Jai Dam (Black Heart)
During my first visits to Thailand the nightlife consisted of being taken to gentlemen's clubs like Pegasus which I tired of pretty quickly. I started venturing out on my own and would frequent bars like Spasso or CM2 at the Novotel. CM2 at that time was a great place to pick up a freelancer on weekends who held a regular job during the week. Sometimes money was never part of the equation so it felt like you were picking up a non pro at a bar. Now the club is completely different with little Moscow occupying half the premises and the Thai girls there are as hard as they get.
I happen to be in Bangkok and alone on a Tuesday night so after taking care of business during the day off I went to CM2 that night. It was early in the evening and the place was quiet. I happen to see a cute young girl by herself so I ventured over to say hello. Her name was Fa and she told me she just graduated from university. Her English was excellent and after many drinks it was back to the Sheraton where she would not make love to me. Since money was never discussed I just went with the flow and all I wanted to do was to get to know her better. I was about 40 at the time and she was in her early 20s. I was smitten by this girl and decided to take her the next day on a trip to Cambodia. We went back to her all girls' dormitory to collect her clothes and off we went on adventure with another friend of mine. It did not take me long to fall head over heels for her and as written so many times on this site the sex was beyond amazing.
Upon returning to the States all I could think about was Fa. She consumed my thoughts every waking moment. I fell deeply in love which all my friends later questioned because upon meeting her she was not nearly as pretty as my other ladies. They knew I never spent much time with any one woman. Since I didn't know about the Stickman site 13 years ago I started making all the wrong decisions like setting her up in an apartment and giving her a monthly stipend. I rationalized it by having her accompany me on my travels through Asia for business. She became my personal secretary and for about a year it was great having her by my side. It started getting serious when she asked me to visit her parents who were rice farmers about three and a half hours outside of Bangkok. We did the usual thing of buying all types of gifts which was mostly strange foods bought along the way. We would spend the day and return at night. Next the Dad got sick and I forked over thousands of dollars for an operation. Overall she was not a real gold digger but was looking for the big prize of marrying me. As in any place in the world, women after a while will start pressuring the man to divorce his wife and marry the mistress.
I finally took the big step and told my wife I was leaving her before embarking on another trip to Asia. This business trip was a mixture of seeing factories plus ten days trekking the Himalaya mountains of Nepal. After arriving from a 24-hour flight from the States, Fa was waiting for me at the airport and accompanied me to the Sheraton. I was partially devastated and having second thoughts about leaving my wife for Fa. That little voice inside of me said something was not right. When I mentioned my feelings to Fa about leaving my wife and how it made me feel sad, the venom started dripping from her voice. She was the opposite of empathetic and was outright cold and calculating. It was like a lighting bolt that struck me with awareness that I was making a big mistake. The next day we were off to Katmandu to meet my Sherpa guide from a previous trek.
If you would ever like to find out about someone then take them out of their comfort zone. Their true personality comes out and the 10 days in Nepal was a real eye opener because as I pressed further about our relationship Fa started to become psychotic. She start manifesting a dual personality like Jekyll and Hyde and it all started to become apparent that I was making a horrible mistake. Upon our return to Bangkok I tried to think about how I could start ending our relationship which I knew wouldn't be too easy. That weekend I went to play golf with my buddy and told Fa I was going to go out that evening with my mates. Upon returning to my hotel room after golf, Fa was on the floor passed out from taking all the sleeping pills I used for trans-Pacific flights. She must have swallowed about 25 Ambien tablets which scared the shit out of me. I immediately called my Thai friend to meet me at the hospital. I asked the hotel for a car and off we went to Bumrungrad to have her stomach pumped.
This was just the beginning of a 2-year saga where I tried to break up with Fa. I ended up sending her to Australia to obtain a MBA and at the end when she realized I would never marry her she ultimately stabbed me in the back. When I told her about another woman which I had fallen in love with she just freaked out and called my wife. At that time I was just separating from her and Fa downloaded to her all my transgressions which was used against me during our divorce. There is a saying that nothing is worse than a woman's scorn and I found out the hard way with both my mistress as well as my ex-wife.
PS – 10 years later Fa tracked me down and sent me an email which I gave to my Thai wife to respond. It was an interesting exchange of emails to say the least.
Splitting up with a woman should never be difficult, especially when you are only a frequent traveller. Simply start using a different hotel which should be enough to put a gap between you and her! Or….harden up!