Am I HIV Positive?

I've had sex with around 75 Thai women this year and I have not used a condom with one of them. I have had sex with around 150 Thai women in total without using a condom. There is a small chance I may be HIV+. I am not worried about it.

Bangkok office girls are easy I have gone crazy with them. When I get home from work I get online and chat. I arrange to meet someone. Sometimes I score, sometimes I don't. Fridays and Saturdays are easy because they don't have work the next
day.

I sometimes use a condom the first time. The first time using a condom is always the last. I guess I've had sex with about 300 Thais. The first 150 or so I used condoms with almost but since then…..no.

Most don't require condom use. They don't even think about it. I think about it, but I also know it might be too late and what is done might be done. They think using a condom means they sleep with a lot of men, but if they don't then you
are their boyfriend even though you only met her an hour earlier.

I prefer the feeling of sex without a condom. Sex with a condom and sex without a condom aren't the same. Sex with a condom is a waste of time. I used to use condoms as a matter of course but nowadays I hate them. My erections aren't as strong
what they used to be <Get fit, drop some weight, lower your cholesterol and this might change – Stick> and condoms mean less sensation and less pleasure.

I know what I am doing is wrong but I can't help myself. It's thrilling bedding new ladies.

1 in 5 ladies ask if we will use a condom but none insist on it.

I know I am not the only one. One of my friends admitted that he paid for an abortion for an ex-girlfriend.

Pregnancy doesn't concern me. I withdraw before ejaculating and come outside the vagina. I am sure I do not have any children I don't know about.

At the old TF parties we used to talk about how we never use condoms. I know that doesn't make it right.

I had STDs before but not for a long time. I know the symptoms of common STDs. I know STDs can be cured with antibiotics. I also read about the difficulty of contracting HIV from sex. Some say that maybe it cannot even be contracted that way (I am not sure I believe that) and it gives me a little confidence.

I used to be vigilant about condom use but then one night I had a really hot freelancer. We were warmed up and when I went into my beside drawer and discovered I was all out of condoms. We continued. No condom. It felt so good, much better than protected.
Ever since I have hardly uses condoms again.

I know there is a danger of catching HIV. I have slept with many ladies and I am not circumcised. They say that increases the risk.

I would not say that I am scared to get an HIV test, I just do not want to know. What would knowing that I am HIV+ achieve? If I found out that I am HIV+, I don't know how I would take it. I don't think I will go into a deep depression and I
am not going to kill myself. It is not going to make my day.

Stickman said that work permit renewals need a blood test to show we are not HIV+ but at my last renewal it was not necessary. If my company insists on me getting tested then I will have to find a way around it. I do not want to know.

I know there are home test kits and there is an anonymous HIV test centre but I just do not want to know. What good would it do? It would change my life. It's easier not knowing.

My last long-term partner had a comprehensive health check and she was ok. If I was HIV+ back then, she would be too. That was over a year ago.

Do I think I am HIV positive? I don't know.

Stickman's thoughts:

Your behaviour is incredibly selfish and reckless. Becoming infected yourself is one thing, but how would you feel if you had passed on HIV to any of your partners? These women have families, friends, colleagues, neighbours and probably in some cases, children too. You could be depriving a child from its mother! Is 15 minutes of fun worth killing someone's mother over?!