Understanding The True Nature Of Women
I thought I'd write a submission to give my views on some of the common themes of the Stickman website. Essentially, I want to talk about a topic I've always been fascinated with – the psychology of women. I think many of the problems people
on this site write about boil down to wishful thinking and fundamental misunderstandings about the nature of women.
Having been involved with quite a few women in my life, both in long and short-term relationships, as well as friendships, I often find myself observing their behaviour. I've also read a lot on this topic, from seduction literature, to feminist writings, to academic studies. Here are some of the key points I've found.
Number one is to realise that women think very differently from men. They are not the same as us, and you must see that they won't view many situations in the same way as you do. Their motivations are different.
The ultimate aim of male / female relationships is reproduction. That is why your body drives you too seek out sex and relationships. It's also why women's bodies do the same thing. Our bodies are emotionally manipulating us in the hope of reproductive success.
What do men want from women? Mostly love, sex and companionship.
What do women want from men? The same three things, but also financial support and physical protection.
The best reproductive strategy for women is to gain all these things from the same man. But that isn't always available. So instead, an alternative strategy might suffice. That is, to use one man as a provider, and another as a sperm-donor. There have been plenty of observations of females cheating on their long-term male partners in the animal kingdom. In fact, the sneakiness with which the females do it is almost laugh inducing. They can fornicate behind a bush silently and quickly, while their ignorant male partner is only metres away. There is also quite a lot of evidence of this occurring in humans. Actually, you'd have to have lived a pretty sheltered life not to have realised that this type of behaviour is pretty widespread.
Men aren't entirely stupid, so we've developed behaviours to counter this. The main one being an easy emotional trigger for extreme jealously. Women have counter-played by becoming extremely secretive. That's why it's almost impossible to get a straight answer out of women concerning their feelings on sex and relationships. They instinctively attempt to make themselves confusing. It's also why they become outraged at any attempt to control their sexuality and reproduction.
The bottom line is that you can't trust women to be honest with you about their feelings. They are hard-wired to hide such things from you and that's just how it is.
Which brings us to the topic of love. Women talk about love all the time, but it's not really love as we understand it or as Hollywood sells it. Instead, what women are interested in is infatuation. Their love is almost always fleeting and hormonal. That's what they mean when they talk about "chemistry". Men also suffer from infatuation, but also experience real love. It's common to meet men who are deeply in love with their wives decades after marriage. To see the same in a woman is much more rare.
The author Michelle Langely wrote a fascinating book on this topic called "Women's Infidelity". A few years after marrying a husband with whom she was madly in love, she began to lose all feeling in her relationship. Curious about this, she interviewed hundreds of other women to find that this phenomenon is very common. In fact, she found that after a few years, many women felt less for their husbands than they did a stranger in the street. These women resented the commitment they'd made and the obligations they were under towards men with whom they no longer felt any connection at all. Sound familiar?
One of the most confusing things for many men is how quickly a woman's view of you can change. One day, she can be singing to the heavens about her undying love, the next she can throw you away like yesterday's newspaper.
Another author F Roger Devlin, reviewed Langley's book and theorised that there is a biological basis for this. Children have better chances with the support and protection of a father during their early years. So women are emotionally wired to stick with a man during these formative years. After this, they may well have the best reproductive strategy by spreading their bets – that is, by finding another man. Remember, these instincts developed on the plains of Africa, rather than in modern society.
Onto my final topic of financial support. When you peel back the layers designed to hide it, it's hard not to come to the conclusion that prostitution is everywhere. Of course, it's obvious on the streets of Sukhumvit, but there's plenty of it going on in the suburbs of the West as well.
What is prostitution? Quite simply it is the flow of funds from one person to another in return for sex and companionship.
In almost every male / female relationships this flow goes from the man to the woman. In the world of the "good girl", women can be a bit choosier about who their customer is. Their need for financial support typically isn't urgent. They also play a longer game and one where society ensures what's really going on is covered up in layers of romanticism and euphemism. Indeed, many women don't even engage in this game consciously. It's in their nature and their emotions drive them towards it, while their rational mind happily uses every excuse possible to ignore it.
So instead of a direct cash payment, she accepts dinner invitations and gifts of jewelery. She then gets a big wedding with lots of gifts and a honeymoon. Once married, she often starts working part-time or gives up work altogether. Their joint funds get spent on things she wants such as big houses, renovations and shopping trips. Finally, if she gets a divorce, she expects a big financial settlement and ongoing support of various types.
The process is more subtle, and society's genius in hiding and encouraging it is clever, but make no mistake about which way the funds are flowing. It's nothing more than socially acceptable prostitution, and it's everywhere. Of course, these women would deny it until they are red in the face, but cut off the flow of money and they'd screech like stuck pigs.
This arrangement suits men as well. Most men would be as ashamed of using prostitutes as women would be of being accused of being one. It's much better we all pretend that what's really going on i.e. men paying for sex, companionship and access to reproduction, is something else entirely.
Most women are, at base level, prostitutes. Most men are Johns. It just suits us to pretend otherwise. In fact, most people would be outraged if the true nature of their relationships was exposed, no matter how clear the evidence.
Are there exceptions to this rule? Absolutely. But they are not common.
Of course, the best excuse of all is children. The need for children to be supported can be used to blur the flow of funds more than ever. One thing I notice when I visit the large shopping centre near my house filled with supported wives is that the number of products sold to benefit children is minuscule. The vast majority of products are aimed at women. Men may earn most of the money, but it's pretty clear who it's being spent on.
So there you have it. I could go on, but I think I've made my key points. Armed with this knowledge, I hope the Stickmanites can better manage their relationships with women. Once you really understand what's going on, you can more easily protect yourself financially and emotionally.
Understand that a woman's feelings for you are likely temporary. Understand also, that she will almost certainly expect, even at a subconscious level, that you owe her financially for her time. If the funds aren't forthcoming, she'll likely use any tools at her disposal to extract them.
Some would say that's it in a nutshell.