Readers' Submissions

I Hope my Kid Is Not Our Future

  • Written by Lance
  • July 25th, 2011
  • 5 min read


I am curious. Are there more "white women are just no good" reader submissions? or "Never fall in love with BG" submissions? There has to be a reader with lot of time on his hand who can go through these articles and put them in category (Farang girl bad – 30%, BG evil – 29%, Why marriage don't work – 10%, Let me tell you all about women – 30.1%…)

Anyhow, now I consider any advice on relationships to be very much like advice on food. Someone might walk up to you and say "Oh! I've ordered pad thai once at Panda Express at shopping mall, so I can tell you all you need to know about Thai food."

And I would sincerely thank that person and listen to what they have got to say for next 3 hours.

Which is no different than if I happen to sit next to 70-year old Thai grandma on an airplane, who has a PhD on Thai cooking, ran a chain of 5-star Thai restaurants for the last 50 years, wrote the encyclopedia of Thai cooking and was cook for the PM of Thailand.

Ultimately, depending on what kind of taste in food I have, where I will go to eat Thai food, and the quality of food I find there, requires me to listen carefully to any and ALL advice I am fortunate enough to receive equally.

I have no doubt all the advice and tips given by those who are experts on all things women will be utmost valuable and many years down the line, I will look back and marble at how true they all were.

So two recent submission were chocked full of advices, Note on Sex, Women and Marriage: To My Son on His Twenty-First Birthday by Korski and response, A Note On Sex, Men And Marriage, To Korski's Daughter Or Granddaughter in a form of letter to their kids both of which you should immediately drop whatever you are doing and read and come back.

And don't forget the responds to response article A Note To Korski's Daughter or Granddaughter: A Response.

Now I can't vouch for any of this advice, since it is not mine.

And who among us can tell anyone else to take this advice or not?

What I can say is where I think this advice comes from and what that's tell me about the author, or the society in which this advice came to be. (note: I am not paying these are FACT, I am saying this is how I read / see them.)

There was one point made that kind of hit me right in the guts though, and caused me to write this rambling submission.

>> Avoiding "sick, lame, lazy, and crazy"

Back when I was in the army, every morning there was sick call, and they asked all the sick, lame, lazy, and crazy to fall-out of the formation and go to infirmary. Dealing with anyone who society considers outside of "normal" is hard. We have whole institutions of hospitals and people who go to school for decades learn to take care of those with special needs.

If I were to stand in line at a supermarket with my son and I saw a handicapped person having trouble, I would rush in to help, hoping my son would learn a lesson.

If I am in an interview and a microphone is in front of me, I would say I have taught my son to be a good honorable person and that when faced with hardship such as dealing with people with mental or physical handicap, he will meet the challenge head on and persevere because I have raised him to be strong in both mind, body and spirit.

But I would wish that he would have read Korski's advice and run like a little girl at the first chance cause who am I kidding? I know any kid of mine wouldn't be able to handle something like that. We don't allow our kids to fail. In kid sports, everyone gets the same trophy for "participating".

No. My son isn't made of stronger stuff. He is a failure waiting to happen and the best I can hope for him is to pray that he knows enough to dodge and avoid anything that might become difficult for him to handle. No son of mine will "man up". My kid will not learn from life's trials and tribulations. It will just break him.

When I look around and watch teenagers at the mall, or read a newspaper / blog about things happening at junior high school, or about rampant cyberbully in social media, I begin to wonder just what have we been teaching our kids? and what have we been telling our kids? and what have we been showing our kids?

Is what we tell our kids in "public" the same as what we tell them at home? or what we secretly hope in our hearts?

Just how often can I get away with saying to myself "I am only doing this for his own good cause I don't want him to repeat the same mistake I've made"?

Now before you go and say this is some kind of "dig" at Korski or try to track me down so you can call social worker on my kids, let me re-assure you in saying that this ISN'T REAL. I am writing a response to a post made against a hypothetical son to a person I don't even know! I am NOT saying YOU personally isn't doing all the right thing when it comes to raising your kids or how to do it right or armchair parenting. I have not even said "tsk" once.

So, you know, put that gun down.


Stickman's thoughts:

I am sorry but I really don't get the point you're trying to make and as such I cannot comment!

All I will say is that your son really should read what Korski wrote. Yep, in a world where we're not supposed to upset anyone or saying anything that could be construed to be upsetting to others, it is the refreshing frankness and honesty of articles like Korski's that become even more important.