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My Story (A Young Man Returns to LOS) Part 5

  • Written by BuffaloBoy
  • February 17th, 2011
  • 8 min read



I remember making love to Lek in my hotel, we would sleep all day, eat and make love then sleep again. We talked very little and she barely spoke English but it didn't matter, I had my own little world, and I wished I could stop time, and stay there forever with her. When I watched her I saw everything I could ever want. She would watch me and laugh at me as I tried to eat Thai food. We would walk on the beach at night holding hands and she would point up to the stars and says names in Thai. She used to…

"I come tomorrow ok?" Lek asked.

I looked at Fon.

up to you

"No"

"You no lub me?"

"You no lub me!"

"Yes, I no love you"

"Bye bye"

"bye bye"

I felt heartbroken, but I knew I had made the right decision. I talked to Fon about it and told her Lek was crazy for ditching me and expecting me to wait for her when she had a fiancée and then calling me weeks later, like nothing happened and making me look like that bad guy!

It was actually quite simple to Fon who understood it perfectly. She laughed and said, "She have farang she no call you, farang go home now she alone she no have money, she call you."

At this point Fon got even more obsessed with me even though I insisted I was a butterfly. Maybe it meant something to her that I chose her over Lek?

I was taking a shower and she walked in looked at me then walked out. I asked her why she did that, she said "I think you talk telephone, in showa".

She would take my phone when I wasn't looking and delete girls numbers out of my contacts list. <That is grounds for instant dismissal and any guy who doesn't crack down on that sort of BS immediately was born without a spineStick> I would go to out for 20 minutes to get food and she would think I butterflied on her. <WTF? She is supposed to be the one who goes out and gets you food!Stick>

When I did butterfly on her she never got violent but she would get very angry and sad. She was a really quiet, timid girl, and appeared stable and calm on the outside. As time went by I realized that she was very insecure and jealous, and had a couple of screws loose. One time I found a note in the desk drawer that said, "I'm sorry but you no like me". I asked her about it and she denied writing it. Maybe she was gonna take off on me and leave the note,when I went to the store or something but she changed her mind.

The next day we took the ferry to Koh Larn. We got off the boat at Tawen Beach and I wanted to walk to find a hotel, but I was very tired, carrying my heavy backpack and I had Fon with me who like your average bargirl can't walk more than 100 meters, so I asked a motorbike taxi.

I love these Thai taxi drivers and every time I go to a new area that I don't know I try to convince a taxi driver to take me to the center of town where there are many hotels and I can walk around and find one myself. They never agree and they always take me to a solitary hotel in the middle of nowhere. Of course he takes us to an overpriced hotel priced at 1200 baht, cost for journey 100 baht, so I tell him I want a cheaper and close to civilization and off we go for another 100 baht. This hotel is 800 baht but still in the middle of nowhere, but it comes with a free motorbike, and I'm not about to spend another 100 baht to look for another hotel bringing my cost of searching up to 300 baht and then defeating the purpose of finding a cheap hotel so I take the hotel which was on Naban Beach.

I wanna do some exploring so we walk up to the motorbike and I assure Fon that I know how to drive it even though I had never driven one before. It's automatic so I figure how hard can it be! There's no way I can fuck this up. So I try to look like I know what I'm doin while I play around trying to figure out how to start it, and work the kickstand. I start it up and off we go, no helmets, on to a sketchy road that's about 8 feet wide with some scary hills, and a lot of scary looking dogs loitering about.

Now I'm simultaneously pretending that I know what I'm doing and acting like I know where I'm going when I really have no clue where the fuck we are and I'm tying not to crash. So we're cruising along and Fon keeps pointing to the left and saying something, I look to the left thinking she wants me to turn down a road but there's no road there, so I ignore her.

Then a guy on an ATV comes barreling down the road, and he's driving on the wrong side heading straight for me. Fon keeps pointing to the left when there's nothing there. So this guys coming straight at me and he veers around me at the last minute and yells something unintelligible. Fon keeps pointing to the left and is starting to get angry, and that's when it dawns on me that in Thailand they drive on the left side of the road and I'm actually on the wrong side.

So I'm startin to get the hang of this and I'm not going into oncoming traffic when I decide to stop for some photos. This bike is confusing cause the god-damn throttle is backwards so I turn and my hand slips and I and I accelerate rapidly up on to the sidewalk. I'm in a state of panic now so I instinctively hold the throttle tight and try to slow down but the goddamn thing is backwards so I speed up towards the jungle and a sketchy hill. I finally let go and pull the brakes and somehow stay on my feet. That's when I realize Fon's not on the bike.

I hear somebody yelling angrily in Thai so I look behind me and see her getting off the ground about 30 feet away. She musta fell off when I hit that curb. She scraped her knee and her elbow. Good thing nothing serious cause she's got no helmet and I don't think there is a hospital on this sketchy island. I spent about 5 minutes arguing with her trying to convince her to get on the back of the bike and she just stood there with her arms crossed. So I let her take over.

After that and we explored the island, getting lost half the time. It's a really beautiful island with a lot of quiet beaches. Fon said she had been to Koh Larn many times. I wondered if it was customers that took her there like I was doing.

I had still not gotten over the food poisoning. It would come and go and, it hit me pretty bad so we lounged in the hotel room and made love then fell asleep. Fon started to show genuine care for me. She noticed I was skinny and didn't eat a lot and I told her about my health problems. I have chrons disease and it affects my appetite. She would always bring me food and remind me to eat and take my medicine. She even spoon fed me. She would always clean the hotel room and give me massages and she really knew how to take care of a man. I've never had a farang woman take care of me like that. In fact this pseudo relationship with a prostitute that I had found myself in was better than any relationship I ever had with a farang woman. I woke up and it was afternoon.

We headed down to Ling Beach where I bought some bananas to feed the monkeys with. The beach was full of Russians but no monkeys. Next to the beach was an abandoned village, I searched it and the nearby jungle but I couldn't find any monkeys, so I ate all the bananas.

Fon saw me eating and told me, "you, ling, same same." I laughed.

We did some more exploring then went back to the hotel. It was around 5pm and I didn't wanna get stuck on the island so we took the ferry back to Patts.

We got back to Patts at around 7pm and took a baht bus to Soi Buakhao. I had to walk around and look for a hotel. I hate walking around Thailand looking for hotels while carrying a backpack that weighs slightly less than your average bargirl. The heat doesn't help either. I always look for cheap rooms around 500 baht so I can't ask a taxi driver to find me one due to their commission. I can't make reservations because I never have a plan, I never know what part of Thailand I'm gonna be in at any given day. It's just funnier that way. High season is even worse as most hotels are full, nobody bothers to put a sign on the door so you waste time walking in and asking. On this trip I discovered Soi Buakhao and it is now my favorite street – nice cheap rooms and still not that far from the beach and Walking Street, perfect for a cheap Charlie like me.


Stickman's thoughts:

That episode on the motorbike wasn't funny at all. Putting yourself at risk is one thing but putting someone else in that position is reckless, arrogant and shows an incredible selfishness.