Readers' Submissions

We Red Heart BKK Bar Girls

  • Written by Anonymous
  • May 18th, 2011
  • 7 min read


Black Pagoda Patpong Bangkok

This submission is based upon the experiences of 6 close friends in our mid to late thirties who visit Thailand once a year for what always ends up being the best three weeks of our lives.

We are long time readers of this column and between the 6 of us have visited Thailand many times.

Whether we can offer the same insight as an expat is highly unlikely. However, all we are trying to do is share our experiences and offer our take and perception of the LOS and share with everybody our experiences of the bar scene and bar girls in general.

It is often written on this website that bar girls are deceitful and duplicitous and there is many a cautionary tale warning of the perils of getting too involved with a bar girl.

We are in no way trying to undermine the pain and hurt that people have gone through following bad experiences with bar girls. In fact amongst our own very group two have experiences where they have been let down slightly. We are however trying to share our positive experiences with anyone who would care to read this submission.

As we write this on a slightly chilly Sunday evening, on what has been one of the more pleasant weekend days England can offer, our thoughts are still with BKK and the wonderful times we recently had there.

We all went out as a group last night for the first time since our holiday only to be faced with women of half the standard we would see in BKK with four times the attitude.

They will give you daggers for just looking at them, even if you have just offered to buy them a drink.

You can hear the general conversation in the pub and it is all just constant bitching and moaning with barely a smile in sight.

The stark contrast with the vibrancy and atmosphere of BKK is enough to break anyone’s heart. When you sit and listen to that constant whining you truly realise you are back home!

No matter how many times we go we still get that buzz when we land in BKK. During the taxi ride to the hotel we are smiling from cheek to cheek. Just walking out on to the street on the way to the bars is an incredible experience, the sights, the smells and the expectation and anticipation.

When we suck in that BKK air on our first night back we just feel like the world is our oyster and anything is possible.

In spite of having been so many times that first night buzz is an almost indescribable high and we still get the butterflies in our stomachs whilst walking to our favourite hangouts.

On our last visit we walked in to the bar which has been our favourite hang out for the last few trips and received a rock star welcome not dissimilar to the Beatles first trip to America! Finally we have the chance to see genuine friendly people who we communicate with during the year only by SMS or email who have now become very good friends, or that's how we feel anyway.

All parties concerned knew we were in for a good night. Sure we splashed the cash and we brought everyone from the bar maid to the mamasan a drink, but why not? We had saved all year for this and the booze was flowing freely and what a night!

We were dancing, partying and laughing with beautiful women on our first night out in BKK and we are now writing this from England looking back on it and when we were all out together last night any of us would have given anything to just capture a slither of the sense of fun, enjoyment and excitement that we felt that first night in BKK.

Oh what any of us would give just to be in that head space again but alas it’s very hard to try to be the free spirits that we were in BKK when we are shackled and beaten down by the ordered and mundane constraints of life in Farangland.

We can honestly say that our associations with our bar girl buddies (no sniggers please!) have really brought the best out of us as people and as a group and being around them has taught many of us how to make the most of life again and also how to love life again.

We have found the annual trips to Thailand have been just the tonic to reinvigorate us and give us a sense of perspective on life where upon we realise that we are free spirits and we can enjoy our lives and we need not be ground down by the corporate machine and our day to day responsibilities.

We are sure many of you will believe us to be typically naive and overly optimistic tourists and that we are playing with fire and will eventually get burned. This could very well end up being the case! With every trip we get sucked in more, there is no doubt about that. But we believe we are not that naive, we have read Private Dancer, read your column and submissions plus other sites, we've listened to friends of friends stories etc and we still feel these girls are the best in the world.

All we want to do is have fun and have companionship on holiday! Oh and what companionship it is, laughter, sharing of cultures and humour, the insiders view of Thailand and what is has to offer, we take our favourite girls on holiday with us down to the beach each year after our initial week of hedonism in BKK, a holiday within a holiday I suppose, and it's fantastic.

The alternative is looking for love in Farangland! But what would you get if you did? From our experiences and observations we’ve been there, done that and brought the t-shirts, got beautiful children to cherish but bitter memories of the women we first met and how they changed after the kids arrived.

You meet a woman, you fall in love but eventually you are dying inside, everything she loved about you in the first place becomes an annoyance to her and she will constantly chip away at you until before you know it you are a shell of the man you once were.

Then she will say you are not the man I married! She is right! You are not the man she married any more and the reason is because she killed him.

Anyway we digress! The point of this submission as per the title is to put in to words how brilliant our holidays are and how great our bar girl buddies make us feel. For three weeks a year we live the high life and fully indulge in the real girlfriend experience.

Is it real? Is it fantasy? Who cares? Fine dining, partying, dancing, laughter, watching the sun rise together on the beach. Life just doesn’t get any better than that! We know that in the moment these experiences are mutually enjoyed and our bar girl buddies show us care and attention in return for us offering them respect, friendship and the obvious occasional economic assistance! We know they are doing their job, we are not stupid, but what professionalism! We know we have allowed them to get under our skin a little and that’s why it can be painful when you first get back after spending so long in the company of beautiful friendly charming individuals. We also believe we have got under the skin just a little too, the correspondence we get when we get back is truly humbling, and we do not send these girls money when we are in the UK, if anything they have sent us more, a couple of the lads received packages with birthday cards, football shirts for the world cup and locks of hair not to mention hand made scarves etc. At this point people will be cynical of course but we genuinely think we have met a special bunch of girls, in fact we know we have.

Maybe one day one of our number will submit a column about how they have had their heart broken. Maybe all of us will! Who knows? But at this time all we do is go to the LOS and have a fun, vivid, amazing and life enhancing experiences which are unbeatable by any standards!

Please understand that we are annual tourists and we just wanted to offer our take and perception and we have written this for the purpose of telling people how we perceive the LOS and in particular how we perceive the experience of spending time with women from the bar scene, based solely upon our personal experiences of it!

Thank God we have these yearly trips to look forward to where the only focus is how much fun we are going to have. sanook sanook!


Stickman's thoughts:

I think many guys will be able to relate to what you say. I know from emails I receive that many live for their few weeks in Thailand each year!