How To Better Weed Out The Psycho Ones

It has been a while since I contributed to this site, but now I feel that I have something of substance to add after reading post after post on problems with foreign women. Many folks write about these negative experiences, and much has already been offered in the way of advice on how to avoid these kinds of terrible situations.

I seriously tried to do my best to find a "Good Girl", and to make a long story short I ended up meeting a Philippine woman while in HK who seemed to fit the bill perfectly. The relationship started to perfectly (The first red flag looking back now). Everything was fine until she got to the US, when the "monster" started to emerge from my wonderful wife. My first hint that something was terribly wrong with her mind was when I started to notice that she seemed to totally lack true empathy for anyone else, including even her young daughter from her prior marriage from which she was a widow, and towards me as well. On the other hand she was “uber” hyper sensitive to anything coming from anyone that she perceived to be directed at her, real or not it made no difference. One crazy part is that I am now closer to her, daughter from her prior marriage, than she is, due to the fact that a child knows when they are really loved, vs when someone is just acting the role of a loving parent. My wife's family is tight and they are normal for the most part. They seem to be simple good honest people, so there just was no writing on the wall so to say, or any other signs that she may be predisposed to some mental disorder like this. "So much for the idea that women from the PI make better wives". The only advantage with a woman from the PI vs Thailand, is that if she does have an affair, that you can trash her reputation, and even sue her in the PI. It seems to me that adultery carries little stigma in Thailand, especially with lower cast women, they could care less as long as they have some cash or assets from the whole thing.

The situation deteriorated to the point where I was basically clinically depressed, due to her psychologically abusive behavior. The only thing that had any effect at all on her was when she was humbled by my going off on her when I blew the lid off of her affair. Yes she had a thing going behind my back for almost 5 years, with some controlling guy on the internet who knew just how to manipulate her insatiable need for attention. It ended with the little whore flying to another city where of course he screwed her, (one time only). After this she had some kind of guilt, so she told me "half the story" in a pathetic attempt to come clean, after the guy basically dumped her when he had gotten what he wanted, her pussy. The trouble was that she left out the fact that she had slept with him, which to my horror I discovered on her computer 10 days later, which is when I called her a no good slut and a whore in front of another family member. This seemed to really affect her, and for the first time she cried and seemed to show some signs of real remorse.

At this point in time I still cannot be sure if she is indeed sincere about wanting to fix the marriage, or if it is just another show to save face, or to avoid the social consequences of being labeled a cheating slut, which is a big deal in her family, village, and in her culture for her. I did not tell everyone because this information is my last effective "ammunition" if things do go south, to get a divorce on my terms. So I just saved all the evidence and records of her affair in my safely deposit box. One further condition was her signing a post-nuptual agreement. (Yes there is such a thing, and the courts in my state DO recognize them) . The agreement basically defines who gets what in the event of a divorce and it stipulates that she would have to pay all attorney fees if the divorce, or the post-nuptual agreement was ever contested.

This brings me to the main point of this submission, which is: There IS a way to avoid these kind of nasty deceptions by broken and messed up women, who themselves may not even be aware that they are messed up in the head. The answer simply is a good psychiatrist on your side…….. If I could do it all over again, or if I ever end up in a similar situation, I would NEVER get married again without first having a complete mental health work up done on the lady. In my wife's case she is a textbook low level case of "Histrionic Personality Disorder" which is one of several borderline personality disorders. Years ago most folks with one of these disorders were lumped into a single category which was as a "psychopath". A common thread with these disorders is a completer lack, or seriously reduced ability to feel empathy for others with an unhealthy excessive fixation on themselves, these are mostly extreme forms of general narcissism.

My guess is that if the many guys reading this column, has done this one simple thing, then most of these unfortunate stories could have been avoided (Mine Included, isn't 20/20 hindsight wonderful!) Doing this is not as hard to do as it sounds, in the US for example you have 90 days to get married once she arrives, this gives you ample time to complete a full mental health work up in person. Yes you could have the work up done in her country as well, but I am not sure how reliable psychiatrists in Thailand and the PI are?

Every guy, and I mean every last one with a mind, who is looking for a long term relationship should in my opinion memorize the very basic characteristics of these common personality disorders:

Borderline personality disorder (DSM-IV code 301.83): extreme "black and white" thinking, instability in relationships, self-image, identity and behavior often leading to self-harm and impulsivity. Borderline personality disorder occurs in 3 times as many females as males.[5]

Stickman's thoughts:

There are a lot of crazy women out there, but in fairness, there are just as many crazy guys in Thailand. I don't have a sister or a daughter, but if I did, I would not want her anywhere near the vast majority of Western men in Thailand.