Readers' Submissions

Gorgeous Thai Girls, Non-Committal Relationships and Unplanned Pregnancy



Thank you for publishing my two previous submissions on your website. Although I received a lot of negative feedback nevertheless I did receive a few positive emails. One man said in his email my first submission was like “a breath of fresh air”. I suspect I’m going against the opinions of many of your readers regarding the Thai sex industry. That makes some people mad at me.

I was taught that everybody is special in God’s eyes. These were the beliefs I was taught by my parents and my teachers as I was growing up. When I was going to school, many years ago, there was a religious class almost every day. The teacher would read parts from the New Testament and then give a talk to the class. I enjoyed this class because there was no hard mathematics to figure out or complicated history to memorise.

A few years ago I met a Thai girl on one of those dating websites. We chatted about many different things. I remember one Sunday morning she told me she was living with an elderly British gentleman. I advised her to beware of getting pregnant because if she got pregnant the man might not want the responsibility of bringing up a child. He might leave her and then she would be a single mum having to look after a child on her own. I also told her that if she became pregnant without intending to then the elderly British gentleman might force her to have an abortion. I told her that it is not unusual for girls to suffer psychological trauma after an abortion. Of course I was very well aware that according to my religion a pre-born baby has an immortal soul and abortion amounts to murder, which is forbidden by one of the Ten Commandments. But I didn’t mention this because I assumed the girl was not a Christian. I also told her that her chances of getting married would diminish if she had a baby from a previous relationship, because men usually don’t like looking after children that are not their own.

She told me nobody ever talked about these things to her before. She was very nice to me about it. She said it was good advice and she said she would be careful. For a while we used to chat every Sunday, but eventually we had to stop because we were busy in our own personal lives and it was difficult to be online at the same time. She said she wanted to meet me in Thailand. I was not sure whether that was a good idea. I never met her in reality and she just drifted away.

I am convinced that there are nice girls in Thailand but some of them don’t receive proper advice from their parents regarding relationships with boyfriends and the whole complex issues of sex, unwanted pregnancies, relationship breakdowns and rearing children without a father’s support. Relationships can have a greater impact on the girl when things go wrong; therefore the girl needs to be more cautious from the start. A foreign man, if the girl gets pregnant, can just walk out and leave her and find another girl.

A distant relative of mine had a live-in relationship with a Thai girl. She got pregnant and she brought the baby to full term. The New Zealand man was pleased with his son. Things went well in the relationship for a few years. But unbeknown to the girl, the New Zealand man was seeing another Thai girl on a regular basis. He also enjoyed the girly bar scene in Bangkok. But he kept his extracurricular activities hidden from the common-law wife. He has a very chirrupy personality. Girls find him attractive. He has a knack for making them like him. He is easy-going and genial. He is great at telling amusing stories. He has travelled extensively. He is intelligent and very adept at getting things to work. Years ago he trained as an electrical technician.

One day his girlfriend said she wanted to go back to Chang Mai to be near her parents and her brothers. They used to visit her folks in Chang Mai every four weeks or so. But the New Zealand man didn’t want to go. He has a small business in Bangkok refurbishing and repairing vintage items, such as old reel-to reel tape recorders, old desk-top computers, and 1980s boom boxes and selling them through his business acquaintances and on the internet. He didn’t want to give all than up and move. Eventually after several rows the relationship collapsed and the girl moved to Chang Mai with her little son. The foreign man continued to see the other Thai girlfriend. Then he persuaded her moved in with him. He also regularly visited the girly bar scene for a bit on the side.

I received an email from him three weeks ago. He said his second girlfriend had a new baby – a girl. He said he doesn’t believe in marriage because of the bureaucracy involved. He doesn’t like making long term commitments. He will stay with the second Thai girlfriend as long as she doesn’t give him any trouble. He has a rather cynical attitude towards marriage because he divorced his New Zealand wife twenty years ago and there was a bitter court case over the division of property. It was eventually settled but he felt the ex-wife got more than she deserved. He had to sell his share of the house to her because he had got into serious debt when his electronic business failed in New Zealand. Shortly after that he moved permanently to Thailand.

They reckon there is about a billion dollars annually generated by the sex industry in Thailand. There is a lot more to it than lonely men having noncommittal relationships with pretty Thai girls. My New Zealand relative in Thailand once asked me if I was interested in going over there to see him. He said he could find a girlfriend for me if I was interested, but I wasn’t sure if he was serious or just joking.

I wonder that Thai girls think of foreign men who get them pregnant and then leave them. I believe it happens a lot, but the problem is the girls are usually very young and inexperienced in life, and don’t seriously think about these things until it happens.

It is great that you are covering the spectrum of opinions on your website. I have learned so much from reading the submissions of others. The advice people give based on their own personal experiences is better than reading a guide book, because it is more authentic, more in depth and more focused on the day to day reality. I don’t think I could live in Thailand permanently because, apart from the severely hot weather, there are a lot of scams and the hustles; then there is the discriminatory attitude towards foreigners, and the way foreigners are targeted by people from all walks of life in order to get money off them. The false politeness might irritate me. And this awkward business of waiing would make me feel like a holy fool with my hands joined in prayer in an ordinary secular situation.


Stickman's thoughts:

For sure, from your subs I'd say you're probably not the most suited to a life in Thailand.