Readers' Submissions

Trivial Snippets

  • Written by Jacee
  • November 2nd, 2011
  • 8 min read


Below are snippets of my comments in response to previous Stick submissions by other authors. This is based on my own experience gained from being happily married to my Thai wife living in Australia and my numerous stays previously in Thailand with her in her family home. It took me a while to understand the etiquette of Thai society, nuances of Thai culture in comparison to my own of Malaysian Chinese ancestry and my adopted home, Australia.

Amongst all girly behaviour, pouting and sulking or refusal to speak for a lengthy period is one of the most unique characteristic traits of Thai lady including my own dear wife and something I experienced earlier on in our relationship. In the case of my own wife, I found that now she has learnt to forgive (not to hold grudges against someone indefinitely) and admit her own numerous flaws. She no longer uses sulking as a tool for conflict resolution between us. I must say it is soooo “cute” (hehe!!) to watch a Thai girl pouting in a lighthearted way, with her lips protruded mumbling away in Thai showing her displeasure for something you do or say.

Stating the obvious to many, I also found that LOVE is a universal language. The expressions of true love and deeds of true love which speak volume that come from the lady you love is "same same" anywhere in this universe.

I had played the numbers game like so many men on this site while on the quest to find a genuine and sincere love of my life. My stories are documented on this site namely: MAY BE I AM LUCKY THIS TIME, MY GOLD THAI WIFE. Let me tell you, it was not easy even with the advantage of my ethnicity which is probably a lot closer than Caucasian is to Thai. Sorting out the chaff from wheat is an acquired dating skill. You would most definitely blunder at first, but as you persist, lower your ego and learn from your blunders and try again and in the end you will surely be triumphant with help from God.

Silent treatment by your Thai spouse

It is a very bad news if you are in this situation. Ideally, you should be able to set boundaries with her at the start of your relationship on what behaviour is acceptable and what is not.

Silent treatment is the Thai way of showing disapproval. This behaviour would have been revealed to you many times during your courtship and why did you let her get away with it?

You are not to accept this behaviour, period. This behaviour will definitely repeat. It is her way of blackmailing you. It is a TRAP. Please do not fall for it. You have to stand up and put a STOP to it. One common mistake is to fall for her trap and go to her begging and bearing gifts. Please DON’T! I cannot imagine a life with your better half who is not prepared to talk with reason for whatever problem you may have with her. But I do foresee an insurmountable problem in this area for Caucasian / Thai lady relationship especially the Farang without native language proficiency. This problem is exacerbated a) if she is sourced from salacious quarters of LOS b) for anecdotal evidences suggested that by freak of nature Thai people in general mature a lots slower which is a plus physically as surely extended youthfulness is highly valued by all but negative for retarded pace in their mental maturity. C) If you have played into her (mistakenly or intentionally) an idea that she is your trophy and thus she is indispensable to you. Nonetheless, it is a big red flag to you if she will not, does not, or cannot sort things out with you by reasoning instead of imposing on you her ideas come what may and that she wants to dominate you with her way of doing things and any other ways you opined are totally unacceptable to her. She uses the silent treatment to blackmail you and uses it as a lever to extract undue advantage from you like monetary rewards or the purchase of gold for her or other expensive gifts to appease her. At the same time she is probably also withholding sex from you until some “ransom” is paid. Please stand tall by exerting your authority and tell her who is BOSS! Please believe me; a Thai lady will dominate if you let her as she is brought up as a leader of a traditional Thai household… But if she can see you being strong and resolute with leadership qualities (be a man, not a mouse) she will succumb to you and respect and love you as a MAN.

About the man whose wife belted him in the neck

About the man whose wife belted him in the neck out of the blue from anger resulting in him having a stroke, yet she was not prepared to admit guilt, I truly doubt whether his wife has ever really loved him. Repentance is a central component of TRUE LOVE and slow to anger is another. My view is that he has got himself a jai dum woman. It sounds like this gentleman has short changed himself for a long time and he accepted this appalling way his wife had been treating him and perhaps she is still the same now. You deserve better than that!

Your wife is your best Viagra

Keynesian supply and demand law is well and truly alive today. In the P4P industry, if there is no demand then supply will eventually just die off naturally. Likewise, it is demand that fans the supply of girls in P4P and growth of the whole industry. I empathize with many men who for personal reasons require the service of prostitutes. Some are lonely or divorced or both, others perhaps lack social skills or self-esteem and others are dissatisfied with their current marriage and yet others try for the thrill of it. Admission: I was no saint in my past life (still very much a sinner now) and asked God for forgiveness of my numerous past and present wrong doings but now I am a reformed man and have been for more than a decade. I also want to emphatically state that I do not refute those who participate in P4P, merely pass my comment as food for thought.

Prolonged indulgence by many in the P4P industry will demoralize and desensitize you, leading to erectile dysfunction. The problems with sexual intercourse with prostitutes are many and their effects can vary between individuals. But one thing sexual intercourse with prostitutes does not provide is a positive psychological feedback loop that a true emotional sexual love you experience with your own wife does. Emotional attachment you cultivate from loving your wife enhances sexual prowess, charging you up instead of draining you after each love making session.

Obey God’s law: thou shall not commit adultery, you will live life in abundance of joy… Stay faithful to your wife and her to you is a guarantee of long happy marriage. Seek out for true love that will elevate your love life everlasting NOT Viagra.

Thai man no good is a myth

Very frequently you heard this line being peddled by bar girls to their newly found Farang ATM to inflate their ego, and set them up for fleecing.

My personal observation is aside from the “no hoper” village males from lowly educated parents with bad habits themselves who sleep a lot and drink to excess, are lazy, treat their wives badly and expect hand outs from others, most Thai men are industrious, responsible and faithful to their wives. Before further ado, I would put a caveat here that my observation is perhaps skewed and unrepresentative of the general Thai population in LOS. Two males very close to me are my wife’s brothers. They are each married with a Thai wife and have kids. The elder is a certified auditor and younger is a military nurse. Both own their own home, work hard for a living and are a good provider to their family. My wife gave open access to her Thai bank account to the elder brother for he is totally trustworthy. They both share responsibility with my wife in supporting my mother-in-law by monthly remittance to her, albeit a very modest sum of 6,000 baht to supplement her own earnings. The elder one is a social drinker but the younger one a non-drinker. Neither of them gives any impression of being a “stray”, but a solid faithful husband to their wife instead. My in-law is over 60 years old and she is still working for the provincial government on a semi-voluntarily basis. She could have instead squandered her spare times, which I had seen a lots of old village folks do, in idle village gossips and participated in endless som tam eating sessions with peaun baan <neighboursStick> getting obese and waiting for her time to run out. The mere fact that she is not parasitic by wholly reliance on her children (which she is quite entitled to do in Thai culture,) makes me think and respect her for maintaining high moral and work ethics for all her children to copy. My point is that children from a good family with parents being good models from a young age invariably turn out to be better (read: not totally flawless) citizens of tomorrow. I can humbly proclaim that my wife and her siblings are the product of such a Thai family.

So, next time if a Thai lady you meet murmured “Thai man no good” line to you, rethink why she has peddled this to you.

Take care,

Jacee

Stickman's thoughts:

Some good advice, although I wouldn't count on God helping you out in relationships!