Stickman Readers' Submissions August 12th, 2011

Double Love Triangle

When a lady is so keen to tell me how honest she is, I have to laugh inside. Truly honest people don't have to explain. No person in the history of online dating has ever said they are a dishonest, dangerous person to be avoided. Any question I ask
them I already know the answer by their body language and the speed of the reply. The truth rings through…lies wait a minute to develop. People don't need to pause to remember the truth. It spills from their face with copious detail. Lies
wait and simmer a bit, eyes shift, fingers fidget, subject matter is quickly changed, details are sketchy and brief. The best lies are truth in jest. When the lady asks the inevitable question, "How many lady you meet for sex", my answer
is, "Oh so many, I think 99 this week, 5 are ladyboy, in fact I have sex with 8 girls today my darling". She chuckles, I smile, the subject isn't repeated again.

Yesterday one of those strange and weird convergences of the planets happened. I found out the truth about something that had been torturing my mind for months.

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Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty. There are 8 characters in this story, and I've only scratched the surface. There could easily be dozens more.

Last week I talkd to Nok on MSN Messenger. She is waiting for her playboy lover to call her again after a week of sex in short time hotels. She believes she loves him. His name is not the common farang name and I have never met anyone with
this handle, so let's call him Dick. Now Dick is a countryman of mine, tall, slim, handsome, with many years under his belt in Thailand. I comfort Nok with advice, try to spell out the truth but softly, she can't handle the truth yet
really. We meet on Saturday for a date. It's just okay, she comes back to my room to cry on my shoulder. She's a good girl, she's sweet and in love with a stranger with green eyes. She says she knows he lies to her and she won't
meet him again, even if he does call her..she's over him with only one night of talk therapy. We shall see, I say to myself.

Sunday comes around and I have another date with Kung, planned to meet at Victory Monument. But I cancel at the last minute to meet my favourite lady of the moment whose name is, umm, let's call her Apple. This might be getting a little
off the point, but Apple reveals to me her big secret….she's married with a kid. Her husband is out of the country and she doesn't care. He sends 60,000 baht a month for support. She married him young, after barely a month of dating
him. He's rich and nobody takes her aside and says, are you sure you are making the right decision here. The honeymoon lasted 3 months before the constant control drama begins. I'm shocked and also relieved that Apple doesn't really
need my money and her secret isn't that she just came from her pimp's room and needs money for his drug habit.

So back to Kung. I've been chatting with her on MSN for a couple of weeks, nothing serious, just a lot of innuendo and winks. She's a minor character because I've never met her yet.

Yesterday, Nok and Kung are chatting online at the same time with me. Another girl named Pui is also in the talk triangle. It's okay, I type fast and can smoothly transition from one to another seamlessly. I tell Kung I'm sorry
for the late flake out on our plan to meet. She understands, mai pen rai. She tells me she is waiting for another guy to call her back anyways. He's from my country. Hum, what's his age and name I ask her. She asks, "Why",
waits a minute and says Dick.

Has to be the same guy. Now I'm throwing him under the bus, I don't know him, all is fair in love and mating competition. I hook them up with each other's phone numbers and they go offline to compare notes on Dick for 30 minutes.
In the meantime I tell Pui about what is transpiring. Turns out she knows Dick too. Now Pui has been playing the good girl game and claims to be a 33 year old virgin. She isn't. How do I know this? I'll get to that a little later.

Nok and Kung come back online, simultaneously peppering me with questions. I have a curious streak and ask for Dick's phone number because it might be fun to let him in on what's going on, and also I'm not a complete ass. I
let him know that they both know. I SMS Dick. He replies with a chuckle and interest to talk more.

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We talk for an hour on the phone. I tell him I'm interested to know who else he knows on my MSN list. The first name I throw out happens to be the name of the girl that picked me up at the airport this year and I stayed at her room the
first week in town while I waited to find a condo. The girl I had the most hope for this year, the girl that I would stop dating all others for, the girl I wanted to take to my country to live with me. Her name is Void.

Dick knows her. He actually was dating her the same time I was last year. The only difference is that he was having sex with her last year, and I was being polite about it and taking my time with this good girl. Not only was he having sex
with her, he was doing it well and often, sometimes on the same night after she left dinner with me. Dick was privy to the truth – he was just another one of her gigs.

They had some good laughs about how I would spend 1,000 baht on dinner and didn't even get a kiss good night. I'm glad I could be such good entertainment value for both of them. Dick was spending the night with her and she was cooking
him late night meals for free. His night out with Void cost him taxi fare. Fair enough, it's a good gig if you can get it. Oh it gets even funnier. While Dick is away in my country visiting family and I'm in the bed with Void she's
talking to Dick on the phone and arranging travel visas to go live with him too. Dick sends her the forms and tells her to figure it out and just do the paperwork. Void likes to keep her options open.

Enough about her.

I throw out the name of my favourite girl from last year. Her name is Poison. Sure enough, Dick knows all about Poison. Because of course, Dick is living in the same condo development with her, their neighbours, and in fact they met last
week for brunch. Poison was dating Dick and I at the same time as I was dating Void last year. Furthermore, Poison asked Dick if he wanted to stay in her room when he arrived back in Bangkok last month, but no sex. Dick didn't want that but
he still enjoys being friends with her because she has an edge he likes. Dick and me are swimming in the same pool and have similar tastes in sharks.

As Dick and me are bonding on the phone, he is also chatting on MSN with Nok and the virgin, Pui. The virgin is asking Dick about me and he is confused. He thinks I just hacked into his email and I'm being a dick. I explain that I told
Pui about Nok and Kung and he is having trouble wrapping his head around the fact that I just happened to fluke out and have the thee planets in my sight at one time. A little complicated to explain on a SMS, now he is up to speed and he is fielding
questions from two recent lovers about what he has been up to with other girls, and if he has been gossiping about them. Thai girls are so worried about what people say, as we all know.

Confused yet? I know I am, having to constantly go back and get all the alias straight. Almost done, I'll try to wrap up this convoluted love onion.

Last night I get a call from Apple, and Dick was chatting with her about me, and Apple is so worried about what I've been telling Dick about her. But it's all good now. He told Apple I want to taste her again and that she is my
favourite flavour. Seems that Dick was also trying to nibble Apple last month but she stopped talking to him after a few impolite gestures for bikini photos.

Where does this all stand now? Well, I talked to Nok today and she is planning on seeing Dick again. She still loves him and forgives him. I told her to do what she wants. She is happy that I talked to Dick and he is interested in her again
because another hydrant sniffer finds her appealing and Dick likes that. Nok is not the needy girl any more. She is a challenge to win back for Dick and then dump properly after he has gutted her soul.

Apple will be over tonight to get what she needs.

Pui is toast with Dick.

Kung is a rotation option for Dick and maybe me, if Apple turns sour.

Void is a maybe for Dick after I so wisely re-sparked his interest in her and reminded him how much I liked her game.

Poison is on the edge and open for interpretation.

As for myself, enlightened, confused, and disillusioned.


Stickman's thoughts:

As I was saying to a mate recently, the Thailand online dating landscape resembles the bar industry more and more every day. That's not to say that "fun" cannot be had, but where once I thought the Internet was a reasonable place to find a decent Thai woman – and I guess it still is, to some extent – there's no denying that there are so many players out there these days – on both sides – that the waters are becoming increasingly muddied.

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