Stickman Readers' Submissions May 17th, 2011

My Story, Happy and Sad, Follow Up

The Saga Continues:

Readers who remember my last submission “My Story, Happy and Sad” may recall how I fell for a Soi Cowboy bargirl
from The Dollhouse (in my opinion now the Doghouse!) on my first night back in Bangkok following a long absence, paying her to fly down to join me in Phuket where we spent about 6 weeks while
I learned to be a TEFL English teacher, paying for her to fly back to Bangkok for Loy Kratong where she was supposed to pick up her 2-year old daughter and fly back. What she was really doing we will never know, but it was a time for lovers to
be together and I spent it alone in Muang Phuket twiddling my thumbs and staying faithful to Pat. Obviously Pat had her own reasons for staying in Bangkok for a week while I was down south. Anyway, back she flew with her horrible, miserable, spoilt,
badly-behaved little bitch daughter from hell strangely named 'New Year', to take up residence in my room, sleeping with Pat on the floor (I bought all the bedding for them of course) while I slept in the giant bed alone, except for
the odd occasion when the bitch daughter finally went to sleep and I could get my ration on the bed. These sessions were so few and far between I could later remember the date of each one!

He Clinic Bangkok

Then on our return to Bangkok where we checked back into the Honey Hotel, Soi 19, on 13th December she suggested that we take advantage of her daughter being in the care of her 'sister' and make love, but first I should take a shower. This I
was keen to do, and when I emerged from the en-suite shower Pat was gone, along with my 17 1/2” HP laptop, my Kodak Z650 camera and all my money except for a solitary thousand baht note she left in my wallet.

I thought she was indulging her sense of humour and was hiding somewhere, so I looked in the wardrobe, under the bed, outside the room, in the fire escape stairwell, in the lobby and in the coffee shop, but no joke, she had fxxxed off with all my stuff!

One more broken heart added to the tally. Just another turd in the cesspool of life! What the fxxx, screwed over by just one more thieving lying whore bitch slut hooker tart bargirl!

CBD bangkok

I reported it to the hotel – they found the footage on their CCTV system but all the staff denied having seen her leave. There she was, bold as brass, caught on camera with my laptop under her arm and my camera slung over her shoulder, walking
downstairs, through the lobby, past the coffee shop and turning right along Soi 19 towards Sukhumvit Road. <Next stop should have been the police station and why you didn't go there and why the staff did not call the police for you, I will never knowStick>

I spent the night on Soi Cowboy looking for her. I found 3 of her friends in the 'Doghouse' upon whose shoulders I sobbed out my painful story. I thought they were being supportive and I paid their barfine and took them to dinner, but when I
took them all back to the Honey for a few more drinks they each demanded 3000 baht and became aggressive when I told the bloodsucking bitches to fxxx off. In the end I had to settle for a thousand each to get rid of the sluts. Typical bargirls,
I thought – they were all the fxxxing same, no morals, no compassion, just greedy for money and the farang can go hang. Just like all the rest. We were not regarded as men, we were all just self-propelled ATMs.

So I decided to fxxx a few of them and try to get Pat out of my system, but I couldn't get it up and spent a lot of time crying and missing Pat while my remaining capital dwindled.

I tried a few more with similar results, then on December 15th I visited Kiss for the first time. One of the girls was very nice and I enjoyed her company alongside the stage for at least one drink before she called over the best dancer I had ever seen
and introduced us. She was truly spectacular. It turned out she was a coyote dancer and we took an immediate shine to each other. She came and sat with me in the back row once she had finished her dance routine and the bargirl shift climbed up
on the stage to get their tits out, which the coyote girls never did. The 'coyote' thing was beyond my experience, a concept with which I was completely unfamiliar, and naturally I didn't believe my coyote when she said she never
went out with the customers – she only danced for them on the stage and hoped to get tips and drinks. I had it in my mind that ALL the girls in the soi were available for sex. I had become convinced of that during my 35 years of visiting Bangkok,
starting in 1975 when I worked for good old Airwork in the Sultanate of Oman. ALL bargirls fxxxed for money and preferred to be thought of as girlfriends, not prostitutes.

wonderland clinic

Well, I stand corrected! My coyote was the real thing – the genuine article. I'm not saying that all 'coyote dancers' shared the same moral values, I dare say some of them fxxx the punters just as often, or maybe even more than the
bargirls, because they are generally much better looking and some of them can really dance, unlike the bored shuffling and pole-hugging of the actual bargirls. But Kiss has a mamasan who keeps an eagle eye on her coyotes and makes sure they don't
get passed any telephone numbers or scribbled offers of money for sex.

I count myself lucky that my coyote was patient with me and took three days of sitting with her all night until closing time to convince me that she didn't go out. I was eager to impress her and every night slipped her some money under the table,
sometimes 2000 baht, sometimes 5000. Obviously she was pleased with my gentlemanly behaviour and generosity, because on the 3rd day she slipped me her mobile number outside the bar when I was bidding her farewell after sitting in Kiss the whole
night yet again until three in the morning, content for her to sit with me between dance routines and hold hands. I arranged to see her in Foodland, in Soi 5, the only late-night eatery I could find, along with her girlfriend from Kiss who acted
as chaperone. The place was full of African men, which I didn't particularly like the idea of, after reading about all the drug dealers, until I heard one speak with an American accent. I guess I should work on my prejudices as they were
no bother to us. You can't judge a book by looking at the cover.

There, over a cheap but tasty meal, she wrote down her real name and address for me, along with her email address. I gave her mine and we promised to stay in touch while I was back in England. I was delirious. I had got Pat almost out of my heart in record
time with this beautiful young girl's help and it was to become the start of a genuine romance. Don't tell me “bullshit”, read on:

Off to England I flew on 19th December and back to a snowed-in London Heathrow, dressed in a tropical shirt and trousers! My only way to get back to Southampton was in a black London taxi, which cost me more than a week's stay at the Honey Hotel.

We telephoned each other and texted (SMS as the Thais call it) and when I got home I emailed her some of my photos from my PC, as all my recent Thailand photos had left, or rather been abducted, by Pat inside the laptop and camera.

I arranged for the flower shop, Go-Go Florist on several nights to send her bunches of roses, teddy bears and chocolates while she was at work in Kiss. They made her the talk of the bar and she had become a legend in her own time. The girls were unused
to such generosity, but it paid dividends in the long run!

During the remainder of December 2010 and January 2011 I spent most of my waking moments wracking my brains to find a way to get back to Bangkok to my coyote and eventually I hit on an excuse that would fool my wife – I had trained as a TEFL English
teacher whilst in Phuket with Pat the kamoi and I had not succeeded in finding a teaching job, partly I suspect through being too old at 64 years of age. I found Ken Hyde's charity VTT (Volunteer Teacher Thailand) and I got
in touch. Unlike all the other Tsunami charities who make huge profits by being travel agents in disguise, charging volunteers thousands of dollars to come and help out in Thailand for a week or two, Ken only wanted a one-off payment of 3000 Baht,
about £60 just to pay for consumables and rent, etc. and volunteers were welcome to stay as long as they liked. I figured that if I spent 3 months with VTT gaining teaching experience I might stand a better chance of getting a job. Naturally
my real reason was to see my girlfriend again in Kiss, so I concentrated my efforts on this plan.

I had some money and borrowed some more from my family (YES I DO feel guilty for that, but I'll have to live with it) and off I went on 3rd February 2011 back to Bangkok and straight to Kiss that same night to see Koi (I can tell you her nickname
because there are at least 5 other Koi's there!).

After her last dance routine that I was to witness I noticed that she was very tired and I checked her pulse while we sat together. Her heart was racing, much faster than you would expect of a seemingly fit young dancer like her. I was worried she might
have a leaky heart valve and required dangerous surgery and I insisted on taking her to a specialist at the hospital the next day. She complied and I sat in the hospital foyer like an expectant father waiting for the news while she consulted the
heart man. He sounded her heart, did an ECG, a blood test and a couple of scans, and in due course announced that she was Anaemic! Wonderful news – I jumped for joy because I knew she was going to be cured and live a long healthy life if
she looked after herself.

I asked her to stop work in Kiss and spend some time recuperating and I promised I would take care of her financially. I had to go to Khao Lak to teach for VTT so I had no way to check that she was as good as her word, but I told myself I had to believe.
I had to have faith in this wonderful girl and believe everything she told me, otherwise without hope life was not worth living and I would either kill myself or go stark staring mad. I stayed an extra couple of weeks in Bangkok until I was sure
Koi was on the path to recovery then hopped on a VIP bus to Khao Lak, one of the most boring little towns on earth!

At least I could comfort myself in the knowledge that we were in the same country, but I missed her like crazy. I found that the office of the little group of bungalows one of which I was renting for the duration of my stay had a computer for the customers
to use, so I logged into my email. My darling had sent me an email. I was horrified to learn that she had been attacked on the bus going home after seeing me off at the Southern bus terminal and some bastard had tried to wrench the chain from
her neck. She had fought like fury and driven off the kamoi, brave girl, and had retrieved all the broken pieces including the heart pendant and both our initials, all of which I had bought for her. She took a photo of the pieces
with her Blackberry and emailed it to me. Naturally I told her in my reply to conceal any gold she was wearing in public and if she was attacked she should just let the bastard take it – I could buy new gold but I could not buy a new Koi!

Thus started a worrying 2 months in Khao Lak, but we kept up the correspondence by SMS and email and I had a bit of English teaching to do during the week to keep me occupied. The weekends were the most boring time for me, so I used to go to the office
on Saturdays and prepare my lessons for the coming week. Same on Sundays. There was also the chance of an email from Koi, or an SMS.

Eventually my time there passed and I returned to Bangkok, by Thai Airways this time. The miniscule bus seats and the 13 hour trip to Khao Lak had creased me and I wasn't about to do that again. Koi was spending Songkran with her family so I flew
on up to Udon Thani to visit my wife's family. Her youngest sister was there on holiday with her German husband and they helped show me around and organised my nephew to drive me around our various relatives' houses. It was all a bit
uncomfortable because at the back of my mind was the fact that I would soon have to divorce my wife and persuade her to sell our jointly-owned home in England in order to be free to marry Koi and set up house in Thailand.

After Songkran I flew back to BKK and to my beloved Koi, dutifully awaiting my return at Suvarnabhumi. She looked wonderful, but we did not believe in public displays of affection (we are a bit old-fashioned, but I don't see that as a bad thing)
and we just held hands in the back of the taxi back to the Honey Hotel, with just the occasional peck on the cheek.

My beloved told me that she had told her mother about me and she had expressed her approval, but she hadn't told her father. I was still not 100% convinced that Koi was completely committed to the idea of marrying me when I divorced my wife and came
back to Bangkok, so I pressed her to introduce me to her father. She considered it for a couple of days and then surprised the hell out of me by saying she would bring him to dinner on Friday evening! Only after meeting him (I was nervous as a
kitten!) was I fully convinced that my coyote was the real thing and would one day be my wife. I was over the moon. Unfortunately I only had another 10 days left in Bangkok and my wallet was getting a bit thin. Also Koi had to go to a novice monk
ceremony for that weekend where a friend of hers was joining the monastery, which cut down the time we could spend together. While she was away I spent my time walking Sukhumvit and visiting a few old haunts such as the Thermae, which was a shadow
of its former self and The Ship on Soi 23 which I used to know as the George and Dragon run by Doc, a Geordie medic and his wife, and look at one or two new places. Hustlers, in the basement of Sukhumvit Plaza was a nice, relaxed fairly quiet
but large pool parlour where the girls weren't pushy and you could converse over the music! Also they had the most beautiful barmaid anyone could wish for, name of Oil. I spent most of my time gazing at her. I took a walk down to the Nana
Entertainment Plaza to visit my old girlfriend Jumraat, a friend of my wife and fellow go-go dancer in El Toro Grande on Sukhumvit, 32 years ago. She met me in Erotica on the second floor of NEP, where the beer is a bit cheaper than the other
bars and we chatted for a few minutes until she went back upstairs, then I watched the gorgeous young dancers whose tits were clearly visible under their flimsy tops. But I couldn't take one out, I told myself – not only because Jumraat
was in telephone contact with wifey back home, but mainly because I was determined not to betray my lovely Koi. Every girl I looked at I compared with her and they didn't stand up well to the comparison! Then on the way out of Erotica I saw
this vision of loveliness strolling away towards another bar and my magnetic dick took over the directional navigation controls and followed her. She went into a bar so I followed her in. Blimey, all the dancers and hostesses were equally gorgeous
and really elegant! I couldn't believe it. Fortunately when one approached me to ask what I wanted to drink I heard the deep tone of her voice and noticed the manly jaw line! “I think I'm in the wrong place” I spluttered
as I made a lurch for the exit. Unknown to me, and all the girls were boys. But shit, you could easily be mistaken and get a handful of meat and 2 veg to remind you! Not my thing, thanks. I legged it back to the Honey and spent the rest of the
weekend watching TV in my room.

When Koi came back we discussed our plans for the future, sitting in the Honey Coffee Shop. I asked her to come into the lobby to look at something on the internet, but this was a bridge too far, equivalent in Koi's mind to visiting my room like
some ordinary bargirl, a thing she would never do. Then, much sooner than I was ready for, came the time to head off home.

Koi waved me off at the airport in a fabulous long dress I had bought her on one of the Sukhumvit pavement shops that block the flow of pedestrians and irritate the hell out of me normally, but she looked fabulous in it so the peddlars had earned my forgiveness.

Reluctantly I boarded Oman Air to Muscat where I had a night stop before going on to London. It was interesting to see how the place had developed, as I'd spent 6 years working in the Sultanate of Oman, from 1974 to 1980 during which stint I started
visiting Bangkok and fell in love with Thailand, including all it's expert, slutty, world-class bargirls.

I was wracking my brain trying to think how I could broach the subject of divorce with my wife when I got back to England. I didn't want to admit that I had a 20 year old fiancée whom I wanted to marry, which would hurt her unnecessarily, and
I needed her on side to sell our house to finance it. After stumbling around the house wearing a frown for 3 days with my wife hardly speaking to me at all, and still not offering to sleep with me (thankfully!) she threw me into a spin this morning
by saying SHE wanted a divorce. What a surprise. Knock me down with a feather! She said she had wanted a divorce for years and was only waiting for the endowment to pay out because she wanted to sell the house to finance her forthcoming business
formation in Thailand. Problem almost solved. I say 'almost' because she is demanding 75% of the equity plus half my pension and benefits! I'm sure I will find a solicitor who will put a stop to such stupidity on her part. Fair's

Naturally I got straight onto the phone and gave Koi the good news and she was truly delighted. I'll be off to Bangkok as soon as I've realised my share of the equity from the house sale.

I'm keeping the faith and I hope some of you guys will be as lucky as I have been, finding a truly wonderful genuine love in a Bangkok bar. No, I wouldn't have believed it either, before it happened to me, but to those of you who retain a shred
of human decency I say keep trying to believe – behave like a gentleman – trust her if she seems worthy of it and don't ever give up. Genuinely good, wonderful girls (even if they have 'history') are out there!

Try to be worthy of one of them if you can, and don't allow your cynicism to spoil it for both of you. The best of the genuinely nice girls who I assure you exist on the Soi are far better and more worthy human beings than we whoremongers who lust
after them. Sure, they have a real need for money – there's no welfare state in Thailand and the girls loyally support their parents back home, so you will need to be generous as well as trusting and faithful, so if you can't
handle that then …

Thank you for reading my continuing saga – an ex-whoremonger.

Stickman's thoughts:

I wish you well and really do hope it works out for the two of you, but with you at 64 years of age, and her a mere 20, I'd say on age difference alone, let alone some of the other issues that seem to exist, the odds of success aren't great!

nana plaza