Readers' Submissions

My Good Girl Part 2, The Truth

  • Written by Mike
  • January 20th, 2011
  • 14 min read


A little less than 2 years ago Stickman posted a reader's submission from me entitled “My Good Girl”. I wrote the submission shortly after I returned from a visit with her in Bangkok. After spending time with my special lady my hopes were high and I was delighted to say the least. At this point the reader is likely thinking that this is another “Thai girl did me wrong story”. Well, it isn't. Things have worked out very well with my now wife and I think an update is in order. The problem is simply that the the “done me wrong” stories are more interesting. This is the third time I have started to write this as I think it needs to be said. I am going to do my best to make it interesting. I am not like Sawadee2000 who can write a story about a washing machine and make it interesting to read. I think I got lucky, but luck happens when we are prepared to accept it. I read heartbreaking stories about men that get shredded by a bar girl and unload by telling their story on these pages. Having had sporadic encounters with these lovelies over the past 40 years I certainly understand how and why they get so hooked. I could have so easily but I always pulled back and fortunately saw things the way they were rather than how I wanted them to be.

About me

I am now 62, live in the Midwestern US, have a good middle class income and lifestyle. I own a small home that is well furnished and have a good car. I think for my age I am still probably fairly attractive with a bit of a belly and some gray hair. Probably like many reading this right now. I consider myself to be a nice guy, polite and respectful. I do have a backbone and if I have something on my mind I am not shy to speak it, but respectfully. I have been married and divorced twice before. The first was just a stupid mistake for both of us but the second was a marriage from hell. This ex makes Chiang Mai Kelly's Princess look like a nun! Enough said there. Anyway, you get the picture that I am an ordinary guy, not rich nor poor, not exceptionally handsome, not ugly, not extraordinarily witty and charming, but not a bore either. About 3 years ago I thought I wanted a Thai wife and this story is about how it worked for me so far as it has been well over 2 years since I began.

About her

My wife – let's call her Noi, is now ages 46 with 2 grown children. I would have to say that although she is attractive she is not a stunner as Thai women go. At 4'10” and 95 lbs she is slight, but very fit with nice curves. A few times in my city people have told her “you are so cute”. As a child she grew up in rural Korat with 7 children, no running water and no electricity. Her father owned a market where he sold vegetables, fruit, and other food items while her mother had babies and took care of them. She describes her childhood as happy and always has a warm smile when she tells me about it. At some point when she was still a child her father was shot and killed by some man. This left her mother with 7 children, the youngest an infant, and no income. Noi was forced by circumstances to leave school and work in the rice fields. She deeply regrets not finishing school, but I have found her to be self-educated. She is a “news junkie” like me and we even discussed the rise of the baht in currency markets and how this would effect the Thai trade balance. She has attended English school here and has done rather well. Both children are attending a university in Bangkok.

After a time she moved from Korat to Bangkok and performed cleaning work with her Aunt, always faithful in sending money to mom to care for her younger siblings. She then began selling reading materials at a Bangkok bus station. It was there that she met her Thai husband. A handsome man with a “sweet mouth”, he won her affections. Fast forward some time and she now has a man that beats her, gets drunk, cheats on her, and steals all the money from a quite successful business they started together. She finally extricated herself from him with much difficulty due to his persistent manipulations. During this time she took care of her dying mother, raised her 2 small children, and worked everyday. Her family helped. I do not know how much they were involved but I am convinced that they are very solid people and their relationship is indeed very close. She lost a brother in a motorcycle accident and her mother due to cancer. (I think mom was in her 50s.) In the US many people that have had such experiences have a heaviness about them. Not Noi. She will not speak badly about her husband. The things she has told me were not born in hateful bitterness but rather in a factual manner. She remains a gentle, happy, loving person with no baggage. She is a “people magnet” and her kind, loving nature attracts good people to her and she has made some very dear friends in our city. I think it's a reflection of her character and a reflection of her Buddhist faith.

About Us

We met at Thai Number 1 Introductions in November 2008. I paid their introduction fee because I didn't know how to meet good Thai women and this method provided a fast track. They got right to work and I met 5 very lovely, attractive women. My head was spinning over the lovely women I met and I didn't know how I would decide. Much to my surprise, all were interested in me. Perhaps it was their only opportunity to meet a Farang. I really don't know but when I met Noi it didn't matter anymore, it was absolutely electric! I cannot adequately describe the experience and love at first sight is something I simply don't believe in. It was like a meeting of minds, making a genuine connection and equally present for both of us. After spending as much time as I could with this lovely lady I flew back to the US with much to think about.

I reflected on the women that I had met in Thailand for about a month but I could have made a decision sooner. I am still amazed that I apparently had my choice of 6 lovely Thai women as Thai No.1 had told me that all were very interested in me. I narrowed my selection to two. Of course Noi, and another that was young, stunning, and very hot. In a battle with what little head wanted I chose to listen to big head and chose Noi. I offered her a trip to the US and told her that if it didn't work out in three months I would pay for her to return to Thailand. This decision could be made by her or me. With a US K1 Visa you must be married in 90 days. We would be engaged for the visa but still have a way out if we had problems. I insisted that Noi attend English school in Thailand while we sorted the visa out. I didn't offer to pay for school and I wasn't asked. My thinking at the time was that she needed to have some skin in the game the same as me. She enrolled shortly and to my surprise did very well! Thai No 1 was retained to prepare the forms and documents for the visa and we were well on the way. I must add here that Thai No 1 did a superb job.

Noi and I spoke on the phone frequently, but the phone calls just don't quite measure up to face to face communication. Having studied body language I really think that perhaps this is more about communication than what you say. I was both delighted and relieved when Noi invited me to Thailand for Songkran. Not wanting to throw water on a new relationship (pun intended), I suggested March instead. I spent the better part of March 2009 with my new girlfriend. We went to visit many of the sites I had not seen since I was stationed in Vietnam and did my R & R in Thailand. I met most of her immediate family, sisters and grown children. They were delightfully polite and seemed to me to be very solid people. They were all well presented and Noi shared a condo with 2 sisters that was very nice but not what I would call luxurious. Of course I paid for our entertainment, food and such, but occasionally Noi or her sister would pay for small items over my protest. On my last day in Bangkok we had dinner with two sisters, her children, and her best friend. It was a very nice restaurant with good food and snappy service. I thoroughly enjoyed this event. I had made sure that the waiter knew that I should get the bill no matter what anyone else told him. I even tipped him 100 Baht in advance to make sure. I was quite surprised when I got the bill totaling about 2,000 baht! There were 9 of us at a very nice restaurant with plate after plate of food and more than a few drinks. In my city the equivalent would be at least 5 times that amount!

In September of 2009 her K1 Visa was blessed by the American Embassy and Noi would travel to my Midwestern city in early October. I picked her up at the airport in my city and began the final leg of the “find a Thai wife” journey. After she had a chance to rest a bit, we took a tour of what would be her new home. She was a bit surprised at the size of my home although it is small by US standards. With the house built on a small piece of land, like most in the US, she thought we lived in the country. The clothes dryer, dish washer, and oven were something of a curiosity to her as she knew about them but had never seen them. She was very curious about them and wanted to know how they worked. I instructed her on the operation of these strange devices. The big payoff for Noi came with an early snowfall. She had never seen snow, at least not real snow. She had seen it on television but never experienced it. We went outside to have a bit of play in the snow time. It was a joyful experience for Noi and she relished it with the enthusiasm of a child. We were married in December.

Sex

This is not going to be an explicit account by any means, but rather a few things I found interesting. Firstly, Noi has not ever been involved in any pay 4 play activities but rather has a more traditional Thai woman's attitude about sex. Her idea is that since we are old, her now 46, me 62 is that sex is to be infrequent. However, she will accommodate me to perform her wifely duties. Once we have began the intimacy rises to a high intensity resulting in a very satisfying experience for both of us. I would add it is indeed quite good for her! If she wants sex she will never ask me but rather provides subtle hints and counts on me to be the instigator add perhaps coax a bit. I do find this a bit odd in my Western mind but honestly how can I complain when I get great loving sex just about any time I want!

Money

My experience with Noi is contrary with every other experience I have ever had or read about with a Thai woman. My wife is tight with money, and I don't mean just a little. This could be another submission on its own but I'll try to keep it brief. When she arrived in my city she obviously needed warm clothes that she did not have. We made a trip to the store and secured a coat and gloves for her. Continuing on, she would need some warm casual pants and shirts to wear around the house and surely snow boots. She stiffened and stated “not need”. Of course I told her she would need them and she disagreed. “You spend, spend (and I) not need!” I thought maybe she did not like the selection and suggested another store. Nope, no deal. I ended up just buying them anyway and told her if she didn't want to wear them that was OK but she would be glad I did when it became colder. She considers it only her responsibility to send money to her family. There was a time when her university student son needed some money. I caught the gist of it and offered to send some. She agreed and suggested $200. Well that isn't much so I sent $500. Let me say she was not at all happy that I upped the amount. Another time after she was working she had a Thai that she knew send money to her sister promising to pay her back when she got paid. When she got her paycheck she was a little short and asked me for a loan so she could pay her friend back. Of course I did it was not a large sum at all and she still considers it a loan even when I told her mai bpen rai. I could go on but you get the idea.

It gets better. After she started work her pay was direct deposited in our joint account. I carefully explained her check stub and showed her where the deposit had been made in our account. She withdrew I think about $300. She has an ATM debit card the same as I do but I think she is more comfortable using cash. That same day when we went out to eat she wanted to pay, and later at the grocery store she paid the $100+ bill. I allowed her to do this because I could tell that for some reason it was important to her to do so. This pattern has continued and although I can't quite get my head around it I accept it and it provides satisfaction for her. I make well over 3 times her earnings.

I have a very high quality loving marriage with a wonderful woman that happens to be from Thailand. She is my best friend, my lover and my companion. My grown children as well as close friends have told me that she loves me so much. Once after a beer or two she told me that she loved me like her family. I am sure I know exactly what that means and it was heart warming to be bestowed that status. She is not much of an alcohol drinker and 2 beers makes her tipsy. It is funny when she tips a couple her English actually improves and it acts as a sort of truth serum on her and whatever is on her mind comes out. She takes care of me like only a good Thai woman can. I am waited on, pampered, and cooked wonderful Thai food. In return she has a husband that would do anything for her. She is open minded about the cultural differences in America although at times she is surprised. Noi has her goal set to become an American citizen and is working towards that end.

In the beginning of this post I said I was lucky. Somewhere someone said “Luck happens when preparation meets opportunity”. If one can have a good relationship with a bar girl no argument there. As I read I think the odds are something like a 2% success rate. (Help me out here, Stick) <That's probably a little on the low side, but would be surprised if the success rate is double figuresStick> I think the overriding thought is that kindness and financial support will equal opportunity and the bar girl will change. I have found over the years that people seldom change and a good rule to live by is to stop and look objectively at what you have because what you see is what you will get. They always leave at least a hint. For those in the quest I wish everyone the same fortune that I have.

Mike


Stickman's thoughts:

This really is a heart-warming story. As much as I enjoy reading the bargirl done me wrong stories, it would be nice to hear from more guys who think their marriage to a Thai woman is as good as yours. It would perhaps be extra interesting to hear just why they think it is that way.