Readers' Submissions

Hart of Darkness Part 6




Changing the subject, I ask Beemo if he's married to Ashfeen.

"I could perform the nuptials if you want, Captain."

Beemo tells me it cant be done. He's already got a wife in Batam. One more would be bigamy. On further probing, it turns out he's also got one in Jakata, Medan, Lombok, Flores and Bali. But his proudest achievement is his schoolgirl girlfriend right here in Batam.

"Hmmmm…can't really give my blessing to that union Beemo!"

He tells me in his most obsequious manner we are just the same.

"Well…not exactly the same old son. You're a polygamist and I'm, strictly speaking, celibate".

“How many kids you got Beemo?

“Dunno, not sure.”

“How many grandkids?”

“Dunno, not sure.”

Suddenly he brightens. “I know I got kid with New Zealan' lady!”

“Good for you Old Cock.”

“You think I can go live in New Zealan'?”

“I'm 100% sure you can Captain! You go there, they will probably make you Prime Minister!”

“Really?!?”

“You think so?!?”

"Absolutely certain of it! No doubt about it!"

"Tell you what, let's write a letter to the Big Boogah!"

"Who dis Big Boogah?"

"He's only the King of New Zealand, that's who. Personal friend of mine!"

"Meestah Hart, I tired writing letter."

"I understand old chum. It's hard work writing all these letters."

Silence…

"Wouldn't mind a beer Beemo."

"You wanna go Auntie Fatima?"

"Where's she at and what do I get when I get there?"

"Not far, she mamasan, many girl, cold beer, you like, nice place…lomantic."

"You're in the zone Beemo…let's go!"

To be continued…