Readers' Submissions

Fact Checker: Female Sex Tourism / Cougars


This is my second submission with the words “Fact Checker” in the title and it is no accident. Stick is pretty good about publishing anyone’s thoughts on matters Thailand, but some writings really get under my skin, especially those in which the author has really let his emotions get in the way of facts. As Stick’s site has an international audience, what we read about happenings in other lands, we may assume it is the truth. We all like to tell the occasional “stretcher” to make a story more interesting, but when the manure is being spread a little too liberally that I start fidgeting at my keyboard. I am certainly guilty of this with some of my stories, but when talking “facts” I at least try to double check them before I type them on my screen. I know too well that the good engineers at Google have made it incredibly easy to cross check anything I have written. Some people, though, seem to believe we Stickmanites are incapable of typing a few words into our Google toolbar. For those few who write nonsense as truth, I say beware, lest you find your submission’s title reprinted with the prefix “Fact Checker”.

The particular sub in question starts with the usual rant about middle-aged western women and how they drove their honest, hardworking western men to far-flung SE Asia to seek sexual fulfillment. I am sure this is true in some cases but as many of you know, I don’t usually buy into this line of thinking for one simple reason: I have many middle-aged friends who seem quite content with their present spouses. Mostly, this excuse is presented by those looking for a better reason than libido enhancement to be in Thailand, drinking beer all day and chasing bar girls at night. If that is your real reason for being in Thailand then say it proudly like a man; don’t hide behind the rather large skirt of your ex-wife. “I love Thai pussy and I will mortgage my future to get it!” If this author, or any other for that matter, had said that phrase, I would have sat back in my chair content with the male species and proud to be part it. Instead, I am forced to Google the truth and present it here to you.

The reason for using the “ugly, demanding western women drove me to Soi Cowboy” rant was caused by an article in The Independent newspaper about women sex tourists and how, according to the sub’s author, “they said it was not sex for payment but they supplied presents and that it was a loving tender relationship without commercial interest.” Also, the author said “of course, even this liberal paper didn't see fit to interview the providers”. It seemed like a clear case of PC (politically correctness) letting those slutty western women off the hook for their mongering ways where men’s penises are as big and round as the coconut trees they live under. I had to investigate further.

After two different Google searches, I found the offending article. Here it is:

If you have taken the time to read the article, you will notice the women who were profiled make no bones about what they are doing: pay-4-play, pure and simple. Why would they need to interview providers if the women are truthful about what they are doing? And the article’s author is not mincing words about what she thinks of these activities. How many times have we read the following words before, only this time the judgment is pointed at women mongers:

For others, this is exploitation pure and simple. Even where no money is exchanged, this sort of behaviour destabilises local communities and families. Ignorance and lack of concern about the abject poverty and lack of choice that characterises the men's lives leads the women to romanticise their actions.

But the author doesn’t stop there. She goes on to chastise organizations like Amnesty International and UNICEF, groups who focus on protecting trafficked women and children, for not having a similar policy for male victims. For a female author writing for a “liberal” newspaper, she’s having none of the hypocrisy regarding women mongers; what’s good for the gander is good for the goose.

In an interesting twist, the author points out that many women do this because middle-aged western men have rejected them for being heavier and older looking. This seems to be the complaint of male middle-agers who believe their chubby love interests are only interested in svelte youngsters. Which group of it’s-not-my-fault’ers is right? Also, like their male mongers, most women interviewed seem to know this is a fantasy world that ends when you step off the plane, while a small group fall in love with their rented sexual partners and try to bring them home. The success rate of a life happily together, like those between farang men and Asian women, is not very good. As pointed out in the article, the women, like the men who read Stick regularly, are finding out that vast age and cultural differences do not a happy couple make, no matter how good the sex is.

If both genders of sex tourists have similar stories to tell of failed love attempts back home, who is to blame? Who drove who out first to look for love (sex) in exotic locales? Who got fat and dumpy and boring first? Who became greedy and demanding first? Indeed, considering they have so many traits in common you would think they would get along famously. One answer might be to have part of the arrival area of major western airports sectioned off for sex tourists only, where returning mongers of both sexes can mingle, compare notes, and maybe strike up a new relationship. As each party knows the other is single, loves sex, and is beyond the grip of PC, they would have a lot in common. The love interests (excuse me, exploited innocents) may not appreciate this service as it would definitely cut into their profits.

But this whole issue of PC seems a bit strange to me. Certainly, this is a story that shows some of the hypocrisy behind PC and how some adherents are now bending the rules in their favor. Those that once burned their bras in protest now take them off for young men in Jamaica. In fact, they have been bending the rules for some time to the point that the moral power behind PC seems miniscule and unimportant. Certainly, it’s not a reason to upset your whole life and move to Thailand. Again, I say, if you love Thai pussy (or Jamaican hard dicks) just admit it and feel free to follow your dream. You may not find happiness, but at least you’ll be an honest monger.


Stickman's thoughts:

I very much agree with you and I respect the guy who says he visits for the pussy.

On the subject of who is wrong and who drove who to seek pleasures in lands afar, I have a theory that may be a small contributing factor. I think most of us reach a point in life where we become fixed in our ways and we become very difficult to live with. This happens at different ages for different people but for most of us I reckon that by 40 our tolerance is pretty low. As such we become less attractive to the opposite sex as we are less flexible and less willing to compromise. Those who marry early "grow" with their partner and hopefully they both end up on the same path. Those who don't marry by say 40, or find themselves divorced at that age may find their relationship options are thinner than they think due to their and others lack of tolerance and being unwilling to compromise.