Readers' Submissions

Lost Love



I'm sure if you're reading this then at some point you've had your heart broken. Maybe it was your first love or maybe it was your last love. You either put yourself back together and became stronger or you're still not over it and it keeps dragging you down in life. Is this the reason you're a monger? Are you so strong now that you don't believe in relationships anymore? Are you so heartbroken that you pay someone to spend time with you trying to recapture a lost love? Get over it.

The bar girl from last month can't remember you. She doesn't miss you. She wants the money of the guy talking to her right now. If you're sponsoring her then you're just stupid. Smarten up and keep the money you worked so hard to get. I bet she never sent you a birthday card via airmail. Maybe some quick e-mail among the many she sends everyday.

You are a monger. Embrace what you are. You understand life is short and you are doing what makes you happy regardless of what other people think. All of your resources go towards supporting this lifestyle. You would rather go on vacation than buy a new car. You only see the negatives in your friends' relationships. Your only focus in life is to get back to where you think you belong.

But is this where you belong? Do you belong in a tropical and affordable paradise where you can live like a king? Where society is so corrupt you can pay your way out of trouble? Is this true happiness? No.

Much like people that become obsessive, you see your sunny paradise through rose tinted glasses. You overlook societal problems and political instability. You don't care about the menacing stares and intrusive questions when going through Customs. You overlook the tens of thousands you've spent over the years. Sure it's a cheap vacation but you've been going at least twice a year over the last two decades. You have a problem and you need help.

Get in a regular relationship at home. She will take all of your money and time (just like the bar girls). You will have to support her family. You won't pay a sin sot but you will have to buy a ring she can show off to her friends that will probably cost more than a sin sot. She will rack up your credit cards and put you in debt rather than steal money from your ATM card (at least that was money you had). Later she will divorce you and take half of everything you had. Your love will be lost. At least you can go back to Thailand to try and forget it. That is where you belong whether you can accept it or not.

You can worry about costs and dysfunctional relationships you will eventually end up in. Just try to keep the Buddhist belief of impermanence in your mind. If you have money now it will be spent later. No matter how perfect a relationship is, it is destined to come to an end. Whether through mistrust or simply when someone passes away from old age. There is no perfect life. If you believe in karma then all of the bad things you have done will come back to you. Life is what you make of it. Just do your best and enjoy yourself.

So where does all of this leave you? It leaves you exactly where you are. Working hard to get back to the land of smiles. Now you know love will be lost. That is inevitable. It is enjoying the moments before it is lost that will make your life worthwhile. Buy your bar girl an extra lady drink. Heck, buy her friend one too. It will help them forget about the guy that did the exact same thing last month.

What you really need is a second obsession. One to balance off your obsession with Thailand. Maybe the stock market. If you have an obsession that can finance your other obsession then it is win-win. Just make sure not to get down over a stock you lost money on. Just like bar girls, another one will come around that will make you very happy. Have you set up a Thai savings account during your many travels to the kingdom? Bet you didn't realize you have an offshore account that all of the rich people in your home country have. Also bet you didn't realize that your Thai bank has an introduction service for its brokerage division for wealthy foreigners. You may not think you have enough money to qualify but if you put a little away each trip over two decades then the sky's the limit. Don't think of your mongering trips as a complete waste. It may turn out very lucrative in the end. You may end up with many lost loves but at least you'll be in a nice beach house.

Just remember it's better to have lost love than to have lost money. Money can always get you another love.


Stickman's thoughts:

I believe that we should live a lifestyle that makes us happy, without disregarding pride and dignity.

I personally don't think any obsession is a good thing, be it obsession with Thailand or anything else.