can be that lucky. My advice is be careful what you say and show to these women. I think a city girl is better for dating than a country girl. My girlfriend and I can have long great conversations because she is educated and speaks fluent English. My friends complain about their Isaan bargirl girlfriend not being able to relate to them or understand them when they try to express them self. There are city girls out their that like older guys and not their money. Just be careful gentlemen.

I would like to close by saying not all women from Isaan are bad some of my best friends in Thailand are from Isaan and work in the bar. They are nice to me because I am their friend but lie to customers and cheat on boyfriends. So, think about that and don’t blame them! They feel that are only doing what they have to in order to survive. But it doesn’t have to be off of your dollar.

Thanks for reading this. I would really like to hear your comments and complaints. Please email me at [email protected]


Stickman's thoughts:

A lot of clear thinking here shows a lot of wisdom when it comes to relationships. Your older friends really could learn from you!