One Of (The Few?) Success Stories
I was first exposed to Thailand when on holiday (with the ex) in 2001. I had very little exposure to the bar scene on that trip (only from the street) but was enamoured by the place and its people.
A couple of years later I separated from my wife and ended up back in Thailand as a single guy for the purpose of meeting my younger brother's Thai fiancé’s family. Long story made short, he was over in Thailand setting up an export business and met this lovely girl from quite an affluent family. They basically wanted to meet another member of his family so he called me promising a great trip. This I had. I was 51 years old (all be it in good shape!) and made to feel like I was 25 again! I had a little exposure to the bar scene before I flew up north to meet “the family”. It wasn’t only the bar scene that made me feel this way, it was also the female attention I received from the friends and relatives. But this was a very traditional family. I was steeped in the rich culture which totally captured me.
On my return to Australia, I was determined to learn more about the Thai culture and people. Luckily I found Stickman's site which was absolutely invaluable. I read it avidly for weeks, soaking up all of the experiences related by the personal articles. I also joined a Thailand Friends site and started chatting to Thai men / women and also “farang” living in Thailand.
Then, one day, a list of “new members” popped up and one photo of a gorgeous lady really took my eye. I immediately sent her a welcome message and surprisingly received a prompt reply thanking me for my message and offering her MSN details. We started to chat on MSN and just clicked. We talked nearly every evening which soon elevated to me regularly calling her on the phone. I really liked this lady. She was a high school English teacher who also managed a regional English cultural centre. She had a 7-year old son from a 2-year marriage to a Thai guy who treated her like sh*t. Since she had managed to successfully divorce him, she had been in a relationship with another Thai guy who would not commit. In the whole 5-year period of their relationship, he had never even met her son (he lived in a different city). They only saw each other on “some” weekends as they were both professional people working long hours. She was teaching many weekend and evening classes to help make ends meet (no child support from the ex). She eventually broke up with the boyfriend about 6 months prior to joining the Friends web site which she regarded as part of her recovery.
About three months of chatting on MSN and periodic phone calls, I visited Thailand and we met in Bangkok. She was there on a government course. We really enjoyed each other's company. I felt totally relaxed with her and she enjoyed my no expectation manner. After about a week of meeting daily, we drove to Koh Chang Island and spent a few days there together where she invited me to her hometown to meet her family. I stayed in a hotel and she stayed with her family. It then came time for me to fly back to Australia. Neither of us wanted to leave each other, but we both agreed that we should just keep in touch and see how we felt in a couple of months' time. Not once did she ask me for money or support in any way.
Well, needless to say, we missed each other more than ever. I asked her to visit me in Australia but she could only manage a week. It was magical. I then visited her in Thailand as often as I could and on my third trip I asked her to marry me. By then, I had met her large circle of friends and family and had been well accepted. Just before returning to Australia, I proposed to her in a restaurant with all of her friends, her son and her parents present.
We were married in Australia the following year and then had an excellent Buddhist marriage in her hometown later in the year, actually on Christmas Day.
My new wife joined me in Australia on permanent (spouse) visa with her son in March, 2005. She now runs her own successful business and is one of the smartest women I know. She is kind, open-minded, fair and works every bit, if not harder than I do. We respect and care for each other and are still very much in love.
To sum up. From the many experiences I have read about on Stickman's site and also some of my own with Thai ladies I have gotten to know, my advice would be to enjoy the bar scene for what it is. I have met some great bar girls and had some great times with them – it's party time! But, if you want a serious long term relationship, go find a GTG (good Thai girl). Find the right Thai girl who genuinely wants a loving relationship and you’ll have the most loyal and loving wife. It doesn’t guarantee a happy ever after story but it certainly greatly improves your chances! Be smart, look for the tell tale signs of someone being in a relationship with you for the wrong reasons and don’t ignore your gut feelings. If you are not sure, find some way of checking it out.
And by the way Stickmeister, I love your photography. I am back to Thailand this weekend for a couple of weeks and you have inspired me to take to the streets with my digital SLR.
It is always nice to hear these positive stories. Yep, choose a good one, take your time and you increase your chances of being happy exponentially!