My Experience With My Thai lady
I have been an avid reader of Stickman for 12 years now so it's about time I chimed in.
I was on a business trip in Thailand for 6 months. As all the newcomers, I became real familiar with both Nana and Cowboy. I loved Carousel, 3rd floor Nana, back when it was wide open. Can't believe the best Philly cheese sandwich was at Woodstock. Chiang Mai saloon's Philly is just as good. Bald eagles at the G-spot actually had bald eagles. I was an upstairs guy at midnight and personal friends with the old owners (could have changed hand a few times).
After a few weeks of that craziness and drama I started hanging out at Fast Eddies next door to the Sheraton Suhkumvit. It was a needed change of environment – the company was great, food was good…and…most important, no drama. The owners closed up on New Year's Eve for a private party, I was invited. Who would have known that I was going to meet my wife?
When I got to the party, it was all the girls from the sock factory where the owner used to work (married a Brit). The party was great, fun had by all. The male / female ratio was good. Anyways, I befriended a lady there, asked her out, and the dating ritual began. The only day she had off was Sunday so I dated her and the chaperones for a couple months before we struck out on our own as the communication barriers were at full strength.
There was no formal marriage proposal but as my time in Thailand was winding down, we started the fiancee visa process.
It was actually an easy process as long as you had a solid "affidavit of support" documents. So 6 months later my darling had a stamped visa and off to California, then to Las Vegas. and then we were married. She couldn't leave the USA for 2 years until the greed card process was complete. The green card was actually an easy process, as long as you had a solid "affidavit of support "documents (starting to get the picture…$$..).
During that time, the wife was a real trooper. Drove her to ESL "English as a second language". Because of all the Mexicans,
she was learning Spanish and English. I found some other mixed marriage people (Thais) so she started to have friends. The best part was, these new friends had all the seeds for Thai veggies and one of them told me about Stickman. She has a huge garden every year.
Learned things I didn't know from Stickman. I didn't know what sin sot was. It never came up. Building the house routine. It never came up. So I offered up to rebuild the family home – gotta keep up with the Jones. I only saw pictures of the old house. Any ways, each tax refund I sent $5,000 for the 2 years the green card was being processed.
After 2 years, with green card in hand, it was off to the village to meet the in-laws for the first time. I must admit, the initial village experience is the best. After that it's like time stops there. Every year I go there doing the same routine. The in-laws are the best and I couldn't ask for better. The house they rebuilt was beautiful (especially for 10k). Her Dad was so proud and had every penny he spent written down. Her brother and sister are real decent people too. We rescued her sister from the sock factory and sent her to beauty school. Her brother works the farm with Ma and Pa. He will get the house when they pass as long as the in-laws are not living with me.
Fast forward 10 years
Today is my 12th wedding anniversary. Not only did I find a wife, I found a life partner. The wife has almost completed American high school. She is a great saver and a thrifty person. She did a great job assimilating in to the American lifestyle, has non-Thai friends, can deal with banks and utility companies.
I am now 50 and want to retire (wife is 36). We purchased 4 acres. Last yeast I dug a 1 acre pond, moved the dirt around the property where it needs no go. I will be contacting Sunbelt (great part of the website) to work out the Usufruct. One more year for the land to settle then we can start building. We're going to do a little strip mall in front for her and her sister and the house in the back. She is t0o young to settle down. The land is a 20-minute drive to the in-law's, close enough to be close…..but far away. Money wont be an issue….not rich….but saved and pensions. Fishing, gaming, model airplanes are what I like to do….so ready to get out of big city life. Chiang Mai is only a 4-hour drive so I can go get what ever "out of my system" when needed.
1. TIT I have so much fun doing tasks the most stupid way possibly. I don't even comment or try to help. The wife gets mad sometimes because she knows I'm doing it on purpose….too funny!
2. Buy a round at the ladyboy bar. Their mannerisms and attitude is out there and you got to stop at least 1 time a trip – so much fun in the bar. They do scare the hell out of me after closing and I'm stumbling back to the hotel.
3. Escort services. Yes, they seem outrageously expensive, but for the short time I get to myself, they're worth every penny. You know exactly what's going to happen – no sick water buffalo routine. No Drama!
4. Bargirls are fun in the bars. If you must…that's what short time rooms are for.
5. Wives of your village friends make sure you bring gifts for these pretty ladies because in the village my in-laws are from, partying every night with farang is unacceptable. Mama even gets on me for being a bad influence. LOL.
6. A bottle of tequila shows your village buddies what a real hang-over is like. <The local hooch will show you a "real" hangover if you are brave, or is it stupid enough! – Stick>
7. Learn Thai. My Thai still sucks. I have a 500 word vocabulary and can understand a lot. I couldn't form a sentence quickly if my life depended on it. They really do appreciate you trying. I carry flash cards.
8. Flirt with the older ladies. In the rural areas, giving more attention to the older ladies will put the younger ones at ease around you. Just remember it's real conservative outside the cities.
Time to wrap it up.
My experience with my Thai lady and her family has been great. Not one disappointment. At no time have I felt like a walking ATM when I'm in the rural area I'm going to retire to. I really don't feel like one of the lucky ones. People need to be a better judge of character when dealing with other cultures.
For those who are bringing a Thai lady to the States, you need to find her some Thai friends, some Thai food, and keep her mind busy while she is getting use to her new surroundings. (I sent mine to school). I also push her to try new things and be self-sufficient. Remember a lot of praise will go a long way.
Thanks for a positive report. It sounds like you have married into a decent family which greatly eliminates the possibility of future problems or hassles.