Realism About Men and Mongering
I’ve been a frequent reader of this site for many years and feel that it’s about time that I wrote my first submission. What drives me to do this is my belief that others reading these submissions, including women, may be led into thinking that most western men, if they had an availability of inexpensive but reasonably attractive prostitutes, would indulge.
I think that this viewpoint is false. Not just because it is not the case with me but from frank discussions with other men and from findings from other studies most western men have never used the services of a prostitute nor would they even if prostitutes were conveniently available to them.
I’m 46 years old, university educated, live in England and working a reasonably well paid professional job. I’m tall, slim, full head of hair, dress smartly, socially well adjusted and told that I’m attractive by women. However, I’ve never been married and for most of my life have not even been in a relationship. The reason for this is that I can’t be bothered to spend time trying to meet women as it’s easier and quicker to relieve sexual tension by means of internet porn movies download for free via file sharing sites.
I’ve had a fair degree of interest from women in England in day-to-day life but have always rejected their (usually) subtle approaches because they weren’t my equal in physical looks. To reduce their chances further most were also fat. Perhaps from a personality perspective they would have been compatible but from experience if I don’t find a woman physically attractive it won’t work out. The women whom I’ve made a move on have been reasonably good looking. However, they’ve either rejected me for one reason or another or I’ve rejected them because it turned out that they had children. As children would understandably and naturally take a higher priority in a woman’s life, I can’t see why I’d want to put myself in her second position for another man’s child and furthermore support it.
In spite of my spectacular failure over the years of getting a reasonably good looking girlfriend I have never felt any real temptation to use the services of a prostitute, however beautiful, even at reduced prices in Thailand. I should think most English men would feel the same given research that indicates that only 10% of English men have ever used a prostitute. I can immediately think of three reasons why not.
Reason#1: Why would I want to get intimate with a woman whose motivation to become intimate with me is purely for my money? What is the fulfilment in this?
Reason #2: Due to the health risks entailed, I would be prepared to have sex with a prostitute only if I were wearing a condom. However, there would be no point as I find it feels better in the hand than having sex wearing a condom.
Reason #3: The cost. Even at Thai prices, the cost of renting a reasonable looking prostitute for the evening would typically cost at least £50. Although much cheaper than back home, it could become a significant amount of money if one were to procure numerous rentals over the period of a stay. I can think of many other things that I would rather spend my money on, for instance the latest smart phone that most prostitutes own that their punters can’t seem to afford. I expect that a good proportion of lone male farangs who come to Thailand on holiday come primarily for mongering. Without the promise of cheap sex they would not be there. Just add up the total cost of a mongering holiday including flights, accommodation, meals and beer and for many it can easily become a very significant chunk of one’s hard earned money. Is it really worth it? And no, don’t be deluded, the prostitutes don’t have any genuine feelings for you. You’re one of many. They don’t love you apart from your money.
I have visited Bangkok on holiday on four occasions and will return this November. I go to buy suits and fake watches. I now have a collection of ten bespoke suits. They are well fitting as I have an interest in clothing and will have as many fitting sessions as it takes to get it right. Although the material is not of as high a quality as back home it is sufficiently good for making highly presentable clothing at a small fraction of what it would cost back home. It is more cost effective to travel to Thailand to get the suits made, including flights and hotel than it would to get them made in the UK. I also have a collection of beautiful fake watches, most keeping good time, particularly the quartz models. I change their fake leather straps for high quality genuine leather ones of various skins, some exotic and it improves them tremendously.
Yes, when I’m in Bangkok I visit Patpong, Nana and Cowboy. However, the anticipation is always better than the reality. I’ll see yet again another ping pong show, the darts, the smoking, the razor blades, same thing each time. No new acts. I’ve seen it before many times and wonder why I’m there. Even the dancing is not that great, the same repetitive body movements. I think there would be a real market if a club were to put on a professionally choreographed show featuring talented dancers. As for talking to the girls, I have more interesting conversations with my hotel receptionists.
It's nice to hear this different perspective. I very much agree that sex in Thailand is not really worth the money. For me personally, I love the chase. You might spend 1,500 – 2,000 baht taking a woman for a meal and a few drinks – which is probably 50 – 75% of what it typically costs a guy to spend the night with a prostitute in Thailand. Sometimes you "win" and sometimes you "lose", but it is always fun. Different strokes for different folks, I guess!
The 10% number is interesting and I wonder how accurate that is. I would have thought it a little on the low side, especially if the average age of the respondents was well into middle age (or older).