Readers' Submissions

Told You So 13 – Implosion



This is the ongoing saga of my separation and pending divorce from my ‘good girl’ Filipina wife here in the UK. I report it as I do because it’s a fairly unusual story in that rather than the more normal ‘I heard no more from my SEA lady’ I know more or less day by day what she’s doing with whom. She’s moved in with a new boyfriend and is now living with him in his house – together with his ex-partner and a very vulnerable child. New boyfriend and his ex-partner are now going through difficult custody proceedings. My estranged Filipina wife thinks I believe what she told me – that’s she’s renting a small room in a house with a colleague from the Nursing Home where she works. Just for now, I go along with this, but it’s a bit surreal. I am happy to wait for the divorce to get sorted out and/or her deportation, but I have to say that I find the continuing lies and deception almost incredible.

In my last submission I explained that the custody hearing was due on 23 November and that the new boyfriend of my Filipina ex-wife was likely to hear some stuff which might make him think from his ex-partner (who tracked me down and with whom I am in daily contact).

This is what happened, as reported to me by the ex-partner (and I trust her completely).

Bear in mind that on 22 November I received a SMS/text message from the Filipina saying she still loved me, etc. (See last sub).

During the hearing, new boyfriend, in support of his application for custody, told of his Filipina girlfriend who would look after the child. Ex-partner dropped into the discussion the details of the knife assault on me, with details. New boyfriend visibly swayed in his chair (I’m told) when she revealed the extent of her knowledge (capable of being borne out by the police report). He and the Filipina had obviously talked about this, and he told the hearing how Filipina’s estranged husband was a big hulking brute who had abused her and while she threw ‘something’ at him (no mention of knife) it was only out of frustration and no harm was done.

I know that that evening there was a discussion between the Filipina and the boyfriend. I also know that later that night there was a long discussion between the new boyfriend and his ex-partner. She told him that she knew many things about the Filipina but she’d learned them in confidence and couldn’t share it all. He appeared to be thinking hard.

At 07:25 the next morning (24 November) I received a phone call from her. I report it here in summary only to show the lies and deception. She asked if I could go to the nursing home where she works sometime during the morning. She had a problem about where to live. She confirmed that she was renting a room from a female colleague but said that they would be moving from their house – with the onset of winter they were worried about the cost of heating oil and would be moving out soon. She had, she said, tried all options to find somewhere else to live but had been unsuccessful. She wasn’t yet ready to go back to the Philippines and I was her last chance. Because I have two bedrooms, could she move back in with me and share the rent? Her last point was that she may be able to rent a room from a colleague but he was a man and she wouldn’t be comfortable doing that. I left it that I was busy for the next few days – she told me when her next days off were and asked to meet then.

I’d made notes of that phone conversation and sent an e-mail to the ex-partner with those notes as an attachment. As it happened, the boyfriend had taken Filipina to work that morning for her 07:00 – 19:00 shift. When she got there she found that the shift was changed to 14:00 – 19:00. When she called me she was sitting in the car outside the house fuming as only an SEA can.

Ex-partner had printed out my e-mail (but was unable to open the attachment) and left it on top of her printer. Filipina was stalking the house and I don’t know if she saw it – if she had she would have seen the bold print on top ‘from (my name).

At 12:21 that day I received a SMS/text message from Filipina: ‘My co-worker said when they move I might go with them too … now I’m thinking it could be a good idea … sorry to bother you this morning … I will take care of myself.’

Later, I spoke to the ex-partner and directed her to the Stick site, and in particular ‘Readers’ Subs’ and specifically my ‘Told You So’ entries. She printed them out and read them all. I realised, of course, that by doing this I was ‘blowing’ my anonymity but reasoned that it was worth it.

About 14:00 today, the ex-partner called me. Filipina was at work, and she had sat the boyfrind down and talked to him for two hours and told him everything she knew, how she and I had met, the information I’d given her, and the ‘Told You So’ story from the start. He was apparently shaken and in tears. He confirmed that he’d seen her three voices – normal, innocent vulnerable girl, and screaming banshee. He said he was going to call her at work and tell her she was no longer welcome at the house and said he hoped she’d be deported as soon as possible. The astute ex-partner called my friend the local cop to warn him of potential trouble brewing and a swift response was assured.

Maybe unsurprisingly during the next hour or so I received several calls on my home phone and mobile phone from the Filipina. I didn’t answer.

15:36 – a call from ex-partner. Boyfriend has called her at work, he is packing up her belongings and will drop them off there. The nursing home may have a spare ‘staff’ room, he doesn’t care. She’s history as far as he’s concerned.

In the next few hours I received many (unanswered) phone calls from the Filipina but as I’d removed myself to the cricket club for beer and company they didn’t matter, but I logged them down:

20:08 – (little vulnerable girl voice) ‘Can you call me back if you have time’.

20:12 – (little vulnerable girl voice) ‘It’s me. I’m here in —— room, maybe I move into —– room tonight. If you have time, please call me’.

I don’t think so.


Stickman's thoughts:

Good riddance, I say!